Penance
by The Prime Minister
Summary: The sequel to "Circumnavigation." Begins with Zel and Amelia's wedding, then proceeds to follow Lina and Xellos.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!!

Penance  
by the Prime Minister

It was done, and there was nothing he could do about it. He leaned against the tree and sighed, letting the exhalation carry the tension away from his physical form. He honestly hadn't expected the spell to turn out like it had. Somehow she had found a way inside his casting; that was the only explanation he could offer. The spell couldn't be performed without mighty astral power, and only his race survived to wield such power. The dragons could cast such spells as well, but with time their people had become more and more like regular, mortal beasts. Not to say that his kind wasn't undergoing the same process, but still...Few remained that were more powerful than he, and yet that mortal woman had still found a way to turn his spell from his control.  


Now that he thought about it, he should never have told her about the spell. Lina was crafty, and she was unpredictable at best. He should have known that something untoward would happen. Still, the temptation to make things more interesting had been there, and he had indulged in it. It wasn't in his nature to turn down a chance for fun.  


That fun had backfired and badly. He hadn't meant to destroy Dolphin's general and priest, honestly. Of course, doing so single-handedly was no problem for him. He was far more powerful than both of them combined. Even with his help, however, Lina shouldn't have been able to kill all those monsters, especially not the priest. A slight scowl warped his brow as he focused on the horizon. Perhaps channeling the Lord of Nightmares all those years ago had augmented her power in some way. He would have to reevaluate the situation.  


the wind whispered, and he shoved himself away from the tree, looking over his shoulder at the gaping maw of the cavern entrance behind him.  


Yes, Mistress? he replied, a rarely-felt sensation of apprehension settling coldly in his stomach.  


Come here, the voice on the wind commanded.  


Yes, at once, he said, looking one more time at the ocean surrounding Wolfpack Island. With a thought he pulled his physical body onto the astral plane, rematerializing at the foot of a stone throne carved in the twisted forms of canines. He knelt, placing a fist on the floor and looking up into Xellas Metallium's eyes. They were golden, with the small, round pupils of a wolf. Blonde hair spilled about her shoulders as she shook her head slowly. He admired her long, tan, slender limbs as she gestured him to rise, the multitude of bangles on her wrist jangling with the motion. Ah yes, his mistress enjoyed being in her physical form just as much as he liked his, something he supposed he inherited from her.  


she repeated in a throaty voice.  


he answered, rising slowly and gripping his staff more tightly.  


The Beastmaster sighed and closed her golden eyes. I heard what has happened. You should have known better.  


The cold lump in Xellos' abdomen grew larger. It was an unfortunate accident, he said calmly. Things got out of hand.  


It's because of that human girl, isn't it, Xellos? You underestimated her once again.  


I fear that is so, he said, bowing his head.  


Really, I don't understand this fascination of yours with this mortal girl. In all the years of your existence she is the first that has held your attention for more than a few moments. Why her?  


A smile spread across his lips in spite of himself. Mistress, in all the years of my existence I have never found a mortal so powerful as she, nor have I encountered one so volatile. She is like a feast for our kind.  


Xellas pressed her full lips into a tight line. Such an obsession is unhealthy. Because of your fascination our sister's minions have been destroyed. That is simply unforgivable.  


I apologize. I never expected events to go so far.  


That does not change what transpired. I'm afraid that you must be punished for your indiscretions.  


But, Mistress, he began.  


She cut him short with a wave of her bejeweled hand. There are no excuses for what has taken place. I must pass judgment, for what you did was terrible and grave.  


What are you going to do to me? he whispered.  


She lowered her head slightly and sighed. I must revoke your powers and immortality. That is the only action I can take to placate the remaining Monster lords. You, Xellos, must spend the remainder of your days as a human.  


he gasped, eyes wide. But you can't...  


I'm sorry, she said sadly, raising a hand. Goodbye, Xellos.  


He opened his mouth to protest once more, but before he could speak the world closed in upon him and promptly went black.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

the tall blonde man asked with a grin.  


Shut up, Zelgadis muttered, rubbing his eyes with his hands vigorously.  


Does that mean yes?  


Zel's face flushed deeply and a growl rose from his throat. he snarled, It means shut up.  


Gourry's face fell. he replied with a sigh, tugging at the collar of his shirt.  


Stop that! Zel snapped, turning on the taller man. Can't you act like an adult for five minutes?  


Gourry's wide blue eyes blinked and he frowned slightly. Zel, this is your wedding day. Why are you so angry? Don't you want to get married?  


  


Gourry's frown deepened. Don't you love Amelia? he said quietly.  


Zel's blush grew deeper and his hands curled into fists. Of course I do! he blurted, then put a hand over his face and shook his head. I can't imagine life without her.  


Then you should be happy, Gourry said with a tilt of his head. The woman you love wants to spend the rest of her life with you.  


Zel sat down heavily in a nearby chair, propping his forehead against his knuckles. I know, I know, he muttered towards the floor.  


Gourry sat in a neighboring chair and propped an elbow up on the table. Then what's the problem?  


Zelgadis lowered his face and shut his eyes. Well, after the wedding reception, we'll be alone and I'll be expected to. . .to. . .  


  


To. . .well, you know. . .  


Uh, no?  


Er, consummate the marriage. . .  


Gourry sat up straight and pounded his fist against his open hand. Oh, you mean that you have to have sex with her! he crowed.  


Zelgadis hid his face in his hands and groaned. Thanks for putting it so delicately.  


Gourry scowled and scratched his head. But don't you want to have sex with her?  


That's not it.  


Well? Don't you?  


Yes, dammit!  


Then I guess I don't see a problem, Gourry replied, relaxing in his chair once again.  


Zelgadis stood and went over to the full-length mirror on the wall, perfecting the position of his red silk cravat and straightening the lapels of his suit jacket. Still staring at his reflection, he reached out and traced his features on the glass. he said softly, I'm a chimera.  


  


I don't even know if physical intimacy is possible between us. My body is part stone, and I don't ever want to hurt her.  


I don't think Amelia's worried. She just wants to be with you.  


That's just it, Zel replied, turning away from the mirror. She feels that way now, but what's going to keep her from going to someone else, someone who can hold her, later on?  


Gourry exhaled through his nose and stood slowly. He walked over to Zelgadis and put his battle-roughened hand on the shorter man's shoulder. She loves you, Zel, he said gently. She loves you with all of her heart, and you will find a way. He paused, looking down into the chimera's face. Besides, you don't even know what you guys can and can't do. You haven't even tried.  


That's true, Zelgadis began, But what if-  


Master Zelgadis, it's time, a page said, poking his head through the door.  


You don't have time to worry about it now, Gourry said with a chuckle.  


Zelgadis rubbed his palms together and glanced around nervously. How do I look?  


Gourry said with a grin. Go get her.  


Zel flashed the swordsman a brief smile and walked out the door. Gourry watched him for a few moments with a grin on his face and then followed suit.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

It was bitter, very bitter. How many years had they been together? How many as friends, and how many as lovers? Of course, the transition between the two was difficult to discern, since the progression had seemed natural. Still, over time, the east that she felt around him had changed to tension. It was oddly simple for Lina to find the fault within herself. Gourry was older, after all, even if it was only a few years. He just seemed to want something different than she did at this point in their lives. He was still willing to stick it out with her, of that there was no doubt, but she could see the fatigue settling in his eyes. He was tired of never learning more about her, of never being let in. She could see these within him, and what she couldn't see, she could sense. She regretted it, and that regret was what tasted bitter. She had wanted to let him in, honestly she had, but she didn't want to have to explain herself. She knew he understood how she was, what she was, and accepted it, but what she needed was for him to understand the why. Gourry, as dear and as wonderful as he was, and no matter how much she cared for him, was not equipped to examine and discover things about her. She knew this, and it turned her heart into lead.  


Somehow it just didn't seem fair. It had taken her so long to become his lover in the first place, and now she found she wanted to get away from him. He wouldn't let her go easily, she knew that. Whatever else happened, he loved her dearly. It showed in his voice when he spoke to her, in his eyes when he looked at her, and in his touch when they lay together at night. He was the only man her body had ever known, and she honestly had no desire for it to be any other way. Still, they were drifting. When they loved one another in the darkness she was aware of his need for more of her. She had given him what she could, but he had bestowed his soul upon her and desperately wanted hers in return. She wondered if part of her problem was the easy conquest he had been. There was no challenge in having him or being with him when she was the only woman in the world he had eyes for.  


Her mind strayed, as it often did, to the other men in her life. Zelgadis had felt something for her at one time, but both of them were too driven by their own goals to ever become more than friends. Lina had been happy when Zelgadis had gone to Amelia, finally returning the Princess' love. Amelia tempered him and loved him unconditionally, much as Lina knew Gourry loved her. For Lina, however, there were conditions. Gourry wanted all of her, and she did not want to give. She thought back to the last time she had seen Xellos. The Monster had always hinted that he was willing to have fun with her. It wasn't love; she was certain Xellos wasn't capable of feeling such a thing. She had been curious, though, as to what it would feel like to have those strong, lusty hands move from her throat down to the rest of her body. Still, she had been with Gourry at the time, and circumstances had not allowed for experimentation with the trickster priest. She wondered where Xellos was at the moment. The wedding was bothering her more than she anticipated, and if anyone could take her mind off of things, it was Xellos.  


Then again, she hadn't expected the wedding to be so difficult for her. First of all, she was sincerely happy to see two of her closest friends, of her only friends, get married. Secondly, she was very, very happy for all the free food. Still, something stuck in her throat, and she suspected that it was her growing bitterness towards the relationship she and Gourry shared. Perhaps she was becoming disgusted with the way he smiled at her sweetly every time she stole a glance at him, or how he kept trying to put his arms around her. On some level she felt that he was laying claim to her, and that was never something she appreciated.  


She glanced at him again and realized that for some reason she didn't want to be around him right then; the sight of him made the bitterness rise in her throat. She just didn't know if she wanted him to be her entire future or not, and that uncertainty put her ill at ease.  


The festive mood of the whole affair was bringing her down as well. Zelgadis and Amelia sat at the high table, faces flushed and beaming, their fingers interlaced. Amelia paused in her animated conversation every so often and brought her new husband's hand up to her lips. Zel would blush and smile, tightening his grip on her hand. They both looked so breathlessly happy and excited. They were very obviously in love, and Lina just didn't want to put up with it.  


She was lost in her thoughts when she felt a strong hand on her shoulder. she said passionlessly.  


Hey, Lina, he said. Isn't this great?  


Yeah, fabulous, she grumbled, putting her elbows on the table and leaning on them.  


Gourry beamed and rubbed her upper arm with his thumb. Doesn't it make you feel like we should get married someday?  


Her insides went cold and she shrugged off his hand. he asked, voice filled with concern.  


Let's talk about it later, she said curtly.  


Okay. I think we should, though. After all, we're already sleeping together.  


Like you need to remind me, she growled.  


He sighed and leaned back in his chair. Lina Gabriev, he said softly.  


She shot him a look that could have blistered paint. I'm not your property, she snapped. There is no way I'll ever change my name. I belong to no one!  


His face fell and he shrugged. Okay, you don't need to change your name. I love you, not you're called. I just thought that once we got married-  


And I thought I told you that we'd talk about this later, she spat, getting up from the table abruptly.  


Oh, sure, Lina. Sorry.  


She groaned and rubbed her temples. she mumbled, her eyes flickering towards the newlyweds. Zelgadis' eyes kept flicking eagerly up and down Amelia's body. She wished Gourry would look at her that way once in a while, but his intentions were always too naive. He wanted her, there was no doubt about that, but he didn't seem to hunger for her. However, there might be someone who possibly did.  


Where's Xellos? she asked suddenly. I thought he was supposed to come, whether we liked it or not.  


Gourry replied, worry still lingering in his features.  


she said, scanning the crowd.  


Well, I haven't seen him, Gourry mumbled more glumly than was customary.  


She wondered what was eating the big blonde. Then, very suddenly, she wanted to be away from it all and realized she could make that desire a reality. I have a headache, she announced.  


Would you like me to take you back to your room? Gourry offered, standing.  


No, I'll be fine, she muttered, waving him off.  


Are you sure?  


Yes. I'll see you in the morning.  


He embraced her tightly for a brief moment, pressing her head against his chest. All right then. Sleep tight.  


Sure thing, she said, and moved out of the ballroom.  


At the high table, Amelia prodded Zel gently with her elbow, gesturing with her eyes towards the doorway. Zelgadis put down his wineglass and followed her gaze just in time to see Lina leave the room briskly. he asked his new wife.  


Something's going on between Mister Gourry and Miss Lina, she whispered.  


What do you think it is? Zelgadis said, gazing down into her wide, blue eyes.  


If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a lover's quarrel, she replied softly.  


He smiled and squeezed her hand. Well, I've been thinking that they've been intimate for a while, Zel said.  


Her eyes went even wider. How can you be sure?  


I can't. I can tell you this, however: a man looks at the woman he's decided upon a certain way, and it only deepens after they've become lovers.  


What's the look? she murmured, cheeks staining a deeper shade of pink.  


It's the way I look at you, he whispered, blushing.  


A flush crept up her neck and merged with the rosiness of her face. she breathed. She stared off into the crowds of people for quite some time. I think I'll go find out what's wrong with her before it gets worse, she said, beginning to rise from her seat.  


a voice boomed, and Zelgadis winced as Prince Phil scooped up his daughter in a bear hug.  


Amelia said without her usual vigor. Zel followed her gaze in the direction Lina had gone. He nodded at his wife and rose, quickly making his way through the crowds and into the hallway, hot on the trail of the departed sorceress.  



	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

She was closing the door behind her when she felt someone standing nearby. Whirling, she faced the darkness and readied herself, heart pounding in her chest. Who's there? she said softly, eyes scanning the shadows.  


Where are you going? a familiar voice asked, and she saw Zelgadis step out from the darkness.  


Uh, for a walk, she said quickly. It was too stuffy in there with all those people.  


Going for a walk with your luggage? Zel asked.  


Sure, why not?  


Zel sighed and shook his head. It isn't like you to run, Lina.  


You don't understand, she muttered.  


Try me.  


I'd rather just go.  


Listen, Amelia's going to want to know why you're cutting out on our wedding party. Is it Gourry? Are you leaving him?  


What on earth are you talking about? she growled.  


Zelgadis pursed his lips and looked at her, eyes flat. I know what's been going on between you two. You've been lovers for a while now, haven't you?  


You're crazy, she replied, preparing to brush past him.  


He held out a solid arm to the side and stopped her in her tracks. Don't lie to me, Lina. You're awful at it. You might be able to fool yourself, but you're not pulling one over on me.  


What is it you want, Zel? she asked, suddenly feeling deflated. Her shoulders slumped as she let her satchel slide to the floor with a thud.  


So, you are leaving him.  


  


  


You wouldn't understand.  


Zelgadis dropped his arm and sighed, lowering his chin to his chest. Think not?  


She looked up into his sculpted features and recalled what he had been through in his life. Fine, she grumbled, unable, as always, to keep things from Zelgadis. I don't know if I can stand spending the rest of forever with him. I'm not sure I love him.  


You're worried he won't give you what you need, and ask too much of you in the bargain, he said quietly.  


She blinked and exhaled softly. That's exactly it. How did you know?  


A small smile graced his mouth. Because I've spent the last year asking myself those same questions. You don't think my relationship with Amelia came easily, do you?  


But you figured it out? Weren't you afraid?  


A blush stained the tops of his cheeks and he coughed. I was terrified of her and what she might need from me. But after I thought about it I realized she didn't expect anything from me. All she truly wanted was to have me near her. It turned out that I wanted, I still want, the same thing from her. If she's near me then that's all that I need.  


How do I know?  


I can't tell you. Hopefully someday you'll just feel it. I wish I could tell you more, but I think you need to find the answers out for yourself.  


She sighed and reached out impulsively, squeezing his upper arm with her hand. Make sure he doesn't think that I'm doing this because I don't care about him, okay?  


He closed his eyes and nodded. Of course, he replied.  


She smiled and picked up her pack, slinging it over her shoulder. Good luck with your new wife. I wish you both all the best.  


He watched her walk away from him into the night. Best luck to you, Lina Inverse. I hope you find your answers.  


Me too, she replied, and disappeared into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

A week later found her hundreds of miles away from Seyruun. She wasn't certain that Gourry wouldn't try to follow her, although she knew Zelgadis would do his best to ensure the swordsman stayed put. Still, better safe than sorry, and so she put as many miles between them as possible. She actually had no idea where she was precisely, nor did she care. She just wanted to go wherever her feet took her and let fate take care of the rest.  


She had been walking about half a day when something shiny up ahead caught her eye. Whatever it was shimmered devilishly in the sunlight, as if summoning her with its twinkling. It seemed to be lying just to the right of the road and had to be at least the size of her fist, or so she estimated from the amount of sparkle it was putting off. Still, her love of shining things had brought her trouble in the past, and so she considered turning back and taking a different fork in the road. Besides, if something so large and so obvious hadn't been taken already there might be danger. Not that she minded peril, but she just wasn't in the mood for it. She still wondered why the thing up ahead hadn't been stolen, and after many minutes of deliberation she decided that it couldn't hurt to at least check it out.  


Her decision having been made, she strolled nonchalantly towards the shiny thing, shuffling her feet in the dust of the road as if she didn't have a care in the world. The light from the shiny thing winked at her as she got closer, seeming like a beacon and only fueling her curiosity. Before long she was on top of it, and she saw the reason that no one had disturbed it. It was connected to a staff, which was half-buried beneath a dead man. A lot of people were afraid of taking things off of dead people, wary of any curses the deceased would cast on the thief. That was most people, however, not Lina Inverse. She reached down to snatch the jewel when she felt as if she were finally truly seeing the situation. A cold shudder raced down her body as she realized she recognized both the jewel and the staff. They had belonged to Xellos.  


She took a step back, eyes wide as she snatched her hand away. The rest of the body was covered by a dark, tattered cloak, hiding the person's hair and features. She swallowed and gingerly crouched down, daintily lifting the corner of the black fabric. Silky purple hair glinted duskily in the midday sun, making her breath catch in her throat. Clearing the hair away, she gently touched the familiar cheek, and odd sorrow filling her chest as she wiped mud off of his face. she breathed. There was no response from the man.  


She sighed and pushed down the shock that was rising within her. Xellos was an extremely powerful Monster, and if something had managed to kill him, she was certainly no match for it. She pursed her lips and glanced around warily, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Well, nothing except for the dead man before her. She looked at him again and realized his skin had been fairly warm. If he was indeed dead, he hadn't been so for long.  


Fighting the desire to flee, she decided to feel for his pulse. The way he was lying on the staff prohibited her from checking his heartbeat, and so she gripped the wood and tried to move it. Suddenly the staff was in motion, startling her so much that she fell soundly on her rear. A low groaning sounded through the air and stared, wide-eyed, as the man pulled the staff further underneath his body. she tried again, shuffling over to him on her hands and knees, heedless of the mud that stuck to her clothing. Is that you?  


She was rewarded with a low moan and the man shifted, the set of his shoulders that of someone in pain. She sat by his head and gently wiped the hair out of his face, nose wrinkling in distaste as she fingered the mud-caked strands. His skin was deathly pale and also coated with filth. Still, she recognized his sharp, impishly handsome features. It was undoubtedly Xellos.  


What happened? she asked, grunting as she rolled him onto his back. He coughed and moaned, eyes still shut tight against the sun. He was in obvious pain and apparently very, very weak. He had been beaten badly, she realized as she guided his head and shoulders into her lap. So badly, in fact, that her healing spells wouldn't even make a difference. Fear gripped her again with icy claws. Xellos was so strong; what could have possibly reduced him to this state?  


He coughed again and she freed her waterskin, dribbling moisture in between his parted, cracked lips. Come on, Xellos, she growled. Come to.  


He turned his head at the sound of her voice, an eye opening just a crack. Miss Lina? he rasped.  


she said, smoothing the hair back from his battered forehead.  


How are you doing? he asked, dry lips twisting in a tight smile.  


Shut up. You're in no condition to be worrying about me. How the hell did this happen to you?  


His features fell and he coughed again. Could we talk about his later? I'm afraid I'm not quite feeling up to being interrogated just now.  


She scowled. Right. Can you walk? she asked, staring down at him with a worry-etched countenance.  


Perhaps with help, he replied, wincing as he shifted.  


You really got your ass kicked, she said between gritted teeth, using every ounce of her wiry strength to help him upright.  


I suppose that's one way to put it, he said ruefully as he leaned heavily on her shoulder.  


Come on, she grunted, gripping his wrist where it was draped across her shoulder, her other hand holding him tightly around his trim waist. 

We need to make it to the next town by nightfall.  


Slowly but surely, they made it to an inn before night was fully upon them. Lina had haggled fiercely for two rooms, but the inn was so full she was forced to settle for one. She angrily hauled Xellos to his feet and dragged him up the stairs roughly, ignoring his protestations and pleas for her to be gentle. As she got him into the room, however, she was glad they were staying together. She realized she really didn't want to leave him alone in the shape he was in.  


She sat him in a chair as she contemplated the room. There were two beds, as she had requested, and she wondered for a moment if she should take other measures to prevent him from meeting her in the night. She seemed to recall several times where he had seemed interested in her. One glance at him, however, made her decision for her; he was having difficulty staying upright in his chair. She seriously doubted he would pose a problem this evening. She shuddered at the thought of the last time he had been alone in an inn with her, then pushed the thoughts away. She had been drunk, and his hands had been so cool and strong as they traced the tendons in her neck. She had wanted him that night and had a feeling he would have let her take him, but she had passed out before anything could happen. In fact, she had awoke in her own bed in Amelia's wing of the castle the next morning. She suspected that it had been Xellos who had seen to her welfare.  


She pulled herself back into the present and planted her hands on her hips, sighing as she watched him struggle to stay upright. It was her turn to take care of him, it seemed. You're filthy, buster, she growled. You need to bathe.  


I suppose so, he replied without raising his head, leaning heavily on his staff even while sitting.  


I didn't think a Monster could let himself get into such a sorry state, she said tartly.  


Miss Lina, there's something I should tell you, he murmured, shaking as he began to sit up straight. His knuckles turned white where he gripped his staff and his eyes started to slowly open.  


Sudden fear gripped er around the middle and she turned away sharply. For some reason she didn't want to see what the amethyst depths of his eyes would reveal. Let's get you bathed and we can talk about it in the morning, she said abruptly. If I help you down to the baths do you think you can manage cleaning yourself?  


He surprised her with a short, melodious laugh. I have a feeling I had better try, he said, and heaved himself to standing with a pained grunt. 

When she turned around, his eyes were closed and his customary smile was on his face. Shaking her head, she went to him and put an arm around his waist. She supported him in that manner until they reached the bathhouse.  


Once Xellos was safely leaned against the wall inside the men's bath, Lina called the attendant back outside and pressed a gold coin into his hand. Make sure he's well cared for, she growled. If he doesn't come out of there perfectly clean and happy, or if he doesn't come out of there at all, I think you'll find yourself regretting it. Do you understand me?  


Yes, Miss, the attendant stammered, and immediately disappeared into the building. She smiled to herself and took a bath as well before heading back to the room.  


Xellos appeared a few moments after she returned, supported by the bath attendant. She slipped the attendant another coin and helped Xellos to the bed farthest from the door. He sat down heavily and beamed up at her, fingering the lose, brown cotton pajamas he was dressed in. They took my clothes, he explained as he let his staff come to rest next to him on the mattress. I imagine they will be mended as well. It was terribly undignified, being stripped and dressed like that, although they did try to be gentle.  


she replied absently, mind silently working on the questions she wanted to ask him. Somehow she found the discipline to keep her mouth shut, but she was so buried in thought she jumped when his hand gently touched her wrist.  


Miss Lina? he asked softly. Are you all right?  


She stared at where he had placed his hand upon her, his long, shapely fingers wrapped around her slender bones. There are some things I want to know, Xellos, she said in a low voice. And if you tell me that the answers are a secret, I swear to all that's holy that I will hurt you.  


Are you sure you want the truth? he replied softly, tenderly releasing her wrist.  


I just know that not knowing is driving me nuts, she replied, touching her skin in the same spot his cool, smooth fingers had held her.  


I think it will disturb you, he said with an uncharacteristically melancholy sigh.  


I don't care! she protested. I want to know why you were lying in a ditch half dead and how you were put in that state!  


You never have had much concern for the consequences of your curiosity, have you, Miss Lina?  


Tell me.  


Are you certain? It could change things.  


Tell me, dammit!  


He turned his head to the side, reaching up and putting a hand to the back of his neck. Miss Lina, I-I'm rather nervous, I suppose. I don't want things to change any more than they already have, he murmured, his thick bangs falling over his face and hiding his eyes.  


You, nervous? Why?  


That's why I need to be absolutely sure that you won't regret knowing. Please.  


She sighed and pursed her lips, examining him for several moments and wondering why he was acting so strangely. He certainly wasn't being the ebullient, mischievous Xellos that she knew. All right, Xellos. I'm absolutely sure I want to know exactly what's going on. There, are you satisfied?  


Very well, he replied, turning his head toward her slightly.  


  


Look into my eyes, Miss Lina, he whispered, turning his face to her and opening his eyes.  


She took a step closer and bent a little so that she could look him in the face. her eyes met his and she looked deeply into the endless amethyst, feeling herself pulled towards him. she began, and then it hit her like a slap across the face. It was his pupils- his pupils, once slitted, were round. She stared so deeply into a human being's eyes. Oh my god, she breathed, taking a step back as her own eyes opened wide.  


He reached for her again, but she had moved out of his grasp. His hand fell beside him on the bed and his body began to shake. I can't take it, Miss Lina, he whispered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he closed them. How can you take this?  


She knelt next to him and put her hands on his knees, at a loss on what to do. Take what, Xellos?  


He turned a tear-streaked face to her. This body...I die a little more every second of every day. How do you keep from going mad, knowing that with every moment that passes you are that much closer to decay?  


Oh, Xellos, she murmured, gripping his knees more tightly. She just didn't know what to say to him. She was still too shocked by what he had revealed to her.  


he sobbed. I am mortal. I find that without eternity stretched out before me I do not want to live at all.  


Don't talk like that, she said sharply, standing up. Being mortal just means you have to do more with the time you're alive.  


But how can you bring yourself to do anything when you can feel the end crawling through your veins?  


I can't feel that, she replied. Then again, I don't know what it feels like to be ageless and eternal. I think that I understand your bland demeanor now, though. Humans love life and live it with passion, or at least they should. The candle that burns brightest burns quickest.  


I can't do this. . .  


It doesn't matter. Look at you. You used to be strongest Monster under the sun, after the five lords.  


Please, don't remind me of what I have lost.  


Well, how can you let yourself be beaten like this? You lose your immortality, but you can lead a different kind of life now. You're free, you don't have to answer to anyone ever again.  


I would rather not feel this pain. Nothing has ever hurt so badly.  


I suspect you don't have any comparison for that, either, she grumbled. You've never loved someone and lost them, or had a person you loved die.  


But I'M dying, he countered. I'm also missing most of my astral form. All of my Monsterly powers have been completely stripped away. Xellos, the priest of Beastmaster, is no more, and now only the pitiful human is left.  


How do you even know what sort of human you are? she said hotly, becoming impatient. You haven't even tried!  


If I cannot serve my mistress then I do not want to exist at all.  


Who, Beastmaster?  


She defined my existence. Without her, I am nothing.  


Good god, pull your head out of your ass! she howled, grabbing her forehead. This is your chance to define your world for yourself!  


He looked up at her, dark eyes probing her face so intently that it gave her the shivers. He was still powerful, she had no doubt of that, and wondered if she wanted him to discover that fact as well. How, Miss Lina?  


Just follow my lead. Lina Inverse leads the life she wants to and no other!  


A small smile crossed his face, momentarily restoring some of his previous handsomeness. So I, too, shall live the life Lina Inverse wants to lead, he replied softly, a hint of humor in his quiet, smooth tones.  


she said with a nod. Now you should go to sleep. I'll have a doctor come look at you in the morning.  


He tried weakly for several moments to maneuver himself under the covers, and finally she had to step in and help him. She gently laid his shoulders against the bottom of the pillow, and as she stood up he managed to catch a lock of her fiery hair. Thank you, Miss Lina, he whispered, running the strands between his fingers.  


She took a step away from him, smiling to handle the horror she felt at his weakness. The lock of hair was pulled from his hand and he laid his palm on the mattress, his eyes already drooping shut.  


You're welcome, Xellos, she whispered, and climbed into her own bed. She rolled onto her side and watched him breathe for a long time, then was herself gently pulled into slumber. 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

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Xellos opened his eyes, his pupils adjusting to the light in the room. He was lying on his side, looking across the other bed at where Lina slept. How could she do it? How could she tolerate knowing that she was wasting away with every second?  


He could recall his fascination with her when he was still immortal. She was so full of fire, and he was drawn to it as a moth to a flame. Which, of course, had been his undoing. How ironic that he would find himself on an equal level with the person who had caused his fall. How awful that he was now condemned to the same fate as she. Even as he lay still he could feel the decay creeping through his body, growing with every moment that passed. Someday, years and years into the future, the decay would encompass all of him and he would die. He would not die with glory, as a Monster of his status should have, but as an old human man. If he even made it that far. He was newly susceptible to diseases and physical ailments. Swords could kill him, or even a well-thrown rock. It was absurd that the general-priest of Xellas Metallium should be condemned to such a fate.  


He tried for the millionth time to gather his energy and fade onto the astral plane, and was disappointed once again. A silent sob wracked his body and he ground his teeth together, desperately trying again. Why, why did it have to be this way? Where was the comfort of the astral void he had always known? He imagined he could feel the part of him that had been cut away just beyond his reach, hovering at the fringes of the astral plane, but he could not draw upon it. In fact, he barely had an astral body at all. It was only the size of Lina's. Well, perhaps a littler larger than hers, but not much. All that untapped power, just out of his reach. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to pull back into himself, but he could not. The pain of his wounds kept him awake, and nothing he had ever experienced before was comparable to the agony he was in at present. Even having half of his body sliced away by Gaav hadn't hurt so badly. That was one difference he had noticed immediately upon waking by the side of the road near the ocean, across the water from Wolfpack Island. Physical sensation was multiplied a thousandfold. His mortal senses were far more dull, but the feeling of the air on his newly-mortal skin had nearly sent him into a screaming fit. It was if his nerve endings were on fire, although he was slowly becoming used to the heightened state of physical feeling. If he hadn't felt death slowly crawling through his mortal body it might have been actually pleasant to be so aware of his flesh, but as things stood it was agony. His wounds throbbed and burned in some parts, or ached and were icy in others. He could hardly move, so stiff were his muscles, and he was certain several of his ribs were broken. He, Xellos, had been broken. He took a deep breath for a sob, which threw him into a fit of spasms. The pain made him cry out softly and he was dimly aware of Lina stirring in her sleep. He contorted in anguish, unable to make a sound because of the convulsing of his ribcage, and desperately gasped for air.  


He shouldn't have been in this state. No mortal should have been able to wound him. Actually, he thought he had taken the change quite well at first. After waking up on the road and realizing what had been done to him, he had resolutely ignored it in a state of shock. So he was newly mortal, so what? He would return to normal again someday, he just had to. There was no way his mistress would just leave him like this, was there? He had brushed the dust off of his clothing and immediately set out, managing to convince himself that the punishment was only temporary. His body adopted a traveling stride and he made good time across the countryside, steadfastly refusing to truly examine his situation. He would simply move forward and everything would be all right.  


He had managed several days of that denial, making his way slowly inland. The knowledge that no one would help him crept into his brain, and it became harder and harder to deny his new reality. Sure, he could feel his body dying day by day, but it was only for a while, of that he was certain. He could bear it because he knew that it would someday be reversed. It was with difficulty that he kept from testing the limits of his power to see what had been taken from him. After all, how would he know that he was actually mortal? He knew that spells had been cast on Monsters before to trap them in their physical bodies. Look at Gaav, for example. He still had all his Monsterly powers even while trapped in a physical body. Most likely his mistress had done something similar to him. After all, there was no way that he, of all people, could be an actual, bona fide mortal. It was simply impossible.  


Then the bandits had attacked him. He had immediately pushed away the panic that had been rising within him over the past week and had found it within him to be amused. Imagine, a pack of humans attacking someone as powerful as he was! He actually smiled, he could remember feeling the smirk cross his face, and raised his staff. The men rushed towards him, eyes full of greed and blades drawn, and he had called the spell. Nothing happened. He was shocked to the very core of his being. Where power should have flowed into him freely there was only emptiness. He could no longer tap into the power of the astral void. Raw astonishment broke over him as he stared at the men coming at him, dropping to his knees before they even reached him. It didn't matter to him as they cut him and battered his body, kicking him long after he had been knocked down. They took his money, rolled him into a ditch to die, ran off, and he didn't care. All his power, all his amazing might, was gone, like a candle flame extinguished. He couldn't even bring himself to cast a human spell, so acute was the loss of his demonic energy. It was then that he realized that he truly was a mortal, that he would live and die on the crust of the lowly mortal planet, forever separated from his power and his people. He did not want to live, and mercifully slipped into the unconsciousness brought on by unbearable pain.  


The next thing he knew Lina had found him. He didn't know what to think. Of all the people wandering the earth, she discovered him. Now, because of her, he would most likely live. His native curiosity warred with his intense desire to leave the disgusting, painful mortal plane behind. He could do that, now that he was human. He was capable of just up and dying, an option he had never really had before. Oh, how satisfying it would be to just slip away. He wagered that it wasn't hot in death; he had visited Hellmaster's realm enough to know exactly what awaited the dead. Yes, eternal oblivion for his awareness sounded perfectly suited to his needs. He wanted to leave his weak, dying body behind and have his essence free to roam whatever plane it would, just as it did when he was a Monster. Then his skin wouldn't burn so, his head wouldn't spin, and he could finally rest. . .  


a voice said, calling him back from whatever edge he had been skirting. He blinked, the light in the room drilling into his brain as the attempted to focus his eyes.  


he moaned weakly, in too much pain to even move. It felt as if his limbs were on fire, as if his skin was actually being seared away by flames. Let me go.  


Oh god, you're burning up! the voice said, and he shut his eyes. It was no good. He couldn't focus on anything, it hurt too badly. He felt something inside of him slip, and fear gripped his heart. This was it, he was really dying. The decay of his body suddenly began to increase, making him feel as if he was riding in a runaway cart. The pain intensified bit by bit, and he realized that soon it would all be over. Why, even as he heard the thud of footfalls across the wooden floor he could sense the void stretching before him. He was going to die, he was so close. It was just death, however, not the total obliteration of life and spirit that the Monster race desired. Death, he was finding, was not synonymous with destruction. Oh, if the Monsters had only known that, things would have gone much differently! Was that the reason his mistress had never really gone along with the other Monster Lords' plans? Was she aware that the humans were doing a much better job of destroying themselves than Monsters ever could? Did she know that just killing them wouldn't do a lick of good?  


A bitter laugh barely managed to pass his parched, cracked lips, and the burning ran the length of his body. Then, suddenly, hands were upon his chest, cool and soothing through the fabric. He was dimly aware of words being spoken, words that seemed set in a familiar cadence. Then, slowly at first, the death raging through his body began to subside. Fight it, a voice whispered. Come on, this isn't like you.  


It's not me, he managed to croak. I'm not me.  


Of course you are! the speaker replied. It doesn't matter what powers you have, or what your race is, your soul is still the same.  


he mouthed, unable to find the strength to speak.  


the voice screamed, hurting his head. Someone get a doctor!  


he tried to repeat, wanting to get the hands off his chest but unable to move. He wanted to die, he wanted to escape from his newly-cursed existence. Had Amelia felt like this when he cursed her from the astral plane? Had she felt such agony?  


I can't fight infection with a healing spell, the voice growled. You have to fight this, do you understand me?  


He couldn't find the strength to try and reply. A tear leaked out from underneath his closed eyelid and he slowly closed his lips. He would try to die with dignity, although he had learned, through thousands of years of ending life, that there never could be any dignity in death.  


Just look at me, the voice said angrily. Open your eyes, god dammit!  


He let his eyelids flutter open slightly, the only movement he felt capable of. His limbs were slowly turning to stone, and he could feel his reluctant grip on life loosening further. There was Lina, standing over him, her hands glowing with magic. He could see the soft curve of her collarbone where the neck of her pajamas hung loosely, sweat beading on her pale, flawless skin. His gaze met hers and he wished he had the strength to smile at her, so fiercely were her ruby-colored eyes looking at him. Oh, even when she had almost no chance of succeeding she was so determined. That, of course, was one of the reasons he had always been drawn to her. The fire of her life was just too strong to be snuffed out easily. If one wanted to kill her, they would have to completely obliterate everything that she was. He gathered his energy to him and prepared to speak to her for the last time. Why try to save me? he said, voice barely even a whisper.  


She stared directly into his eyes, lips pursed and white at the edges. Her brow was furrowed in a scowl and perspiration rolled down her cheeks, which were flushed with effort. I don't know, she replied, voice strained. All I know is that I must.  


He closed his eyes, wondering if he would lose consciousness before he died, or if the end would come while he was still aware. He wished he could tell her goodbye, but his strength was completely gone.  


It took you long enough! Lina screamed above him, and suddenly there were several sets of hands upon him.  


Sorry, miss, an unfamiliar voice said, and the hands fumbled at his clothing. He opened an eye a crack and gazed at the newcomers. Priests, Lina had managed to conjure up priests from somewhere. He let out a sigh. There was probably no hope that he could die now.  


This man's wounds are badly infected, another person said.  


That's pretty damn obvious, isn't it? Lina snapped. I found him in a ditch, after all. Now what's taking you so long? Hurry up and heal him!  


We're trying, miss. You might want to leave the room.  


I'm not going anywh-oh,she said, clamming up as he felt the priests begin to cut away his clothing. Let me know when you're finished. He heard her footsteps move rapidly out of the room and the door slammed.  


You're lucky your friend called us, one of the priests murmured.  


You're also lucky that she's wealthy enough to pay for the fast horses that brought us here through the night, another added.  


Yes, lucky me, Xellos wheezed. The priests glanced at one another, and the man nearest to him opened his mouth and poured in a liquid. He felt his head go all fuzzy, and in a few moments he knew nothing at all.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

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She felt awful doing this to him, she really did, but it had to be done. After all, she couldn't very well be traveling with Xellos when she was supposed to looking out for herself, could she. Besides, there was information she had to find, and she didn't feeling like sharing the journey with anyone. Yes, it was better this way. If she didn't leave now it would be really difficult to get away. She knew that once he regained consciousness things would change. She wasn't sure how, but she knew that things would be different. It really scared her, actually, knowing that Xellos, who had always been so powerful, was now mortal. It must be awful for him. Still, it wasn't really her business. She had done what she could, and she had to go her own way. It was the best thing for her, and she was the only one that mattered.  


And so Lina left at dawn, leaving Xellos in the room, still unconscious. The priests had cast what spells they could and administered potions, and she made sure that the innkeep and his employees knew exactly what to do for the injured man. Oh, the innkeep had been reluctant at first, but Lina tossed him a few rubies and he seemed mollified. So Xellos was in good hands and she could hit the road.  


She couldn't help thinking of him as she walked down the path to the main highway, remembering the fever-flush of his skin as he blinked up at her with those dark eyes. It was awful to see him in such pain. Why it bothered her at all she wasn't certain. After all, Xellos was a Monster, and as such was an enemy. The moment she had the thought she knew it wasn't true. Xellos was a friend, after a fashion. After all, if it hadn't been for him they would have never made it through some of their journeys. He had helped with Kanzel and Mazenda, and getting to the Clair Bible. He had assisted them in fighting Darkstar, and had even aided in curing Amelia. She never would have been able to defeat Orkalym and Anemony if he hadn't been there. So, all in all, he was probably her best ally. Of course, that was before, when he was still a Monster...  


A small part of her couldn't help but feel responsible for what he was going through. It wasn't in her nature to feel guilty, but uneasiness stabbed at her nonetheless. He hadn't said how he had become human, but she was almost certain it was a form of punishment. Yes, he was definitely being taught a lesson, but for what? It hit her immediately that there was only one thing he could possibly be in trouble for, and that was helping a human to destroy other Monsters. It was so soon after the fight with Deep Sea's minions that there really wasn't any other possibility. So Xellos had been turned into a mortal, and was suffering so, because of her.  


She almost turned back at that moment, hating that she would be the cause of so much pain. She forced herself to press onward, however, and soon was of the mind set that he had been the one stupid enough to be tricked by her, so whatever had happened to him was his own fault. She really had nothing to do with it, actually. If he hadn't underestimated her and been so obvious about his casting she wouldn't have been able to wrest the spell away from him and modify it. There, she thought to herself in satisfaction, it was all his fault.  


The spell he had cast was also the objective of her journey. Oh, sure, she had some personal things to sort out, but she also needed to do some research. Images of Gourry came to her mind, memories of him standing behind her under a tree in the rain, his brawny arms about her to keep her warm, or his mouth upon hers as he made love to her in the dark. She shook her head to chase away the thoughts of him. She was still young and didn't want to be tied down. Maybe someday she would go back to him, but not for a while. A young woman shouldn't shackle herself to one man at such a tender age, in her opinion. She still had things to do, one of which was finding out how to fight off a Monster. Ever since her encounter with the Clair Bible she had known that an attack spell to defeat any Monster was out of the range of possibility. However, the spell Xellos had cast had shown immense promise. That and the curse upon Amelia, which he had probably cast as well, had tremendous potential. They showed her that she didn't have to destroy a Monster outright; she could just manipulate their astral energies against themselves. It was probably quite easy, but she couldn't recreate the spell that Xellos had used. There was something about the way his Monster's power had worked the beginning of the casting that she couldn't see or do. She was sure that she could find an equivalent for humans, however. After all, the first time a piece of Shabranigdo had been resurrected humans had been around, and there had to be spells from that era that were extremely powerful but hadn't been passed down through the generations. She knew that there were hundreds of ruined cities around the continent from that time, and those cities most likely housed libraries, which would contain spellbooks. If she could just get her hands on those spellbooks perhaps she would learn something that would help her defeat Monsters in the future. It was fairly likely that she would continue to have problems with the Monster race for the rest of her life, since she had been the downfall of so many already. She had a piece of Shabranigdo, Gaav, Hellmaster, Valgaav, Sherra, Orkalym, and Anemony under her belt, not to mention all the lesser Monsters, like Kanzel, Mazenda, and Saygram she had destroyed. Yes, the Monsters would undoubtedly come after her again, and she would no longer have the Beastmaster's priest to watch her back, as he seemed to have been fond of doing. She had realized over time that Xellos had. . .something. . .for her, but he was of no use to her now. He was only a shell of the man that he had been. The funny thing was, she realized as she walked along, the sun rising higher into the sky, she had actually liked him. His company hadn't been half bad. He was full of interesting information and was very smart. Of course, one had to be intelligent if he was going to manipulate people into doing exactly what he wanted them to, she supposed. Still, he had been nice, in an odd way, and it was never boring being around him. Well, all that was bound to change one day. They probably would have become mortal enemies at some point in time anyway. However, she could still recall every time he had touched her with those gloved hands of his. . .Scowling at herself, she cleared her mind of all thoughts save of her objective and decided to give none of her acquaintances a second thought until she reached her goal.  


Several days later found her on her way back to the town she had left Xellos in. Her brief journey had been completely fruitless, mostly because she came to realize that she had no idea where the ancient cities were buried, and neither did anyone else. Only one person she knew would possibly be aware of such information, and she had left him behind to recuperate. She honestly hadn't intended to ever see him again, and had been utterly content to leave him behind forever. She needed the information, though, and so she had to see him again. A blush stained her cheeks as she thought about it. She wondered if he would have an opinion on the way she just up and left him. Well, it didn't matter if he did. She'd just show him exactly where he could shove his opinions.  


Growling to herself, she rounded a corner and found herself at the edge of the town square. It was late evening, the sun beginning to sink below the horizon, and the shadows cast in the square were dark and long. She scowled at the late hour, thinking how she should find the inn and see if Xellos was still there, when she really looked at the town square for the first time. It was actually fairly broad for a town as small as this one, and it had the standard fountain in the center. This square, however, had a series of large T-shaped structures, off to the side of the square that was in the direction of the road, and on one of the structures hung a man. She hadn't approached from the highway, so she could only see his back. His wrists were tied at shoulder height to the top part of the T, bound with rope. His ankles were held to the vertical beam of the T with the same coarse rope and his feet were bare and dirty. He was shirtless and his head hung low so that she couldn't really make him out very clearly in the evening shadows. She was repelled by the brutality of the punishment, and she wasn't even sure the man was alive. A raven landed on the crossbeam of the T and cawed loudly, giving her the shivers. Very cautiously she moved around to the front of the man, looking up in apprehension, and nearly fell over when she recognized him. It was Xellos.  


She was so shocked she just stood there for several moments and stared at him. He was filthy, bits of rotten fruit and dirt dried on his skin and in his hair, and his bare torso was covered with scrapes and bruises. He had several lacerations on his shoulders, hands, and feet, and it appeared that he had been beaten with some sort of weapon in the process. His shoulders seemed to be wrenched painfully, and she was certain that it wasn't fun to be hung in such a manner. But what had happened for him to merit this? Was he dead? she asked cautiously, approaching him from the front. Dread filled her at the thought that he wouldn't reply, and she wondered what she would do if he really was dead.  
He opened an eye, his gaze clear and cold. Ah, Miss Lina, he said, voice weak. Lovely to see you again.  


She couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, so flat was his tone. I leave you for a few days and look what happens, she grumbled, trying to distract herself from the horror she felt at his condition. At least he didn't seem to be sick anymore.  


Yes, well, the inhabitants of this town aren't very understanding, he replied.  


How did this happen?  


Let's just say I make a perfect scapegoat, Xellos muttered. I'd really much rather discuss this on the ground.  


She got the hint and stepped forward, freeing his ankles first and then levitating to cut down his wrists. she asked, gently helping him to the cobblestones.  


He laughed once, the sound hollow and bitter. As if this could ever get better, he said, lip curling.  


He might talk like the old Xellos, but he certainly wasn't acting like him. Hey, I'm sorry. If I would have known they would do something like this I wouldn't have left you.  


He glanced at her from under half-closed lids and smiled coldly. Don't lie, Miss Lina. It's unbecoming.  


Anger raced through her and she scowled down at him. Shut up, she snarled. I'm not lying!  


Then why did you leave?  


Because I had things to do.  


Then why did you return?  


I came back for you.  


Please, there needn't be deception between us. We've known one another far too long for that.  


It's true!  


He smiled then, relaxing into her arms. Then what do you need from me?  


She blushed, hating how he was still able to determine her motives. You're the only one who can help me in my research. I was hoping you'd be willing to travel with me.  


Ah. Well, I suppose that would be better than hanging around here, he said, and grunted in pain as he tried to move.  


She put a hand on his shoulder, wincing inwardly at the suffering he must be going through. Hey, hold on. Let me heal you.  


You can't heal what really hurts, he said coldly as he attempted to struggle against her.  


She scowled and slapped him across the face. You shut up. I'm trying to help you.  


He stared up at her, eyes wide with shock for several moments. That's why you slapped me? he asked pointedly.  


She jostled him sharply, stomach lurching as his face contorted in pain. Oh, I'm sorry, she murmured, gently holding him by the shoulders and pulling him into her lap. She leaned over him and put her fingers lightly to his face, casting a healing spell. He looked up at her, his nose only an inch from hers, and she blushed deeply.  


It's all right, he said halfheartedly, closing his eyes and relaxing into her touch.  


She watched as the bruises slowly faded from his face, then moved her hands down and placed them flat on his chest. she murmured.  
His eyes fluttered open, seeming endless in the darkness. he whispered, and her blush became even more intense.  


In a few moments she had healed all of his wounds, which were relatively superficial as opposed to the ones he had suffered previously. That didn't mean they hadn't hurt him, however, and the thought of the villagers attacking him made her oddly angry. Can you stand? she asked, pulling her hands away as if his skin burned her.  


he muttered, standing stiffly. He looked down at her, his face in shadow as his silky hair blew in the night wind. Thank you.  


How did this happen?  


He turned his face towards the road going out of town. Beasts showed up. Trolls and the like. They blamed me, the stranger, for their appearance. You know how these provincials are- when something happens that they can't explain they'll offer the newcomer up as a sacrifice if they think it will save their skins.  


And?'  


And so they beat me and tied me up, which is where I've been for the last few days.  


Why didn't you fight them?  


He turned to her, an expression on his face that she had never seen before. He actually seemed. . .sad. You helped me just to leave me again. I was condemned to life, nearly died, was healed, and nearly killed again. What reason did I have to fight? Why would I possibly want to continue existing?  


I would think you'd have some sort of survival instinct.  


He shook his head. I didn't want to feel it again, that horrible emptiness where such power used to be. I didn't want to reach out and grasp nothing.  


She really didn't know what to say. I can't tell you to want to be mortal. However, that's the way it is, and you might as well make the best of it. Having been a mortal my whole life, I can tell you that I wouldn't have it any other way.  


But why?  


She sighed, looking up into his eyes. Why don't you come with me and find out?  


He examined her for long moments, his eyes shining eerily in the shadows beneath his bangs. Very well, he said quietly. I will help you. I suppose there's nothing stopping me.  


That's the spirit, she said, making a fist and holding it high. You might as well enjoy being human, since you're stuck like that.  


He sighed, glancing around. So where to?  


An evil grin spread across her face. Oh, we're not going just yet. I have some business to take care of.  


  


she snarled gleefully, reaching out and grabbing his wrist. Let's go.  


He made a small noise of surprise as she began to tow him through town, not stopping until they got to the in. She kicked in the door with a yell and barged in, glowering at the people assembled in the common room. Okay, where's that bastard innkeep? she bellowed.  


It's the witch who brought that man! someone shouted, and suddenly swords were drawn and pointed at her.  


Cover me! she called to Xellos, dashing into the fray. It had been so long she she had fought people that it seemed almost fun. It was certainly easier than fighting Monsters. She dodged one man's thrust and kicked another in the stomach, wishing that she had Gourry's swordsmanship at her back. A twinge passed through her as she thought of him, but she quickly pushed it away.  


It's the demon! another man shouted, pointing at Xellos. They crowd moved past her and began to rush him, leaving her in their wake. She snarled and readied a spell when the look upon his face stopped her.  


Xellos stood his ground, watching calmly as the mass of people came at him. Her breath stopped in her throat, and she wondered for a split second if he would give in or fight. Suddenly his face hardened, his jaw clenching, and he raised an arm, palm facing outward. She gasped as she felt immense power gather instantly, quickly casting a Ray Wing on herself. Xellos said softly, eyes cold, and the whole building was engulfed with flames. Some of the men on the fringes of the spell screamed and ran, bodies on fire as they fumbled about in a panic. Xellos slowly rose above the crowd with a lazy levitation spell, the long, lean lines of his body clean against the light of the blaze below him. He calmly looked from side to side, and Lina had never seen such heartlessness in anyone's eyes before in her life, not even when she witnessed him fighting Valgaav. In fact, the unholy, evil glee on his face when he fought Valgaav was far preferable to the emptiness she saw in him now. Calmly he pointed towards one of the men that was crashing about blindly and cast a quick spell. Lina gasped from her vantage point as the earth shifted and a spike of rock burst through the floor, impaling the man. She couldn't believe her eyes- she had just seen someone cast a Dug Haut from the air, something she would have thought impossible. It required immense power to do such a thing. Slowly the realization that Xellos might be more dangerous as a human dawned upon her. Without the forced loyalty that he had been burdened with as a Monster there was no telling what he would do. He had not had affinity for life when he was a Monster, but now that he was burdened with mortality he seemed to have even less of a problem destroying lives. All she could hope for was that he saw her as a friend and not an enemy.  


Before she could blink it seemed to be over. She landed in a cold sweat, clenching her teeth as Xellos extinguished the flames of his Fireball with a wind spell. He turned toward her and she held her breath, wondering if he would now take his revenge for her leaving him behind. He stared at her for a moment, then broke out into the smile he had worn nearly constantly as a Monster. Well, I feel much better, he said brightly.  


She shuddered. If this was his power as a mortal, what sort of might must he have possessed as a Monster? Uh, see? Was that so bad? She had been going to give the innkeep the thrashing of his life for betraying her orders and payment, but Xellos had done much more, and that fact frightened her quite a bit.  


His face fell, his expression returning to one of melancholy. You don't understand, Miss Lina, he whispered, looking at the charred remains of the floor. You don't know what it's like to reach for your power and feel three-quarters of it missing.  


She scowled and strode up to him, putting her hands on her hips and jutting out her jaw. I do so. Remember that spell Mazenda put on me? Do you think that was a good time?  


He cocked his head, blinking down at her. I had forgotten, he said softly.  


He stared at her long enough to make her uncomfortable. She turned away and coughed, looking around. Well, I guess there's not much left to do here. Why don't we find your stuff and get out of here?  


All right, he said mildly, looking about at the sooty remains of the building.  


Lina looked at him askance. Well, he might not be a Monster anymore, but he was definitely just as mercurial now as he was then. She supposed she'd never be able to predict his actions or moods, no matter what race he belonged to. Oh well, that was half the fun. She began to dig through the fallen timbers, hearing him rummage around opposite the building from her. she said, holding up his staff. The wood didn't have a single scratch on it.  


Immediately he was at her side, gently removing the staff from her hand. Thank you, he murmured. I would have hated to lose this.  


  


It's a part of me, he replied, running his shapely hands over the wood.  


  


He grinned sheepishly, putting a hand behind his head. Well, it really used to be a part of me. It was actually an extension of my physical form when I appeared from the astral plane.  


she said, not really sure how to respond.  


He sighed and fingered the jewel set in the end. It's just a staff now, he muttered. Still, it's nice to have it back.  


I'm glad, she said awkwardly, finding herself unduly distracted. She had never seen him without all his clothes on before, and he was far more muscular than she had imagined. She knew he was physically quite strong, judging by all the times he had held her during rescuing her, but she still hadn't expected him to be so cut. He wasn't big and brawny like Gourry, but quite impressive nonetheless. His many layers of clothing had apparently been hiding quite a bit.  


Miss Lina? he asked, and she looked up at him, face stained with a blush.  


Um, yeah?  


I asked you where we were going to sleep tonight.  


Oh, I suppose the woods is all right with me, she said. Are you feeling okay?  


I'm still feeling a little weak, but I'm all right, he replied. We might as well move on.  


Let's go, then, she muttered, and led the way out of town.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

A few days later they sat at a different inn, Lina puzzling over a map as Xellos sat beside her, quietly sipping his tea. I don't get it, she growled. There's supposed to be some ruins right here!  


Xellos put down his cup and stood, moving around behind her and looking over her shoulder at the map. His silky hair brushed against her skin and she scowled to hide a blush. he muttered, reaching around her and tracing the lines on the map. She watched his long fingers move over the parchment and wondered where he had managed to find a pair of gloves identical to the ones he used to have. In fact, his entire wardrobe was fairly similar to what he had worn before.  


she said, trying to look up at him.  


He sat back down and leaned back in his chair with a sigh. Well, that map is completely wrong.  


What? I paid good money for this map! I was assured it was accurate!  


He shrugged, picking up his mug. How would the seller possibly have known? By the looks of it, this map was made a hundred years ago or so at the most. The towns have been gone for close to a thousand years.  


Then where are the towns? she asked angrily. Despite his apparent depression, he still managed to annoy the hell out of her. Of course, it always frustrated her when people knew more than she did.  


He gently took the map from her hands and pulled it over to him, frowning slightly as he examined it. he said, poking a hole in the map with a fork. Here, and here.  


But all thats there is grass!  


Miss Lina, these ruins are very, very old. Over the course of centuries, doesn't it make sense that they would be completely buried?  


I guess so, she growled, crossing her arms over her chest. So how do we get to them?  


He shrugged, taking a sip of tea. Dig, I imagine, he replied casually.  


she mumbled. How long to walk there?  


Two days to the nearest one.  


Just wonderful, she spat.  


He raised an eyebrow, looking at her over the rim of his cup. What's wrong?  


She felt herself turn a deep color of red and scowled at the table. I won't be able to use my magic until a couple days after we get there, she muttered.  


Why can't you. . .oh, he said, realization dawning on his face.  


You'll have to handle the magic, she grumbled, looking to the side in embarrassment.  


But, Miss Lina, when I cast-  


Oh, shut up, she said hotly. I know that you don't like to use it because it reminds you of what you've lost and you don't like casting spells because they make you tired and you used to have a limitless supply of power blah blah blah. You don't have a choice and that's that, okay?  
He seemed to slump slightly in his chair. Very well, he said, staring into his teacup.  


She sighed and reached over to him, putting her hand on his forearm. she said as gently as she could. I can learn a lot from you. You know quite a few spells that have been lost to humans for a long time, and I'd like to see them. In exchange, you can learn how to enjoy being human from me. How does that work for you?  


Fine, I suppose, he said.  


Good, because your attitude is getting on my nerves. There are plenty of great things about being human.  


If you insist. I shall try harder, he said.  


Glad to hear it. Let's enjoy the rest of today and set out tomorrow. What do you say?  


As you wish, he replied.  


They stood on a hill overlooking the small plain, the sky bright and blue above them. Lina stopped beside him and turned her face to the sun, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. On days like this it's good to be alive, she murmured.  


He looked at her askance, then turned his gaze to the plain. he asked.  


She scowled and glared at him. Of course! she snapped.  


He looked at her, confused, and she sighed, shaking her head. I apologize, he began, although he wasn't certain what he was apologizing for.  


she growled, moving around him. She reached up and pulled back his hair, directing his face to the sun. He blushed at her touch and let her move his limbs. Now close your eyes.  


All right.  


He heard her take a deep breath behind him. Now, feel the sun on your face. Isn't it nice and warm? It's especially nice for this time of year. The warmth feels good on your skin, and the air smells wonderful and crisp. The world is quiet and peaceful, and you're here to see it. Isn't it lovely?  


He stood very still for several moments, trying to find the pleasure in what she was relating. It was true, the sun did feel nicer on his skin than it had when he was immortal, but it didn't make him happy to be human. I suppose, he said, not wanting to upset her.  


She shoved him and stormed a few paces away. You're impossible, she grumbled.  


He watched her go, her fists flexing at her sides as she paced around. He didn't really want to be causing her stress, but he really didn't see the fun in being mortal. So what if the sun was nice and warm? He could have sensed that just as well as a Monster. I'm sorry, he called after her, lengthening his stride to catch up.  


What in the hell are you looking for? she spat, shoulders hunched as she walked along.  


He sighed and scratched his head. Miss Lina, I mean no offense, but you don't understand the glory of being a Monster. I miss my power and abilities. What I search for is something that is better than when I was a Monster.  


She shook her head, her red hair flying every which way in the autumn wind. Well, I can't help you there. I don't know what it's like to be a Monster.  


I know, he murmured, keeping pace with her.  


She looked up at him them, her petite face suddenly solemn. You're not alone, Xellos. I know you don't feel a part of humanity yet, but you're not alone.  


He closed his eyes and smiled down at her. Thank you, Miss Lina.  


she grumbled, but a faint smile touched her lips.  


They walked a bit farther and he stopped, tapping his staff on the ground. After a moment's observation, he decided that they were probably in the right location. Here, I believe, he said. The library was about here. You know, this would be much easier if you would tell me what it was you were searching for.  


I can't, she said, coming to stand beside him, examining the dirt as if she could see through it.  


Why not?  


She looked up at him, a twisted grin on her face. Oh, I've waited so long for this, she murmured, eyes gleaming.  


For what?  


Oh, this is too good!  


  


Ask me again.  


Er, why not?  


She broke out into muffled laughter, her entire body shaking with mirth. she chortled, It's a secret!  


His eyes grew wide and he smiled bashfully, scratching at his cheek with a gloved finger. Oh, I see, he murmured.  


Ha ha ha ha ha! she squealed, dancing around him. I finally got to say it to you! Take that!  


Ah, yes, he sighed, still smiling uncertainly.  


After several more minutes of dancing and carrying on she had calmed down somewhat. Oh, that was great, she said, wiping her eyes. So, you really remember this place?  


he replied. It was a rather charming little town. They had wonderful dairy products here.  


You traveled through here, then? Without hassle?  


Yes, that's right, he said.  


She shook her head. So you've basically already lived as a human before. Heck, we all thought you were human for a long time.  


Well, yes. I suppose you're correct.  


So get used to it, she said rather sharply.  


He frowned slightly. Very well, Miss Lina. I'll try.  


Whatever. Let's begin, shall we? she said, and began to tear up clods of dirt.  


I have an easier way, Xellos said. He murmured a few words and walked around the area, concentrating. he declared, and pointed. He chanted a spell, thinking how queer it was to have to rely on other magic than his own powers, and planted his staff into the ground as deeply as he could. Lina gasped as the earth below them began to shake and part, his staff at the center. With a gesture he cast Levitation on both of them and they hovered above the rift in the earth. he said with a grin.  


Okay, that was pretty good, Lina admitted, waiting as he lowered them into the crack. They began clearing away dirt with their hands until an old wooden door appeared. The library? she asked.  


he replied. I don't know in what condition the books will be in, however.  


It's worth a shot, she said, breaking down the door and stumbling inside. He followed her in, augmenting her light spell with his own, and looked around. The insides of the building were covered in dust and dirt, with part of the roof caved in. He turned, gazing up at the ceiling and remembering what it looked like the last time he had been there. Oh, here's some! Lina called, and he swiveled his body to face her.  


he cried, holding out a hand as she shoved the heavy beam out of the way. She gasped as a large chunk of rock fell on her head and she crumpled to the ground as debris began to rain down upon her. He shouted a spell as quickly as he could, throwing all the power he could towards her, cold sweat running down his face as panic set in. She couldn't be hurt, she just couldn't be. Fear gripped his heart with icy fingers and he waited until he was certain his movement wouldn't cause a complete cave-in. When the dust cleared he made his way through the dirt and rocks, careful not to cause another chain reaction of rubble. His breath came in nervous bursts as he began to dig for her, heart tight in his chest. He could only hope his spell had been quick and strong enough. She was the only reason he had to stay alive. She had entertained him in the past, and perhaps would teach him how to have fun again in the future. Lina was still Lina, and just as riveting whether he was a Monster or not. he hissed, using his staff as a pry bar, and within a few moments she was in sight. He reached down and supported her head and neck with one hand, wrapping the other around her waist and gently pulling her out. He carried her over the debris and laid her down, removing his cloak and spreading it out. He positioned her on top of it, making sure they were in a stable section of the library, and wiped the dirt off of her face. She was breathing and she didn't appear to be bleeding anywhere. It seemed as if his spell had saved her. Miss Lina, wake up, he pleaded, clearing the hair away from her features.   


There was no response and he held his fingers to her throat, finding her pulse thready and weak. He moaned and gathered her to him tightly, pressing his cheek against the dusty tangles of her hair. Despair reached up from inside of him and gripped his heart, warring with the fear he felt trying to overtake him. He was lost without her and he knew it. Miss Lina, he tried again, murmuring into her hair. Please wake up.  
She still did not reply, her limbs slack in his embrace. What was he going to do? His face twisted in sadness and pain, and he looked around desperately. If he didn't do something she might not make it. He really had no clue how to tell if a human being was going to die or not, not unless he killed him. His eyes scanned the books, wondering if he had time to search for a healing spell. He laughed bitterly at the thought. As if he, a former Monster, would have any idea how to call upon white magic even if he did read about it in a book. No, his best bet was to get her to a town as quickly as possible. Hopefully someone there would know what to do for her.  


Very carefully he gathered her up in his arms, making certain to support her neck and head. Her body was relatively light, and he let his gaze travel along the supple length of her slender limbs. Oh, his poor Lina. He hoped she wasn't in pain. Looking around one last time at the library, he ducked back through the door and floated upward through the crack he had made in the earth.  


Once on the surface he set her down long enough to lash his staff to his back and arrange his leather satchel, then gathered her up again. The nearest town was to the south, he believed, and just as well. He still couldn't put enough distance between him and the town Lina had taken him from. As his long strides carried them towards civilization his thoughts floated back to what had transpired after she had abandoned him. She had intended to abandon him, he knew that no matter how she might deny it. It didn't really bother him that she had wanted to escape him, but he desperately wanted to know why. Why had she left him in such a weak state?  


In the end it didn't matter, he supposed. He looked down into her face, thankful that there was no tension or pain in her features. He would hate for her to experience the agony he had felt while she was away from him. Oh, the priests had tended him well enough, and it had only been a short time before he had fully recovered. Once well, he really hadn't known what to do with himself, and had taken to spending his days sitting in the town square on a bench near the fountain, simply watching the populace in action. He hoped that by watching them go about their daily lives he could somehow learn what it meant to be human. Then the beasts had shown up, as he recalled they did from time to time in that region. What he hadn't recalled was the stupidity of masses of frightened humans. When the beasts appeared and began to slaughter the humans, they had immediately blamed him. He was the only newcomer in town, and didn't have a permanent home, employment, or even a last name. He had watched them come at him with axes and ropes, and was at a loss on what to do. Lina had left him, and he would probably never see her again. He knew that in order to fend them off he would have to use his magic, and then the awful void would confront him. He found that emptiness far worse than anything the humans could do. Therefore he had merely shut his eyes and steeled himself as the villagers rushed him beating him senseless in mere minutes. The next thing he knew he was hanging in the square, people pelting him with rotten food and rocks. Then the ravens had come, pecking at the morsels that clung to his skin and wounding him in the process. After a few days the beasts had gone away on their own, just as he knew they would, and the villagers, too, had abandoned him.  


Then Lina had shown up once again, turning his world upside down. Just when he thought he knew the way things were going, she upset them. It had always been that way, however, even when he was a Monster. He looked down at her, the delicate curves of her face pale in the sunlight. He had always known that she was attractive, but why he had wanted her was her passion. In fact, he wasn't certain he had ever really studied her before on the physical plane. A small smile passed across his lips as he gazed upon her, watching the wind play through her hair. Was she worth it? Was staying with her worth being mortal? Suddenly he wasn't certain the answer was no, and so he turned his eyes back to the road, shoving such thoughts from his mind.  


His physical body was much stronger and had far more stamina than he would have expected, but he supposed that thousands of years of using it had probably toughened it considerably. He still became tired after several hours of carrying her, and night would soon be upon them. The thought that he could cast a spell and speed their travel flitted across his brain, but he roughly shoved it away. He would use magic if he had to, such as to help Lina in her search or to save her, but he didn't want to encounter the void his Monster powers had left unless he absolutely had to. Stopping, he looked around, considering his options. He could speed their travel with magic, he could keep walking, or they could stop for the night. He hissed at the pain in his feet and the aches in his arms and back, and decided that walking was out of the question. There was a copse of trees nearby that would offer adequate cover and shelter. A glance at Lina told him that she would certainly have no opinion about their lodging, and so he adjusted his grip on her and strode off into the small wooded area. He gently set her on the ground and covered her with his cloak, quickly building a fire and fixing himself a small meal from the rations in his leather bag. As he closed his satchel he found himself wondering what had happened to the bag he had carried as a priest. The bag had actually been a portal into a sector of subspace, and he had some wonderful things stored in there. The space was unlimited as well, which would have served him well in his current situation. If he was capable of it he would have preferred to carry more generous meals, but there was no reason to be fretting about that now. Sighing, he packed up the remains of his supper and tended the fire, casting a concerned glance at Lina. If she did indeed have internal injuries in her skull he didn't want to leave her lying down. He was no expert on mortal anatomy, but he could envision the blood pooling at the back of her skull, leaving her dead for him to find in the morning. Choosing a tree near to the fire, he gathered her up, still wrapped in his cloak, and propped himself up. He positioned her with her head leaning against his shoulder, the rest of her cradled along his ribs and the inside of his hip, stabilized by his crossed legs. He gripped his staff horizontally with both hands and tried to get comfortable. With a sigh, he gazed down at her, watching with fascination as she breathed. Her body was warm and supple against him and he was suddenly filled with wonder. Lina was practically vibrating with life despite her condition, and he mused upon the puzzle that she was. She was fiercely alive, and he wondered for the first time if perhaps he could truly live as well. He smiled down at her and closed his eyes, pressing his lips to her hair and inhaling deeply of her warm scent. He wasn't sure if he could, but for her he would certainly try.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

She awoke slowly, feeling rather liquid and warm aside from the pounding in her head. Her back was stiff and something was poking her in the ribs and she groaned under her breath, disoriented. Feeling warm breath on her shoulder, she turned her head slightly and saw that she was being held up by Xellos' body. She was nestled securely in the crook of his shoulder, his arm passing behind her and to his front, where he gripped his staff in his sleep. His hair fell over his face, hiding his features completely, but she found herself somewhat hypnotized by the steady, deep movements of his ribcage as he breathed. His body, which cradled hers, was strong and warm against her, and she realized that she was also wrapped in his cloak. A gentle smile crossed her lips as she gazed at him tenderly, and she freed a hand. The morning air was cold on her skin, frost heavy in the day's breeze, and yet he had nothing to warm him but his thin shirt and her body. She reached up and ran the back of her hand underneath his heavy, silky hair, watching as the purple strands moved across her flesh like water. Slowly she grazed the skin of his face with her fingertips and shut her eyes, thinking how nice it was to be close to another human being again. It had been weeks, really, since she had been with Gourry, and she hated to admit it, but she had really missed the physical affection. Having a warm body near her was somehow comforting, even if it was Xellos. She shivered in the cold air and pulled her hand back, snuggling closer to him. He suddenly wrapped himself around her more protectively and she saw the glinting of his amethyst eyes underneath the deep shadows cast by his thick bangs. Are you cold? he whispered, not blinking as his eyes drank her in. I can restart the fire.  


She blushed and looked away, focusing intently on the branches above them. No, I'm fine, she said sharply. Where are we?  


We're in a copse of trees about six miles outside of Harmon, he said gently. How are you feeling?  


Like crap, she said, wincing as she tried to move.  


I'm not surprised, he answered, still not uncurling his body from around hers. You took quite a nasty hit yesterday.  


Damn rock, she snarled.  


He smiled down at her, cocking his head. I'm afraid I don't know any healing spells, so I fear that you're on your own.  


I can't cast anything for at least another day, she said softly. And I think my knee was injured when I fell.  


Well, we can have someone look after it when we get to town, he replied, shifting. In one fluid motion he gathered her up and stood, surprising her with his grace.  


How the hell are we going to get to town? she asked, struggling against his embrace.  


I'll carry you, he said simply, looking around as if to be sure he had everything.  


Like hell, she growled.  


He raised an eyebrow. How do you think you got this far, Miss Lina? he asked archly.  


Lina groaned inwardly. Oh great, human Xellos had a snappish streak. That was just what she needed. I refuse to be carried around like some kid! she protested.  


He smiled at her, but she found the expression anything but reassuring. His hands moved and she found herself bound even more tightly by his cloak. I'm afraid you don't have a whole lot of say in the matter, he said brightly.  


Damn you, Xellos! she growled, trying to escape and yelling she wrenched her injured knee.  


That was your fault, he said. Please, be still. I don't want you to hurt yourself even more.  


She opened her mouth to protest, but was stopped as he pressed his mouth to the crown of her head. A blush stained her cheekbones and she looked away. she murmured.  


he commanded gently. We'll be there in no time.  


Half an hour later they were staring down a mob of bandits. No time, eh? Lina growled. Hey, can't you see there's an injured woman present? she shouted at them.  


Please stand aside, Xellos said mildly. I must get this young lady to someone who can treat her wounds.  


We don't give a damn about her wounds, one of the men growled.  


You don't see a sorceress and a priest traveling together every day of the week, another said. You're bound to have something valuable.  


And even if you don't, we can always just take the girl!  


I'd really rather not fight with you, Xellos said. I'm in sort of a hurry.  


What are you going to do about it, priest? one said, and the other cackled.  


Why is it that bandit gangs are never original? Lina groaned, closing her eyes and shaking her head. And why do they never leave me alone?  


Xellos appeared to consider. Well, you do seem to attract these types of men, he said.  


Shut up! Lina shouted. I do not!  


Well, they're here, aren't they? I honestly have never encountered as many undesirables as I do when I'm around you, Miss Lina.  


Did I not just tell you to shut up? Lina screeched, struggling against his strong arms. Come here, bandit scum! I'll kill all of you!  


Now really, Miss Lina, you're hardly in any condition- Xellos began.  


You two talk too much, one of the bandits said, pulling out a knife.  


Come on, let's kill this guy and take the girl.  


Lina swallowed hard. There were a lot of bandits, and she was still unable to use magic. Why did small towns always seem to be plagued with bandit gangs? Go get em, Xellos! she cried, pointing at the largest man in the group.  


Xellos' brow furrowed and he looked down at her, eyes closed.   


Give em hell! she shouted, raising a fist in the air.  


he began, but then the bandits rushed them. Xellos dodged this way and that, deftly keeping her away from the points of their blades until they came to rest underneath a tree. Quickly he levitated and sat her on a branch, making sure she was steady. Please try not to put any pressure on that knee, he said softly.  


Hey, that's not fair! one of the bandits cried.  


Life's not fair! Lina shouted back with a sneer. You guys are going to get it now!  


Miss Lina, Xellos protested. He sighed, his shoulders slumping, and approached the advancing bandits. Please, gentlemen, he said. Can't we discuss this like civilized people?  


The man who appeared to be the leader laughed, planting his hands on his hips. Listen to the sissy priest beg! he guffawed, and a round of taunts rose from the bandits.  


That's rather uncalled for, Xellos said with a slight frown. Miss Lina, are you sure we can't just leave?  


Come on, Xellos, be a man! she cried from her perch in the tree. You can't be afraid of your own magic forever!  


  


Just do it! Listen, I know you used to feed off of fear as a Monster. Well, making people fear the mortal you can be just as fun, I promise. Just give it a shot.  


  


she warned from between clenched teeth.  


He sighed and scratched his head. Very well, he mumbled, and readied his staff.  


Oh, the sissy's going to attack us with a piece of wood! the bandit leader cried with a false swoon.  


Xellos held up his staff and examined it. What, this?  


The bandits pointed and laughed.  


Xellos shrugged. I can use this if you want me to, but what I was really going to use was this, he explained, pointing at the sky.  


The bandit leader looked up just in time to be instantly incinerated by a bolt of lightning. Why, you! one of the bandits screamed, and rushed Xellos.  


Lina shivered as a cold smile crossed Xellos' face, and he deftly dodged the bandit's sword, dancing nimbly back and forth as the entire group attacked him. He avoided their offensive so quickly and gracefully that it actually appeared that he was leading them in a dance. Slowly the crowd began to thin as Xellos wove back and forth, and finally his staff came up, rapping one of the men on the skull. The man fell and another took his place, Xellos blocking the sword with his staff. Lina blinked as Xellos struck quickly, hitting one fellow in the throat with his left hand while delivering a roundhouse kick to another attacker. He wound in and out of the bandits, striking quickly and then withdrawing before his enemies could launch a counter assault. Lina was very, very impressed.  


I didn't know that you knew how to fight like that! she yelled from the tree.  


Well, you do now, he called back, ducking a punch and bringing his staff up into the bandit's stomach.  


Hurry it up, she shouted. I'm starving!  


  


Can't you just blast them or something?  


Miss Lina, you know how I-  


You'll never get used to how it feels unless you start doing it more often! she replied, cutting him off. Just blast them already!  


Xellos looked at her and sighed, raising his hands into the air and bringing them down abruptly. Blast Bomb, he said, and the world exploded into fire. Lina screamed as she was blown from her perch, only to be caught by gentle, capable arms. Was that sufficient? Xellos asked, smiling down into her face.  


You almost killed me! she shrieked, smacking at his shoulder.  


Xellos chuckled. Miss Lina, I am beginning to think you are indestructible, he replied. The smile on his face softened somewhat. Besides, I would never do anything to hurt you, not now.  


Lina scowled and looked away, ashamed at how good he was at making her blush. she growled. Let's go get lunch and then find out where they hid their treasure.  


Ever the pragmatist, Xellos murmured, and sped along towards town.  


Would you like to find a healer? he asked as he strolled down the street.  


She lifted her head from his shoulder, where she must have fallen asleep. Eh? What?  


Would you like to have that knee taken care of?  


Lina considered, weighing the hunger in her belly against the pain in her leg. Let's eat first, she said.  


Xellos came to a stop and looked about, swinging her around so that she could see all the signs on the street.   


Lina's mouth scrunched up as she thought. I want beef, she declared, pointing at a sign.  


Very well, Xellos said with a chuckle.  


You're not gonna carry me inside! she said, struggling.  


But, Miss Lina-  


Just give me your staff and take my arm. I'll hobble in, but at least I'll do it myself.  


As you wish, he said, offering his arm. She latched onto it and half-hopped, half-limped into the restaurant. He seated her at a table and wandered off, leaving her to order. He returned shortly after the food arrived, but she barely noticed, so busy was she stuffing her face.

  
I found accommodations, he said, sitting down, The healer is on the other side of town.  


She put down her fork and took up her mug, drinking deeply. Wiping her mouth on the back of her glove, she scowled at him. And spend money on that when I can do it myself tomorrow? No thank you!  


Xellos sighed and pulled a plate to him, neatly beginning to cut his food into uniform pieces. If you're certain, he murmured.  


I'm absolutely certain, she said with a nod, and began to stuff herself again.  


After the meal, he gently helped her out of the restaurant. Let's go get that treasure, she said, holding her hand high and taking a step forward. She cried out in pain as a hot bolt of agony raced up her leg and collapsed, only to have her fall interrupted by Xellos' strong hands.  


I don't think so, he said. I can go after the treasure in a bit. First we need to get you comfortable.  


  


He pressed his finger to her mouth, shaking his head. Not for you, not today. We'll get you situated in the inn first. Then and only then will I leave you long enough to get your treasure.  


It's your treasure, too, she offered, feeling a little silly. She was getting used to being carried around, though. In fact, she leaned into him and decided to enjoy it as they made their way to the inn. He made their arrangements, surprising her by only requesting one room, although with two beds.  


You wouldn't leave me alone if I was injured, was all he would give her for an explanation, and she felt it was best if she left it at that.  


He took her up to the room, her arms wrapped around his neck, and carried her over the threshold as if she were a bride. She blushed as the thought passed through her mind, and squealed as he set her down on the bed. Now be good, he said, rising immediately.  


But I want to go with you! It won't be any fun here at all. What will I do?  


Xellos smiled and reached into his leather bag, pulling out a book. Read this, he replied. It's one of the books from the ancient library. I grabbed one at random, but it's bound to be interesting regardless. People back then had a very different perspective of things.  


She reached up and snatched the book out of his hands. You can go now, she said with a raised eyebrow.  


He chuckled softly and shook his head. I will return as quickly as I can, he replied, and left the room.  


She was still reading greedily when he returned, some time after nightfall. He shivered and tossed his cloak on a chair, setting his bag and staff beside it. Dinner will be up in a bit, he explained.  


She grunted by way of reply, fascinated with the ancient plant lore the book contained. It was no use to her against Monsters, but it was interesting nonetheless. Did you get a good haul? she asked absently.  


He sighed and sat down next to her on the bed, his skin glowing softly in the candlelight. I suppose. There was only about five hundred thousand in gold, and so I opted for mostly gems.  


We can make charms out of those later, she murmured.  


Miss Lina, what are you looking for in the libraries? he asked, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows.  


I'm not going to tell you, so you might as well stop asking, she growled.  


You're searching for spellbooks, aren't you?  


she snapped, and became even more tense when he laughed.  


he replied, sitting up. But if it's spellbooks you're looking for, you'd be best served by spending a few months around Lorander.  


What's Lorander?'   


A city of sorcerers that existed roughly eleven hundred years ago. The city disappeared suddenly shortly after the first resurrected piece of Lord Ruby-Eye was sealed away and never heard from again. The city was erased from all the maps, and no one has seen it since.  


The whole city disappeared?  


  


How does that happen?  


A very, very powerful spell. The inhabitants have long since died, but I imagine their learning and research are still intact. Lorander's library would have probably suffered less damage from time because of the spell as well, I would assume.  


Lina's heart leapt in her chest. Was this the chance she had been looking for? Would the answers to her questions be awaiting her in Lorander? Well, let's go! she cried, shutting the book she had been reading with a dusty clapping of pages.  


It's very far north, Xellos explained. It's also rather removed from any sort of town. Are you really so sure you want to go?  


she said. We'll see if I can heal myself tomorrow. Then we'll make a few talismans and charms and see what we can get for them. After that we'll head for Lorander.  


Xellos sighed and stood as a barmaid arrived with the food. If that's what you want, he said, taking the tray from the woman.  


I do, she said. Very much.  


Then I suppose I have no choice but to follow you, he murmured, handing her a piece of bread from the tray.  


I suppose you don't, she replied with a smile, and gently touched his hand.  


He stood silently as she glared at him. This is Lorander?  


Xellos studied the mountain in front of him. Yes, Miss Lina.  


Are you absolutely sure?  


Would I lie to you?  


She shot him a look full of daggers.  


Would I lie to you now? he sighed, wanting to just be done with the whole mess. She had been stalking around the area for a good half an hour and he wanted to either leave or press on. I never once lied to you, by the way, he couldn't resist adding.  


Not outright. You just hardly ever told the whole truth.  


That's still not lying, he replied.  


And you think that the city is inside this mountain?  


No, I think the city is the mountain, he said for the tenth time. The people of Lorander were great sorcerers. I doubt that they would have just slapped on a slipshod illusion spell.  


Lina reached out and touched the rock face. It feels real enough, she muttered. How do we get inside?  


Xellos smiled. I haven't the faintest.  


I thought you knew all about Lorander!  


I know all about Lorander before it disappeared, he explained, coming up to stand beside her. He had been traveling with Lina for most of the autumn, and in the northern country the citizens were already beginning to harvest their crops.  


Fat lot of good you are, she grunted.  


He raised an eyebrow. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here at all, he retorted.  


I might as well be somewhere else, for all we're getting accomplished, she snapped. If you're so smart then tell me how they could have possibly hid an entire city!  


Xellos raised his fingers to his chin, examining the situation thoroughly. Well, if I wanted to hide a city, I would do one of three things: cast an integrated illusion/barrier spell, destroy the whole thing, or create a pocket dimension.  


Pocket dimension?  


  


But I thought only Monsters could do such a thing.  


Generally that's true. However, dragons can do it too, and if I recall correctly, the ancient dragons were friends of the people of Lorander. Also, since practically everyone in the city was a sorcerer, it is possible that they were able to generate enough power to create one. However, such an effort could have killed everyone involved.  


Lina's face scrunched up in distaste. So, which do you think it is?  


Xellos put his hand to the rock, looking up at the sheer face of the mountain as his cloak whipped around him in the icy wind. My bet is on a pocket dimension, he said.  


That's all I wanted to hear, Lina said with a wry smile, and quickly recited the spell that activated the talismans she wore, the same talismans he had given her years ago. 

He took a step back and she called forth the Ragna Blade. Don't get too wild with that, Miss Lina. You don't want to destroy anything inside!  


I think I know what I'm doing, she snapped, and uttered a mighty yell as she brought the dark blade over her head and down again on the mountainside. There was a burst of light and the side of the mountain tore, leaving a dark gap about ten feet high and four feet wide. Rock fragments rocketed out of the tear, making them both run for cover. When the dust cleared, Xellos cautiously approached the opening. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside, extending a hand to help Lina across the rubble. When he looked up again he saw the same blue sky that he had observed on the outside of the mountain, but he was standing in a city street, tall, white buildings all around him. Lina moved level with him and gave a low whistle. Xellos turned and saw that the place they had entered the city used to be a building. He shook his head and Lina turned as well, her jaw setting stubbornly as she saw what he was looking at.  


Shut up, she growled. I was totally in control.  


He raised an eyebrow and she snarled. I don't suppose it matters now, he said. No one here is going to protest.  


Lina nodded and swallowed, and as they walked he noticed she was drawing steadily nearer to him, looking about suspiciously. It was then that he noticed it was eerily quiet. Is this place safe? she whispered.  


Would you stop looking if it wasn't? he asked.  


she said.  


Then it doesn't matter, does it?  


It does too. I like to know what I'm up against.  


Well, don't let the silence bother you. It's always been unnaturally quiet here. It's a small price to pay for perfectly preserved artifacts.  


Now you've caught my interest, she said, but clutched at the back of his cloak. 

He knew she was too proud to admit that she was afraid, but the truth of the matter was that he was a little apprehensive as well. After all, he didn't know what stories to believe. He supposed he was just going to have to wait and see. He did understand what was causing her mood, though. The air of the city was very stale and motionless, to be sure, but that wasn't a reason to be afraid. He turned around and took her gently by the wrist, bringing her close. Both of them stood perfectly still, surveying their surroundings. His eyes narrowed as he carefully studied every detail of the buildings around them, then he heard Lina gasp and back up into him.  


What is it? he whispered, bringing his staff up.  


I think you should go first, she replied softly, looking resolutely back towards the way he had come.  


I didn't think the great Lina Inverse was afraid of anything, he said with a half-smile.  


She scowled at him, glancing at him briefly. I'm not. I just don't want to die and have my beauty go to waste.  


He chuckled softly, the sound dying on his lips as he finally spotted what had unnerved her so. Several yards before them, leaning against one of the buildings, was a human skeleton. He very gently pushed her behind him and moved forward cautiously, kneeling by the bones and fingering the fabric of the clothes that still hung loosely upon the deceased. After several moments of examining the bones he stood with a sigh and turned to her. They appear to have died of something other than an attack, he said calmly, stroking her head with a gloved hand, watching as the fiery strands wound around his fingers.  


If you say so, she replied softly, looking up at him. He looked into her ruby-colored eyes and forgot to draw his next breath, so engrossed was he. His hand stopped in mid-motion, hovering less than an inch from her head as his entire world came to a halt. He stared at her, losing himself in her gaze, for what seemed to be an eternity. she asked tentatively, reaching up and gripping the wrist of the hand that had been stroking her hair. Are you all right?  


He blushed deeply, feeling the color run all the way down his neck from his cheeks. He couldn't believe he just totally lost it like that, wondering what it was that had passed over him. Shaking it off the best he could, he turned and smiled benignly at her. Oh, yes, he replied brightly. I'm doing just fine.  


she said with a concerned look, glancing from side to side.  


There's no reason to be apprehensive, he said gently.  


But there are skeletons all over the place! she protested.  


He looked around and realized she wasn't exaggerating. Remains of bodies were everywhere, some lying haphazardly in the street while some hung out of windows. Others were propped against buildings or structures, but all were still draped in their clothing. He left her side and levitated slowly, looking about him as his cape whipped in the wind created by his passing. When he was several hundred feet above the city he saw what he was looking for and promptly returned to her. There was a dragon, he told her. I knew mortals couldn't create a pocket dimension by themselves.  


Then what killed these people? Why didn't their clothes rot?  


He could tell that she was still ill at ease; her eyes were the size of dinner plates. Well, why shouldn't she be worried? They were in a place of ancient magic, after all. Of course, being several thousand years older than she was, he was in a better position to defend them against arcane spells should the need arise. I think that one dragon couldn't create and tuck away a pocket dimension this big without assistance. I believe that the mortals used up every ounce of their essences to help the dragon complete the casting. I suppose that over time, the dried-up husks of their bodies simply crumbled to dust, leaving the bones and clothes behind.  


That doesn't sound like a fun way to go, she murmured, creeping closer to him once again.  


It was relatively quick, he replied, face hardening as he thought about the fingers of death closing around his own soul. It's not something you need to worry about.  


That won't stop me, she muttered. This place is creepy.  


He shrugged, pressing onward. He really didn't remember the city very well. In fact, he wasn't certain he really remembered it at all. It was no difficult task, however, to imagine the streets bustling with mages and shrine maidens, all going about their individual tasks. Once again he wondered why the mortals bothered. For them it would all just end eventually one day. For him it would end someday as well. Sighing, he turned to face Lina. Well, if you want the books you'll just have to put up with the atmosphere, he said, trying not to speak too sharply. You try creating a pocket dimension and see how energetic your remains are.  


Yeah, yeah, Lina grumbled, following him and picking her way gingerly through the streets.  


he said, pointing his staff toward a large stone building. That should be the library.  


Her eyes sparkled and she immediately bounded toward the structure. This place is huge! she squealed. This will be great!  


He ran to catch up with her and pulled her to a halt by the shoulder. Not so fast, he warned, holding her in place as he stepped in front of her.  


What are you now, my guardian? she snapped, planting her hands on her hips and glaring up at him.  


I suppose, he replied, looking about. There's no one else capable of it.  


she grunted, but waited as he slowly climbed the steps. Reaching out his hand, he gave the old wooden door a shove, surprised as it swung easily on its ancient hinges. He cast her a backward glance and shrugged, then took a step inside. Immediately his eyes and nose were filled with a strange powder, choking him and driving him back inside.  


Diem Wing, he coughed, clearing the dust out of the passage before him. He continued to hack as he dropped to his knees, doubling over. It felt as if his lungs were going to come clean out of his chest. Soon Lina was beside him, a hand on his shoulder and looking into his face with concern.  


Are you okay? she asked, lowering her head close to his.  


It was rigged, he croaked, rubbing at his eyes.  


What was it?  


I didn't get a good look, he replied sharply. I was rather occupied at the time it was released.  


Don't get all huffy on me, she snapped. Are you going to be fine?  


he said, coughing again. Let's get on with this, shall we? With that he rose and forced one foot in front of the other, walking into the library. He felt Lina come up behind him and he gasped in utter awe at what lay before him. The library was all one gigantic space, several stories of bookshelves lining the walls. The stonework was all white marble and he couldn't even begin to guess how many books the place held. They all seemed to be in perfect condition as well.  


Lina said with a gleeful grin.  


I suppose, he said. Now what are you looking for?  


You look for whatever you want to, she said roughly. I'm going to search for something in particular.  


I'm aware of that, Miss Lina. However, if you told me what it was I could probably assist you.  


I don't need help, she growled, and wandered off, leaving him to spend the rest of the day browsing by himself.  


They camped outside the mountain that night and awoke at dawn the next morning, Xellos quickly gathering their things as Lina polished off breakfast. We're going to be here a while, Lina announced.  


Xellos stood, his things momentarily forgotten, and looked at her.   


Lina nodded, drawing circles in the dirt with a stick she had picked up. she replied. There's way too much information here to just stay a couple of days. I imagine we'll be here throughout the winter.  


Well, we might as well look today as well, he answered, resuming his task.  


She shook her head, still concentrating on the dirt. she said. I'm going to do this alone.  


Miss Lina! he protested, scowling. There's no reason at all I shouldn't help you.  


She wagged the stick at him. Actually, there is. Someone will have to tend the house while I'm away.  


What house?  


The one we're going to rent, she said smugly, her eyes glittering at him. I'm sure we can find something for cheap.  


All winter long?  


Sure, why not? There's more than enough books for me to look through. Besides, it'll only be a few months.  


But what am I supposed to do? he protested, too confused by her abrupt decision to really argue against her studying alone in the city.  


We'll figure that out later, she said, standing and brushing bits of grass off of her clothes. For now let's get to town.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Xellos followed along behind her all the way to the village, barely able to keep from muttering angrily under his breath. He didn't want to stay inside all season while she learned fascinating things. Now that he was human he should learn mortal spells as well, and he wagered there was no shortage of interesting castings detailed in the thousands of books in the Library of Lorander. It just wasn't fair. Then again, if his memory served him correctly, Lina was certainly not the champion of fairness. He glanced at her strolling easily ahead of him, the slight sway of her thin hips hypnotizing him momentarily. No, he was going to be indignant with her, and would not allow her to distract him. Absolutely no distractions, that was the way to go.  


Lina said, pointing to a tiny cabin several hundred yards off of the road. It was set back in the trees and he thought he could see the sparkle of water behind it. No smoke came out of the single chimney, and it was so far away that he could barely make out the cabin at all.  


What about it? he asked, shading his eyes and trying to get a better look.  


That's where we're going to live, she explained, looking around. The next farmhouse we come to should be the landowner's.  


He sighed and shook his head, knowing from years of experience that it would be futile to protest. He really hadn't known Lina to accommodate others.  


About half an hour later a small, tidy house came into view, and within minutes they stood on the porch, Lina rapping quickly at the door. An elderly woman opened the door slowly, peering at them myopically. Can I help you two young ones? she asked.  


Is that cabin to the north yours? Lina asked, gesturing with a thumb. The one next to the pond?  


Technically it's my son's, she explained.  


Lina put on her most charming smile and bowed slightly. Thank you so much, ma'am. You see, it's just the sort of thing we're looking for, and I was wondering if we could rent it for the winter.  


We usually only rent it to farmhands, the old woman replied.  


Well, my man here has a strong back and isn't afraid to work. Can you use an extra body in your fields?  


Xellos said, looking at Lina aghast. What on earth was she talking about? He blushed at her phraseology and scowled at the same time. He had never done true physical labor in his entire life!  


The old woman peered at him, adjusting her glasses. He looks like a city boy, she said after a minute. Are you sure he can withstand the work?  


Excuse me? Xellos said, totally blown away by the way he was being bartered.  


Oh, absolutely, Lina replied. He's a lot stronger than he looks.  


What's that supposed to mean? Xellos interrupted loudly.  


a gruff voice from inside called. Are they bothering you?  


There's some fellow here who wants to rent the house, the old woman answered.  


No, I want to rent the house, Lina explained.  


We only rent to farmhands, the voice from inside said, and a grizzled bear of a man appeared, his shaggy beard hanging partway down his chest. He looked Xellos up and down and shook his head. Sorry, son, he said. I don't know if you're up to the work.  


Xellos felt a hot flash inside of his chest and realized that his pride had been wounded. So they didn't think he could take the physical hardship, did they? Well, he'd show them. I can work just as well as anyone else you have out there, he said calmly. And I will do whatever is necessary to procure the aforementioned accommodations.

  
Come here, the big man said, grabbing Xellos by the wrist and pulling him over to a table set on the porch. He pointed at a chair, staring at Xellos from under shaggy brows. Sit down.  


Xellos raised an eyebrow and seated himself, throwing a glance at Lina. She shrugged and he rolled his eyes. Leave it to her to get him into some sort of situation. Now what?  


The man seated himself across the table and rested his elbow on the surface. Now we wrestle, the man said in a low, rough voice.  


Arm wrestle? You're going to determine my worthiness by arm wrestling?  


That's right, boy. Put er up.  


Xellos sighed and gripped the man's hand, anchoring his own elbow on the table. The man's forearms were like steel cables, and Xellos knew that he would not win with his human strength. If he had still been a Monster the match would have been no problem, but as it was he didn't know how he was going to win. All right, he whispered, and in that moment decided that nothing was going to stop him from winning Lina her cabin. But if I beat you I only have to pay one-half the normal rent fee. Does that sound fair?  


The grizzled farmer laughed. Boy, you either have brass balls, are incredibly strong, or the dumbest damn person I ever did meet. Are you ready?  


Xellos replied through clenched teeth.  


Then go, the man said, and Xellos threw his whole weight into the match. At first he seemed to be doing well, his arm holding up against the larger man's just fine. Then, as the minutes wore by, he began to tire. No, he found himself thinking as sweat popped out along his hairline. There was no way he was going to be bested in a contest by some bumpkin.  


I. . .will. . .win, Xellos snarled, and summoned magical power to him in a rush. He didn't even bother weaving a spell, just let the power fill him. With a cry he let loose his energy, slamming the man's fist into the table so violently that the surface cracked.  


The farmer laughed and pulled his hand away, massaging the knuckles. A sorcerer, eh? he chortled. Well, I suppose you've got the job and the discount. You did well anyway, without the magic.  


Xellos stood, cheeks stained pink as he glanced at Lina, who had a ridiculous grin on her face. Er, thank you, he said awkwardly, bowing a little.  


Mother, get this fellow the keys, the farmer said. Make yourselves at home. You start tomorrow, do you hear? Be here an hour before dawn.  


Xellos swallowed and nodded as the old woman pressed a key into his hand. I will be here, he replied.  


Lina said with a wave, wrapping her fist in the back of his cloak and towing him off of the porch. The old woman and burly farmer waved in turn, then disappeared back inside the house. Pretty good job you did, Xellos, she said with a sly smile.  


Thank you? he replied, unsure if she was serious or not, although he suspected she wasn't.  


Especially since you cheated, she grinned.  


He felt his cheeks burn once again. I didn't cheat, he protested. My magical energy technically is my strength, you know.  


she said, still smiling.  


It is!  


  


He sighed and shook his head. Well, you got the cabin, didn't you? he said testily.  


she crowed. Thanks bunches.  


Oh, you're welcome. Now you get to do interesting research while I get to slave away in the fields, he muttered.  


Hey, research is work, too, she snapped. Besides, you might like working.  


  


Some people like physical labor. It might help you get used to being human. After all, it's the mortality of your body that you're having a problem with, right?  


I suppose so, he agreed reluctantly.  


Well, working with your body might help you to feel a bit more centered, she suggested.  


he grumbled, and followed her in silence to the cabin.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Once they arrived she unlocked the door and cast a light wind spell to sweep the place out. Since it was nearly nightfall they lit a fire in the hearth and looked around, studying the place that would be their home for the next few months. The cabin was comprised of a single large room, with a few tables and chairs and an oversized bed in a corner. There were cooking implements and a rug before the hearth. Xellos sighed as he noticed the covering of dust on the bookshelves lining the western wall, but overall it was a clean, tidy little space.  


There's only one bed, Xellos said, looking about.  


So there is, Lina agreed, already setting out her pack rations on the table and preparing to eat. Hope that chair is comfy.  


Xellos turned and noticed an overstuffed chair by the hearth. I see, he grumbled. So, not only was he, the former general priest of Xellas Metallium, going to be a farmhand, be he also wasn't going to sleep in a bed for the duration of their stay. Just lovely. He sighed and shook his head, knowing better than to argue with Lina, and walked to the door just to the right of the hearth. Opening it, he was confronted with the edge of the pond not ten feet from him. Lina appeared beside him, peering underneath his arm.  


she cried, clasping her hands.  


For what?  


For a hot spring, silly! she said. A quick fireball to a body of water like that and bingo!  


And what about drinking water?  


Lina leaned further out the door. she said, pointing to a well about a hundred feet away.  


He sighed, utterly defeated. I'll see about getting a cot tomorrow, he said, turning and rummaging around until he found a kettle. Soon he was clutching a cup of tea as Lina stuffed her face behind him, lost in thought as he stared at the fire.  


Good night, Lina said, almost startling him as she put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  


Sleep well, he replied, still gazing into the flames as he heard her settle into the bed behind him.  


she said from the bed.  


He sighed and leaned around the corner of the chair. Yes, Miss Lina?  


She flashed him a soft look from where her head rested on the pillow, her hair rioting about her face. Thanks for helping me. I'm glad you're here.  


A genuine smile graced his face and he nodded. I sort of am, too, he replied as her eyes drifted shut, and continued to watch her for several minutes after she slipped off into slumber.  


The next morning he came immediately and violently awake, his hands moving before his eyes were even open. He stood with a growl and yanked what he'd caught, consciousness upon him fully at last. Lina's startled face looked up at him as his free hand moved towards her throat and he froze, blinking down at her. He gently released her wrist and took a step back, rubbing at the back of his neck as a blush crept up his throat. I'm terribly sorry, he murmured. It was just a reaction.  


Lina studied him carefully as she rubbed her wrist. Remind me not to wake you up ever again, she growled.  


He saw the way she was holding her wrist and rushed over to her, gently gripping her forearm and raising her hand nearer to his face before he could even think about it. Are you hurt? he asked, looking at her levelly. Did I hurt you in any way? Again he looked down at her milk-white skin, running his fingers over her flesh. A shudder wracked his body as her flawless skin slid beneath his, and he wondered what was happening to him.  


No, I'm fine, she murmured, looking away with pink-stained cheeks. You just startled me, that's all. She turned back to him and pointed out the window. But, if you don't get going, you're going to be late for your first day of work.  


He turned abruptly and stared out the window, horror breaking over him. He was going to be late at any rate. How far away was the farmhouse? Looking about, he snatched up his cloak, leaving his staff behind. Miss Lina, please take the utmost care if you should go to Lorander today, he warned, only satisfied when she nodded. Have a nice day, he added, and dashed out the door, donning his cloak in the chill air as he ran. He noticed some strange-colored dust upon the fabric, most likely from whatever he had been hit with upon entering the library the day before. If he didn't know better it looked like some kind of spore, but there was no way spores could have lasted a thousand years, even in a pocket dimension. Glancing again at the light faintly rising in the east, he cast a Ray Wing spell on himself and sped off towards his first day of work.  


He landed about five hundred yards from the farmhouse and ran the rest of the way, his boots pounding on the dirt road. The farmer and a fairly large group of men stood outside the house, apparently waiting. We were going to leave without you, wizard boy, the farmer grumbled.  


One of the other men looked Xellos up and down skeptically. This is who you hired? What's he supposed to do, bring us our lunches? He certainly doesn't look like he could lift a bale.  


Xellos felt anger rise up in him, an unfamiliar feeling. As a Monster he hadn't felt much anger, probably because he felt that he was beyond insult. Now, however, he found he felt he had to defend his pride quite often. I am fully capable of any sort of work you would assign me, he said flatly. Appearances can be deceiving, my good man. He narrowed his eyes and took a step forward.  


The man threw up his hands and shook his head. Listen, I don't want trouble with a priest or wizard or whatever it is you are, he replied. I didn't hire you and so I don't care what sort of work you do. All I want is my pay and to leave it at that.  


Xellos smiled at the man, his eyes closed, but the expression was empty of warmth. How nice to know that we'll get along just fine, he replied brightly. Oh, how he wanted to blast the man right then and there. He was finding that he had a loathing for life that he had never possessed as a Monster, and was more willing to destroy people now than he had then. The thought gave him pause, but only for a moment.  


Let's go, the farmer said, and they filed off into the fields in a line.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

After a month of uneventful days he felt like he was getting the hang of the work. He had turned out to be pretty good with the scythe, and his stamina was better than most of the other men. He attributed that to several years of running all over the planet after Lina. He set down his implement for a moment and coughed, aware of a scratchy sensation in his chest. It was strange, but it didn't hurt, and so he kept right on working, losing himself in the steady rhythm of operating the scythe as his working companion fell in behind him, gathering the harvested crop. They were nearly finished with the field and tomorrow they would begin to turn the soil for the following year. Let's take a breather, his partner said, and they both plopped down in the dirt, Xellos untying his shirt from around his waist and wiping his face with it. He pulled his knees into his chest and wrapped his arms around them, rocking back a bit and looking at the sky. The mornings were cold but the days were very warm, and after the first couple of sunburns his skin was darkening nicely. He hadn't known his skin could change color. He had never had a tan as a Monster. As he looked up he noticed the clouds were whipping by. The high winds might bring a change of weather soon, and he was glad that they were getting the crops out of the ground when they were. In fact, he was just glad in general. Sure, his body ached and was tired when he got home, but it was a good tired and a fulfilling sort of ache. He stopped rocking and stabilized himself as a thought occurred to him. Was he finally sort of enjoying being a mortal? Was he actually liking working as a human? He looked around at the harvested field and realized that yes, he did. He liked it very much, knowing that his work in harvesting would be appreciated by others. He also enjoyed being liked by the other humans; after the first day of hard labor they had silently given him grudging respect as they saw his skill with a scythe. Of course, he was used to hauling a staff around with him all the time, so wielding a scythe wasn't a whole lot different. Besides, he had always been a quick study. He sighed and pulled his hair back into a ponytail, readjusting his sweat cloth over his forehead.  


Pretty day, his companion said, rising.  


Xellos agreed sincerely, and took up his implement once again.  


The next day a group of them were hoeing near the road by the fence, only a few hundred feet out from the farmhouse. Some of the men were working the fields with horses to turn the soil, but some of the vegetable gardens needed to be turned by hand. Xellos had wondered how large a vegetable garden could possibly be as they set out, his jaw dropping as they only walked a bit before stopping. Several acres of vegetable gardens surrounded the farmhouse, and he groaned at the thought of turning all that soil by hand. His fellow workers didn't seem too excited about it either, but they bent to the task without complaint and soon the day was nearly gone.  


The sun was still relatively high in the afternoon sky when he heard a whistle from the road and looked up. Lina called, waving. He took a hand from his hoe and waved back, standing up straight and stretching out his back.  


That your woman? one of the men asked, all of them taking the interruption as an excuse to rest for a bit.  


Xellos blushed and cleared his throat. She's pretty, another said before he could reply. Real pretty hair. Don't see that color often.  


She's a tiny little thing, isn't she? his scything partner asked.  


Xellos agreed, smiling to himself. They wouldn't think she was so tiny and pretty if they had felt the awesome, awful strength of Lina's head lock.  


I prefer mine to be a bit more beefy up top, one of the other men added.  


Xellos winced, hoping that Lina couldn't hear the reference to her small breasts. I think hers are just fine, he returned gently. After all, if a woman has too much you're just going to end up spraining your thumb.  


I agree, the man standing nearest to him agreed. Don't need more than a handful, really.  


Xellos blushed deeply, unable to believe that he was standing in a field doing physical labor and talking about women with a bunch of other men. When had he become comfortable with his human lifestyle? It was such a far cry from where he had ever been in his life before that he had to laugh. The other took his laughter for agreement, and soon all of them were standing around, smiling. He grinned, closing his eyes, and shook his head.  


Go say hello to the pretty lady, one of the men said. We can manage without you for a bit.  


A happy woman makes for a happy home, another added, and the rest bent at their work.  


Xellos muttered, smiling at the man's wisdom. He could just imagine what sort of hell living with Lina would be if she wasn't content. He adjusted his grip on the hoe and walked over to the fence, smiling at her gently.  


How's work? she asked, leaning on the rail and beamed up at him.  


Oh, it's fine, he replied, looking up at the sky. Suddenly he was taken with a coughing fit, his slender body wracked with spasms.  


Are you okay? she asked, frowning and putting a hand on his arm.  


He glanced down at where her glove had come to rest, then watched her eyes travel up his biceps to his shoulder. Her gaze traveled across his tanned skin and down the cleft between his pectorals before quickly surveying his abdomen. He managed to catch her eyes and she blushed, taking her hand away quickly and looking in a different direction. A blush deepened the color of his sun-darkened face. I'm fine, Miss Lina, he said softly. In fact, it has been a long time since I've felt this...normal.  


She smiled at him, the expression genuine. she chirped. I was just wondering, since you never get home until late and don't talk much when you do.  


I'm too eager to sleep in that lovely chair, he replied with a wry smile, and she laughed.  


We really should buy a cot. I'll look into it in a moment.  


he asked, watching her eyes lick across his shoulders and stomach once again. He felt an odd surge of pride as she surreptitiously looked him over. He knew he had been physically fit before he started working for the farmer, but he was especially proud of his stomach and shoulder muscles. Most of the men he worked with were solid and strong, but a little soft around the middle, and he knew he cut a tight, trim figure.  


she said absently, quickly bringing her eyes up to his face. I'm on my way into town to order goods for the winter. We have a lot of room in that shed, and what I'm not filling up with books I'd like to stuff with food.  


he replied, lazily reaching out and grasping a lock of her hair, turning its silky length between his fingers.  


You've certainly gotten dark, she said, blushing faintly as she took her hair back. I don't think I've seen you in the daylight since you started work.  


I suppose not, he said, glancing over his shoulder. I should be getting back now.  


she said, casting a look over his shoulder. Have fun.  


he blurted, remembering. I won't be home this evening. We're going to go into town for a few drinks, since we get tomorrow off. Just leave a note with the innkeep at the Piper and tell me where to pick up whatever you bought today. I can have them deliver it with me tomorrow.  


She smiled at him and cocked her head. Thanks, Xellos, she replied, and moved off with a wave. Have fun!  


he replied with a wave of his own, watching her slender legs and slim hips as she walked away down the road. His eyes followed her for a few more moments, then he strolled back to the others and returned to work, his mind turning over the way she had looked at him for the rest of the day.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

What was wrong with her, she asked herself as she strode down the road. She had been practically drooling over Xellos the entire time he had been talking! She growled to herself and shook her head, not believing what an idiot she was. It was Xellos, after all, and he didn't look any different than he had before. Well, except she had never really had an opportunity to study him with his shirt off, and she hated to admit that she was impressed. He wasn't bulky like Gourry, but every single muscle in his abdomen and chest was well-defined, and he had a great set of shoulders. She wished he would walk around shirt less more often, and began to run over the appearance of his rear and thighs, wondering if they were as firm as they looked. He really did have a phenomenal rear, he always had. His skin was lightly tanned and healthy, and she wondered what it would be like to run a finger down between his amazing stomach muscles. She shook her head again. It was Xellos! Little fruity Xellos, who always annoyed the hell out of her! Oh sure, she had always had a thing for that fantastic hair of his, but who wouldn't? It was just so shiny and heavy-looking. He had probably reeled in lots of women as a Monster simply with his hair. She kicked a stone as she walked along, scowling at herself. Hadn't she gone on this journey to get away from men? Then what in the hell was she doing drooling over Xellos?  


She waved away her attraction with a hand. It was probably just that she had gotten used to physical intimacy with Gourry, and now that she was going without she wanted some action. Well, that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. Still, she didn't really fancy the thought of a beautiful woman like herself going through life with only one lover. A scowl immediately settled on her face and she ground her teeth. What was she thinking? She didn't want to deal with that sort of thing right now. After all, she was on a mission to find spells, and the Library was absolutely huge. She suspected that it would take her all winter to go through everything. Unfortunately a lot of the books were in languages she couldn't read, and so she had been bringing them back to the cabin and storing them there. She had managed to fill up a few of the bookshelves and had stored others in the shed attached to the house. Perhaps Xellos would take a look at them over the winter. He certainly wouldn't be working in the fields then.  


She wondered what it was he would do over the winter. If he didn't want to look at the books for her there was certainly nothing she could do about it. After all, how did one persuade Xellos to do anything? He was stronger than she was, both magically and physically, and while the latter didn't bother her, the former did. In fact, she was willing to bet that he was stronger even than Rezo had been. She wondered how he managed to retain so much strength after becoming human, but then again, she didn't know exactly how much power he had actually possessed as a Monster. It must have been quite a lot, she realized, and was suddenly very glad he hadn't ever presented himself to her as an enemy. She knew that he had practiced human spells throughout time as well, and it made sense that after thousands of years of that he would be a lot stronger than anyone else she knew. Yes, practice made perfect, there was no doubt about that.  


Before she knew it she was in town, wandering the streets of the small village. Luckily they had plenty of supplies, and she managed to exhaust nearly half of the money Xellos had taken from the bandits. She had her own stash as well, and could always send him out to kill more bandits if they needed the money. Heck, if it wasn't too cold out she'd probably just go herself. It wasn't the bandits she minded, it was the cold. Up in the mountains where their cabin was she knew it was going to be a bitter winter. Oh, how she hated the cold. Thank goodness that pond could be made into a hot spring with a well-placed fireball.  


As she walked through town she remembered to locate the Piper Inn. She left a note with the innkeep, then wondered if she should stay over herself. The memory of his hand upon her hair earlier that afternoon was still fresh in her mind, the muscles in his strong forearms rippling as he fingered her silken locks. Maybe she could wait for him in a room. . . Scowling at herself, she stormed out of the inn, ignoring the puzzled look the innkeeper gave her. There were so many times that she could have slept with Monster Xellos, and she had turned down every single one of them. Of course, she had been with Gourry then, and things had been different. Still, she had been used to the desire for her that always lurked beneath his cheerful, nonchalant exterior. She wasn't certain what sort of desire it was back then, but it seemed to have left the former priest. He didn't really seem to want her at all, on any level, at present. She knew he liked her and cared for her, something he hadn't been capable of as a Monster. If he didn't care for her he wouldn't have carried her all that way when she had been hurt. His concern and strength had really impressed her then, which is why she had allowed him to stick around. Well, that and the fact that she really was sort of worried about him. He seemed to be doing much better since beginning work in the fields, but she could tell his discontent was right below the surface. The suffering of being a human still hadn't left him, and she wondered when and if it might return.  


She made a quick stop into a store to purchase a cot, then revisited all the vendors she had bought things from, instructing them to have everything she ordered ready for shipment the next morning. She stopped for a quick bite to eat and picked up a few goodies that she could simply carry home, and then headed back to the cabin.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Xellos woke up the next morning with a miserable hangover. It seemed that his body didn't take alcohol as well as it used to, especially when he couldn't retreat to the astral plane to recover. He looked out the window of the inn and found that it was a beautiful day, if cold. A fit of coughing took him, shaking him to his very core, and he collapsed on the bed. His head was spinning and he felt nauseated, wondering if every hangover felt like this. At least he didn't have to work today. In fact, work over the next few days was purely voluntary, and then they were finished. All the work had been done, and it was a good thing, too, since they usually had snow on the ground by this time of year. Winter was nearly upon them, but they had finished in time.  


He stood and dressed, going downstairs and picking up the list that Lina had left for him, refusing breakfast. He most certainly was not feeling in top condition. Still, he was in relatively good spirits, and he decided to pick something up for Lina with some of his wages. He also had a fair sum of money on his person, having squirreled away some here and there over the months, selling some of the trinkets he still had on his him after all their adventuring. He was quite adept at making strong talismans, he discovered, and those sold quite well. As he wandered through town he spied a clothing store showcasing beautiful women's clothing. Stopping outside the window, he saw that the fabrics were all very fine and the clothes seemed to be well made. He felt a little strange going into a woman's clothing store without a woman, but he brushed off his unease and stepped inside.  


As soon as he was through the door he was assaulted by a little round woman with glasses. Can I help you, sir? she chirped, wringing her chubby hands.  


He looked about, wondering what on earth he was going to buy for Lina. I'd like to purchase something, he muttered, a slight frown on his face.  


For your wife? she asked, blinking up at him warmly.  


He blushed deeply and cleared his throat. Uh, sure, he mumbled, not really knowing how to respond. Sometimes it was just easier to let people think that they were right. That was something he had learned while being a Monster. As long as you let someone think that it was his or her idea, they were almost always willing to play along.  


She must be a very lucky lady, the woman said with an appraising smile.  


Er, thank you, he replied haltingly, nearly interrupted by a coughing fit.  


Are you all right? the woman asked him.  


he wheezed with a wave of his hand.  


Then how about this? she said, reaching into a rack and pulling out the smallest piece of clothing he had ever seen in his life. It looked to be incredibly form-fitting and was made entirely of lace. He seriously doubted it would even cover Lina's torso. The thought of her standing before him, naked except for that tiny piece of clothing, nearly gave him a bloody nose.  


Something. . .warmer would be nice, he spluttered, desperately trying to drive away the image of Lina dressed in the lacy outfit. She enjoys the hot spring outside of our home, but I don't want her to freeze between the water and the house.  


The little woman's face fell and she shuffled over to a different rack. So you'll be wanting a robe, then, she said, her plump hands rifling through the clothing. How about this?  


He came over to her and ran his fingers over the sleeve. The fabric was nearly half an inch thick and was extremely soft. The cloth was a deep maroon and would look stunning with her hair. He could imagine the robe would feel very good against the skin after a dip in the hot spring, and would absorb the moisture as well. She should be very warm in the robe. I'll take it, he said.  


What size?  


Xellos felt the blood drain from his face. He had no idea what size she was, and she'd kill him if he brought back something too large. Too small wasn't good either; no matter which way he went, she'd think he was mocking her. It needs to be a perfect fit, he told the shopkeeper.  


Of course.  


But I don't know her size.  


The plump woman sighed and pushed her glasses up on her nose. We have a bit of a problem then, she muttered. Well, how tall is she?  


Xellos considered, then indicated a place just below his collarbone. And she's about so big around, he added, making an oval with his hands placed apart. I imagine she weighs about a hundred ten pounds or so.  


Oh, so she's a little thing, then, the woman said, turning back to the rack. You two must make a splendid pair. Of course, with a man like you it'd be hard to look bad,  


Excuse me? he asked, confusion furrowing his brow.  


Well, you're so tall, my dear, and very handsome. Just look at your forearms and hands. I'm sure she's a very fortunate lady.  


Xellos still wasn't entirely sure what she was going on about, so he just smiled and nodded. I hope so, he replied. Thank you very much.  


The woman pulled a robe from the racks and folded it deftly, leading him over to the counter. Shall I wrap it? she asked, and he nodded, looking around bashfully and handing over the required coin when prompted.  


Thank you, he said brightly, and she waved.  


Come again! she chortled, and he walked out of the shop.  


Once on the street, he looked down at the packaging of the robe. It was bright pink and stood out like a sore thumb against his dark clothing. Can't wait to carry this through town, he muttered to himself, and pulled out the note Lina had left for him. He nearly sweatdropped when he saw all the things she had purchased, and silently thanked whomever was listening that she had arranged for it to be shipped.  


I'm home! he said, opening the door. Please, just unload everything right here. I'll be sure it gets put away, he told the driver of the cart.  


Sure thing, the man replied, hopping down from his seat. Xellos pressed a few coins into his hand and went inside.  
he said, sticking his head into the room, pink package under his arm. He blinked, not seeing her anywhere. He took off his boots at the door and stepped into the cabin, wondering where she could be. Surely she was home from Lorander by now; it was nearly nightfall. he called again, then saw that the back door was slightly ajar. Going to the window next to the door, he looked outside and his mouth opened slightly. Lina was bathing, her back to him. Her smooth, pale skin seemed to shine in the fading sunlight, her hair catching the sun's rays and seeming even more fiery than usual. The slim curve of her shoulders moved as she leaned back in the steaming water, and he found himself wanting to join her. Blushing, he moved away from the window and dashed to the front door, waving down the man unloading the cart. Please, don't go around to the back, he told the man. My wife's bathing.  


Gotcha, mister, the man said, and unloaded the rest of the things in the front of the house.  


Xellos pressed another coin into the man's hand and watched him go on his way down the road. When he turned back into the room he saw Lina standing by the back door, wrapped in a towel and giving him a strange look. Wife, eh? she said acerbically.  


Xellos blushed and grinned, putting a hand behind his head. Well, that's just what they started calling you, and it seemed too complicated to explain. Besides, people are more helpful when they think they know what's going on.  


She raised an eyebrow. Oh, really, she said testily, taking a step forward.  


He blanched and quickly pulled the package from underneath his arm. Here, I got this for you, he blurted, brandishing the gift like a shield.  


Her eyes lit up and she snatched it from him. For me? Thanks! she cried, ripping into the paper like a child. He leaned against the door, hand on his chest and panting, as she tore open the present. She pulled out the robe with a smile, eyes shining as she looked it over. It's so soft, she murmured, unfolding it. It's beautiful. She tossed the paper on the floor and slipped into the robe as he held his breath. It was the moment of truth. It fits perfectly! she sighed, smoothing it down the front. How did you know what size to get?  


He almost told her that he asked for the size for the boniest women, but stopped himself just in time. I just asked them what size the most beautiful women wore, and that's what they gave me, he replied smoothly, smiling. He really was pleased that she liked it.  


It's great, she murmured, still examining it with wonder. No man's ever given me a present before.  


I'm very happy you like it. I wouldn't want you being cold this winter, he said.  


She came over to him and stood on her tiptoes, slipping her arms around his neck. Thank you, she said. It looks great on me.  


Ah yes, there was the Inverse humility he had come to expect, he thought with a grin. He closed his eyes and inhaled the smell of her warm skin, enjoying her closeness. You're most welcome, he said, voice low, and sighed as she released him. I need to see to the things outside, he added, and took a step towards the door. His body shook with a fit of coughing and he leaned against the door, suddenly feeling dizzy and weak.  


Are you okay? she asked, putting a slender hand on his shoulder.  


I think I just had too much to drink last night, he explained. I don't think my mortal body is very good at tolerating alcohol.  


She backed up and looked at him suspiciously. she said. I'm going to get dressed while you're outside, so don't come barging in.  


He smiled. I know better than that, Miss Lina, he replied, and slipped out the door.  


He was finished shortly after nightfall and returned inside, taking his boots off with a sigh near the door. Lina was humming as she stirred a kettle over the fire, totally ignoring the wood stove right beside the hearth. He sat down in a chair beside the table and began to cough again. 

she asked, setting out a couple of bowls.  


Not particularly, I'm afraid, he replied. I really feel quite strange.  


She set down the bread she was holding and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, eyes going wide as she did so. My god, Xellos, you're burning up!  


he asked, feeling faint. He had thought that the sweat pouring off of his body was an effect of all the heavy lifting he had just finished doing.  


she replied, scowling. Here, drink some water.  


I really don't want to, he began.  


Drink it, she snarled, setting down a glass in front of him.  


He smiled and downed the water, which only made him feel worse. What's going on? he asked her, becoming afraid.  


Oh, you're only sick, she replied nonchalantly, but he could see the worry behind her eyes.  


I've never been ill before, Miss Lina, he said, dread stealing over him. He could actually feel his body starting to weaken, and the sensation of bodily decay slowly began to creep over him again.  


It's no big deal, she said, returning to the kettle, but he noticed she kept an eye on him.  


He slumped into his chair and sighed, thinking of how he had learned to ignore the fact that his body was dying every day. Now he was confronted with it once again, and all the old agony came pouring back so violently that he couldn't even react. I can't be sick, Lina, he croaked, vision swimming. I can't take it.  


she snapped. We all get sick once in a while.  


But why? Why am I falling ill?  


How should I know? she said, taking his bowl and filling it with a bit of soup. Try to eat something.  


He tried and a few moments later rose, staggering out the door and into the woods. He vomited what little he had eaten into the bushes and crawled back towards the house, collapsing. He saw a light out of the corner of his eye and turned his head, cheek pressed to the cold dirt as snow began to fall around him. he heard Lina call, but could not answer her. It was like the time before, shortly after she found him, when he wanted so badly to die. Would he die this time?  


Lina shouted, coming out of the house, which was where the light he saw was coming from. Her footfalls padded lightly across the soil until she knelt beside him. Xellos, are you all right?  


He shook his head and rolled facing away from her, curling into a tight ball as his stomach twisted in agony. A gasp of pain escaped him and he clutched himself more tightly, sweat beading on his face.  


Lina struggled to get her arms around him, unable to get a grip because of his writhing. Come on, she growled, finally hooking her hands in the waist of his pants, her cold knuckles digging into the burning flesh of his lower back. she hissed, hovering a few inches above the ground. She managed to get him inside and onto the oversized bed, spreading him out on the mattress. He groaned and tried to roll away from her touch. Letting him go, she ran outside and plunged her towel in a bucket of icy well water, dragging it back inside and dabbing at his skin. She washed his face, hands, and feet of dirt and stripped him of his shirt and socks, worry etched across her features. Grabbing his bare shoulders she tried to force him flat on his back, straddling his narrow hips. He groaned and thrashed beneath her, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.  


No, no, no, he muttered over and over. I don't want to die, I don't want to, not like this.  


You're not going to die, Lina snapped, pressing him down with difficulty.  


It hurts, it hurts almost as much as it did when I woke up on the road.  


Shh, shh, I'm sorry, she murmured as his convulsions quieted.  


he moaned.  


Gee, my soup wasn't that bad, was it? she said with a halfhearted smile.  


He grunted and his mouth curled slightly, but it was all the amusement he was capable of showing. It felt like his inside were being twisted by heated hands and he didn't know how he was going to bear it. He tried to focus on something else, anything else, and failed to get past the pounding in his skull.He began to curl up on himself again, but Lina wouldn't have it, lying on top of him to keep him stretched out.  


I don't think this is a normal illness, she said, face inches from his.  


He was having a difficult time focusing on her features. It hurts, he whispered against her cheek.  


I know, she murmured. I'll do what I can. She rose off of him and rocked back on her heels, extending a finger and placing it on his forehead. she murmured, and he knew no more.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

She sat in a chair by the bed, watching as his face contorted in agony in his fever-dreams. Having done what little for him she could, she studied him carefully, searching for any sign of what the cause of his illness was. He wasn't thrashing about like he was earlier, and her sleep spell seemed to have helped a bit. At least he wasn't in danger of hurting himself with his wild movements. She leaned forward in her chair, resting her chin on her steepled fingers as she watched the rise and fall of his muscular chest, his skin shining with sweat. The linens would have to be burned after this, she was sure of it. Sighing, she reached out and smoothed the strands of his dark hair out of his face, gently fingering his heavy, silky locks. It was every bit as wonderful as she had suspected his hair would be, and she tentatively ran both hands through it, shutting her eyes as it flowed through her fingers like water. The planes of his beautiful face were marred with lines of agony, and her insides ached as she realized what sort of pain he was going through. He had been coughing for quite a while now, but that was the only indication of the oncoming illness. His temperature was through the roof and she kept wiping him down with the cool towel, but nothing seemed to help. She wished she had paid more attention to remedies throughout the years, but she really didn't know how to help him. She didn't even know what he had. All she knew was that it definitely wasn't normal.  


She settled back into her chair and stared at him, eyes narrowed. It had come on so slowly. He had felt ill that morning, if she recalled his words correctly, but had thought it was part of a hangover. Well, he had probably never been hung over before, and so had no way of telling if that was actually the problem or not. Still, for something to come on so suddenly and with such force was almost unheard of. Only parasites and the like took so long in incubation and then hit en masse, all at once. . . Of course! He must have something like that!  


She leapt up from her chair, pacing around the room as she stroked her chin. Yes, it almost certainly had to be something like that. But where could he have picked it up that she wouldn't have it as well? She hadn't been coughing, or sick in the least. As she thought about it, she realized that he wouldn't have been coughing unless something was up with his lungs, and the only way something could be wrong with his lungs was if he inhaled something. He must have inhaled something that she hadn't. Her mind raced, trying to figure out what exactly it was, and then it hit her like a ton of bricks. Lorander- he had come into contact with a cloud of something in Lorander! Yes, it was when he entered the library ahead of her. A cloud of spores or something had been disturbed and he had walked right into it. Something occurred to her and she went to the row of coat hooks on the wall, searching for his cloak. He had taken to wearing a heavier one since starting at the farm, and so his old cloak should still be in more or less the same condition it had been in when they first visited the library. Pulling it out, she carried the cloak into the light and spread it out on the table, looking up to check on Xellos every few moments to make sure he was still breathing. His pained noises made her insides blanch, but at least as long as he made them she knew he still had strength. She pulled over some candles and studied the fabric of the cloak intensely, finally locating some sort of strange pollen-looking stuff after a few minutes. Pulling a pair of tweezers out of her travel pack, she carefully removed some of the weird dust and put it on a sheet of paper. When she thought she had enough she put the cloak away and sat back down, careful not to disturb the paper.  


She opened up the book of ancient plant lore that Xellos had taken from the first library they explored and began to wade through it, convinced she had seen that type of pollen before. Pulling out a magnifying glass she had picked up the previous day, she carefully studied the dust, noting its spiny yellow ridges. She paged through the book until she found the picture she was looking for. The author had made some sketches that looked very similar to what she had sitting on the piece of paper before her. Strange, the book listed all sorts of curative properties right off the bat. It wasn't something that should be making Xellos sick. Sighing, she sat back in her chair, thinking back to Lorander. She had been there nearly every day since they first discovered the place, going through the massive amounts of books. Never again had she encountered any strange dust or pollen. It was most likely set as a trap. So, why would anyone set a trap for intruders in a library in a place sealed in a pocket dimension?

  
She scowled down at the book and began to fix herself some tea, pondering. Well, in her explorations she had come to realize that the city had once been a very busy, bustling place. Xellos had said that he thought the bodies had had the flesh burned off of their bodies by the expulsion of power, and for the most part she thought he was correct. There were many adult bodies in key places of the city that had seemed to have undergone the same sort of death. However, she had seen things he hadn't. There were a great number of skeletons in beds, and several places in the town had been turned into what looked like makeshift infirmaries. Remains were all over the place, and the skeletons were just as clean as those who had obviously died from power burnout. So, hundreds of people had died in a city of skilled sorcerers, and the city had then been shut away. What was the real reason the city had been hidden? Was it to protect the secrets inside, or to keep the rest of the world safe from what the city held?  


She reached over to one of the books she had brought back from Lorander, checking the date on the inside front cover. It was written a full three hundred years before the book of plants that Xellos had given her. She had also managed to get a few books published around three hundred years after Lorander from a couple of the other libraries they had ransacked, and so she began to cross-reference.  


It turned out that the pollen she located in the first book belonged to a plant that was very popular in healing tonics of the time, and as she followed the usage of the plant, she found a very small, scribbled line in the margins of one of the books. The pollen is not to be confused with the cysts of andronicae morphismi. May have disastrous results, she read aloud. Scowling, she rifled through the pages of the more recent books, searching for the strange name. About an hour later she found it, only to be interrupted by some loud groaning from the bed. Sighing, she tended to Xellos for thirty minutes before he finally calmed down, and when she returned to the books she was badly shaken.  


It was hard to concentrate again at first because his condition seemed to be deteriorating even more rapidly, and the images of the ghostly infirmaries from Lorander haunted her. Something was very wrong, and she had the feeling she didn't have much time to fix it. She placed her finger on the page and began to read, her innards turning ice-cold as the words settled in. The pollen of the healing plant could be mistaken for the cysts of a monstrous parasite, as had once happened in a city whose name had been erased to keep medical explorers away for all time. The tragedy was not to have been repeated. Her stomach seemed to sink into her feet and she sat back in her chair, floored. The citizens of Lorander had eventually realized what was happening to them and given up hope. They booby-trapped the library to keep their information safe, and then sealed themselves up to keep the rest of the world safe from them. Then Xellos had sprung the trap and was paying dearly for it. Reading further, she snarled as no details regarding the epidemic appeared. She took the book and flung it across the room, the heavy leather binding landing with a smack on the floor. She nearly jumped up to make sure the book was all right, since such an old volume was certainly irreplaceable, then sat back down heavily. Of course no information was given, and without information how was she supposed to help Xellos?  


She sighed and put her forehead in her hands, blinking down at the table. There was only one thing to do: go back to Lorander and see if any sort of cure had been noted. The city had been sealed away before all the people had died. Certainly someone would have recorded something about the parasite. Hold on, she whispered to the man in the bed, and blew out the candles, curling herself up in the cot.  


The next morning she left at dawn, slogging through the several inches of snow that had fallen during the night. She hated leaving him alone while he was so ill, but she really had no choice. If she wanted him to live then she had to search for a cure. She wrapped her cloak more tightly about her and bared her teeth to the wind, finally giving up and casting a Ray Wing to get her over the snow and to Lorander more quickly.  


Within no time she was in the city, throwing her cloak aside the moment she entered the pocket dimension. There was no snow in the city, nor any other change. She passed the Library, heading straight for what seemed to be the main infirmary. It appeared to her to have served as offices at one point in time, and so if any records would have been kept on the illness, it would have been there.  


It took her nearly all day to wade through the piles of manuscripts she found. No wonder the Library was so huge- the people of Lorander seemed to enjoy writing lengthy, boring pieces. Finally, however, she stumbled across what she was looking for. Slight progress made today, she murmured. The administration of the snow-flower seems to help the patient considerably, allowing spells to be cast to the monsters inside. The parasites appear to be some sort of carnivorous worm, but can be killed easily with a purgative. It is getting the purgative to stay inside the body long enough that is the trick- the worms to not allow for any fluids or substance to remain within the body for any length of time, she read aloud, eyes searching the scroll. She read further, but nothing else on the paper seemed to be of any use. What the hell was a snow-flower? And carnivorous worms? She shuddered at the thought. The reason Xellos was in such pain was that the cysts had finally released the young worms, which were then burrowing into the soft tissue of his organs. She winced, nearly losing her lunch at the thought. Yes, that would hurt plenty. To think that it was all because of her! Once again, she was the reason for his fall. First he had fallen from immortal to human because of her, then from mortal to dead. It seemed she was bad news for him. Well, she might not know what a snow-flower was, she decided, returning her thoughts to the present, but she sure knew how to find out. Stuffing the scroll into her belt, she dashed out of the building and down to the Library.

  
She was glad she had spent so much time in the immense building over the past weeks, otherwise she wouldn't have understood the filing system and been able to find the books she was looking for so quickly. She yanked a few volumes off the shelf and sat down on the floor, reading frantically. It seemed that the afflicted only had a day or two to live before the worms succeeded in liquefying all internal organs and eating the host. Then, if she understood correctly, the worms would then create new cysts, which would wait in the ground for a strong wind or storm to come up and disperse them to new hosts. Shivering, she paged through the books, finally finding a sketch of the flower. It was apparently a sort of daisy that grew in the mountains during the winter, the only flower to thrive in the cold. When its stems were crushed into a fine powder and inhaled, it had the effect of slowing internal processes, basically numbing everything. That must be how it worked- it would numb whatever sort of nervous system the worms had, making them sluggish enough to allow a purgative to be administered. Slamming the books shut, she left them on the floor. She would be back, after all. Now that she knew that the cysts entered the host through the mouth and nose she could take measures to prevent her own infection. She ripped off a piece of her shirt and held it up to her face, running to leave the city.  


She tumbled out of the dimensional tear and cast a quick illusion spell to make it appear as if the mountain were whole again. She incinerated the fabric she had held against her face with a fire spell and dashed off up the mountain. It was probably cold enough for snow-flowers to grow, and they had to have thrived close by if the people of Lorander could harvest them. She climbed for what seemed like hours, until, sheltered in a pocket of rock, she found what she was looking for. There were only half a dozen flowers, and some hadn't even bloomed yet, but she took the lot and flung herself into the air, making a beeline for the cabin.  


Once at home she quickly took Xellos' pulse, frowning with concern as she found it weak and thready. His breath was coming in short bursts, although is color was still good. She was just hoping she could expel the worms and break the fever before he died or sustained brain damage. Rushing to the table, she quickly pulverized the stems of the flowers, mixing them with a few other herbs she knew to aid in dulling the nervous system. Going over to Xellos, she realized she really didn't know how to make him inhale the powder. Well, she didn't have time to be gentle. She gathered an ice spell in her free hand, holding the other close to his mouth and nose, and touched her icy hand to his bare stomach. He gasped at the change in temperature, and in went the powder. She dusted the remainder off on her pant leg, hoping it would be enough. Rifling through her things, she found a bottle of purgative and poured it down his throat. She threw his winter cloak over him as he began to splutter and convulse, dragging him outside into the night with the last of her strength. He had been ill for two days. She hoped that it wasn't already too late.  
She rolled him onto his side, stroking his back as he choked and coughed, and she could only pray that the treatment was working. Come on, she whispered into his ear, kneading his work-hardened muscles. Come back to me, Xellos.  


He made a whimpering noise, then began to vomit violently onto the snowy ground. There was a fair amount of blood, she noticed with distaste, but it seemed to be working. His body expelled vomit for a good ten minutes until he heaved with no result. She held his hair back as he trembled, hoping the worms hadn't gotten any farther down than his stomach. She didn't think they would have in only two days, but she also didn't know if she was that lucky. After several minutes more she began to shiver, and so dragged him out behind the house. He was unconscious, but she was not going to put him back in bed all filthy, and so she cast a quick fireball into the pond and dragged him in, fully clothed. She propped him up against some stones, making sure he wouldn't slip into the water and drown while she was inside, then went to the back door, undressing by the cold hearth and tossing her clothes aside. She ripped the linens off of the bed and took them with her over to the fireplace, igniting the logs with a simple spell. Once the fire was roaring, she wrapped herself in her robe and slipped on some wool slippers, stepping out into the snow. A quick glance at Xellos told her he was okay, and she went to the side of the house, incinerating the bed sheets completely. Returning to the pond, she threw in another tiny spell to bring the temperature up even more and slipped out of her own clothes, sliding into the water naked.  


She waded over to where Xellos was situated, keeping herself in the warm water as much as she could in the shallow pond. Leaving him propped up, she reached down and resolutely relieved him of his trousers, telling herself that a clean person was a healthy person, and there really was no other way to get him clean. She unhooked his arms from the rocks and eased him down into the water, his muscles hard beneath her hands. She blushed and was grateful for the darkness that prevented her from seeing into the water. She had only pure intentions, but she knew she couldn't have helped but look. It was just one of those things she had always wondered about Xellos. His weight was easier to handle in the water, and so she leaned his back against her bare breasts, running her hands over his smooth skin to rub away the days of sweat that had accumulated. 

Cradling his head in the crook of her elbow, she lowered the back of his skull to the warm water and gently began to wash his hair, trying to keep his face a reasonable distance from her chest. His hand accidentally drifted between her legs and she jumped, nearly dunking him. His wet skin slipped between her fingers and he began to slide, her hands grabbing at whatever she could to keep him from going under. Reaching around him, she took a good fistful of his rear and hauled him back into her lap, blushing deeply. She was certain she was a dark shade of maroon, but she also felt satisfaction in knowing that she was right. He really did have the most amazing ass she had ever seen. In fact, now that she had him in her arms, she realized that she had always judged him unfairly when he was a Monster. Oh, sure he had been nice and tall, but she always thought he was just a skinny fruitcake. Now his hard muscles slid easily against her skin, and she knew she had sorely underestimated him. No matter, she told herself, ladling water onto his hair with a cupped hand. Soon he would be bathed and put back to bed, and she would never have to confront him like this again. As she smoothed his bangs back his eyelids fluttered open slightly. She froze and he blinked. She sank beneath the water immediately, but knew that he must have gotten a perfectly good view of her bare chest. he whispered, stirring weakly.  


she said quietly, trying not to be sharp with him. Go back to sleep.  


He opened his mouth to speak, but she saw his eyes roll back in his head and he suddenly went limp in her grip. She blushed, realizing he was unconscious again, and sincerely hoped that he didn't remember any of this when he woke up.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

He came awake slowly, the flickering of the firelight on his eyelids the first thing he noticed. His head felt fuzzy and he did not try to move, instead settling on opening his eyes. The past few days had been the most horrific he had ever known. In his dreams he had relived every second of having his astral form ripped away from him, his nerve endings raw, and feeling his body decay. The decay had been heavy recently, and he wondered briefly if he had gone mad. Death had seemed to run through is veins instead of blood, and he had heard oblivion calling. He wondered if it mattered if he lived anymore. He was deciding that living was too painful. Whatever he had come down with had felt like it was eating him alive, keeping every cell of his body in pain and on fire every second of every day.  


He frowned slightly and squinted toward the fire. The sheets were clean and soft, and he smelled good, as if someone had bathed him. He was dressed in a pair of clean trousers. He dimly recalled Lina caring for him, and he wondered if the feeling of her hands all over his body had been a dream or not. He wasn't certain that he wanted it to be a dream. Just the thought of it made him warm, and he stirred slightly in his bed. He had honestly not wanted to die, and she was the reason. Being alone had never bothered him before. In fact, he had spent most of his existence as a Monster being alone and traveling alone. Now that he was mortal, however, he found the presence of other humans comforting or even pleasant, the company of Lina best of all. He had been so horribly alone and isolated the past few days, abandoned with his illness and pain, and he suddenly wanted the isolation to go away, to feel another human being close to him.  


His eyes finally became accustomed to the dim light and he spotted her, sitting on her heels by the fire. She had her back to him, and was only wearing a towel wrapped around her torso. A large book was open across her lap, her hair shining in the firelight as if it had just dried. He recalled the feeling of her skin against his and realized that was what he wanted. If he could just touch her he wouldn't feel so alone in the world. Silently he stole from bed, still very weak from his illness, and crawled up behind her, sitting on his knees just inches away from her back. Slowly he reached up and gathered the heavy mass of her fiery locks in his hands, lifting it to his face and inhaling. He felt her body stiffen, but she sat perfectly still. He could tell she was aware of his every move. Gently moving her hair over her shoulder, he leaned forward and pressed the side of his nose to her bare neck, inhaling the scent of her skin deeply. She sighed and leaned into him, her hands going slightly slack on the book. His heart began to pound inside of his chest and his cheeks burned as his hand reached up and lightly traced the curve of her shoulder. He closed his eyes at the feel of her smooth skin beneath his fingers and he nuzzled her ear. A silent shudder wracked her body and he was aware of her breathing quickening. Her legs drifted a bit farther apart, and he gripped her gently around the waist from behind. Gathering his nerve he let his lips lightly graze where her shoulder joined with her neck. He had wanted to do this to her for years, why was he so nervous? As a Monster he had nearly succeeded when they were celebrating Amelia's recovery, so why was his heart pounding inside his chest? Was it because he knew of his physical prowess as a Monster, but was untried as a human?  


He bolstered himself and ran his tongue lightly up the side of her neck, tasting the lower curve of her earlobes as he pulled her to him. A soft noise escaped her throat and the book fell off of her lap. Her hand reached up and gripped the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him to her. He closed his lips on the soft flesh of her neck and sucked gently, feeling her tremble against him. The heat within him rose and he reached around to her front, slowly undoing the fold that held her towel up and letting it rustle into her lap. He took her ear between his teeth as she pressed herself against him more tightly and let his fingers run down the silky, firm plane of her stomach, tenderly fingering her shallow navel. His breathing ragged, he spread his legs and inched closer to her, rising slightly as he moved his mouth over her shoulder to her collarbone. His heart seemed to stop as his hands hovered uncertainly above her bare breasts, but then she arched against him and he gently placed his hands on them. He hefted her high, firm breasts tenderly, nuzzling her neck. he whispered, pressing his lips to curve of her jaw. She rolled her head to expose more of her throat to him and he slowly moved his hands over the surface of her small breasts, pressing his palms against her pert, rosy nipples. Letting out a great sigh, she arched and spread her legs even more, her breathing coming in short bursts.

  
He moved one of his hands down the expanse of her firm thigh, slowly bringing it in between her legs and grazing the tendon at the top of her leg. He hesitated a moment, waiting for her to protest, then lightly ran his fingers over the hair between her legs. Leaving her pelvis alone, he reached up and lovingly fingered her ribs, reveling in feeling them expand and contract underneath his touch. She was so fabulously alive, and she was letting him participate in that life.  


Suddenly she turned to face him, her cheeks blazing, and looked him straight in the eye. He paused, uncertainty racing through him, and then he removed his hands entirely. He rocked back as she stood, her towel falling to the floor completely. He looked up at her and felt something twist inside of him. She was so lovely, with her strong body and blazing eyes, her hair falling about her in silken, fiery waves. She simply stood and looked down at him, allowing him to take all of her in, and for a moment he felt his confidence leave him entirely. He treasured this woman to the very core of his being, and now he wanted to be one with her. He wanted to take her to the stars and leave her breathless.  


He joined her in standing, his eyes never leaving hers as he towered above her, then smoothed her hair off of her shoulders with the back of his hand. She stood on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. It was then that he closed his eyes and gathered her into his strong arms, his lips tentatively seeking out hers. He tasted her skin and then kissed her tenderly, warmth spreading throughout his whole body as if her kiss were a fine liquor. He felt heady and suddenly could not get enough of her. As he kissed her deeply he felt her arms unwind from around his neck and drop to his waist, where she released the drawstring of his pants and let them fall to the floor. He broke the kiss and looked down at her, breathing hard and heart pounding madly as he realized she wanted this, too. She looked down at him and he blushed as she saw the state he was in, feeling slightly embarrassed. It seemed unfair that it was so obvious how badly he wanted her. She smiled up at him coyly and ran her hands down his chest, gently flicking his navel, then reached around behind him and gripped his buttocks, pressing him to her. He gasped as he came in complete contact with her skin, then bent and kissed her passionately. With one fluid movement he picked her up into his arms and stepped out of his trousers, smoothly carrying her to the bed and laying her down. Her hair rioted across the pillows like waves of flame and she spread her limbs, smiling up at him. He stood for a moment more, taking in the simple beauty of the clean lines of her body, then crawled on the bed to kiss her. He tentatively slid his tongue into her mouth and she made a soft noise, opening her jaw to better accommodate him. After a moment he broke the kiss and began to nuzzle her neck, tracing the curve of her throat with his tongue and moving down to her chest. He took one of her rosy, velvety nipples into his mouth and began to suckle, eyelashes grazing the skin of her chest while he lowered himself between her spread legs. She arched against him and pressed his head to her more tightly. He switched to the other breast and felt her gasp, her eyes closed and head thrown back as he tasted her. She moaned and arched against him, and he decided it was time.  


He pushed himself off of her and looked down as her eyes met his. He searched her face and gaze for any signs of hesitation or uncertainty, or anything at all that might mean that she didn't want to do this. The last thing he wanted to do was make her unhappy. She smiled up at him languidly and raised her hips, and he smiled tenderly back. Very slowly he entered her, his whole body trembling with awe as their bodies melded. When he was completely inside of her a shudder wracked his body and he looked down at her, seeking any sign that he had caused her pain. She gave a great sigh of pleasure and arched against him, and he smiled as he lowered himself onto her, feeling her legs wrap around his hips. He spread her legs wider with his own and began to move against her, exhaling with bliss as her nails dug into his back and she moaned. His dark, thick hair moved across her shoulders as he slid easily inside of her, and she snaked her arms around his neck, actually pulling herself off of the mattress. He rose onto his hands and knees, anchoring himself on one arm and holding her to him with the other, picking up speed and depth. She gasped and tilted her head back as he did so, and he made a small noise himself, reveling in the glory that was Lina. She ground her hips against his sharply and he pushed himself against her firmly, earning himself another gasp. He felt the rapture grow inside of him and he panted as he increased his speed even further, making her cry out. Her fingers clenched the back of his neck and she arched her back as he moved rhythmically against her. Then she convulsed with a mighty cry, her muscles spasming around him, and dropped back onto the bed, moaning and panting. Her body trembled and her cheeks were flushed with her eyes squeezed shut, a look of absolute elation on her face. He had never seen anything so beautiful in the thousands of years of his existence.  


He drove into her harder, racing to catch up to her, and clutched at her hips, changing. the angle of his thrust. He crouched over her, moving against her as quickly as he could and feeling the fire in the pit of his abdomen grow brighter. She grunted and half-sat up, clutching his rear and pulling him into her as far as he would go, making a raw cry leave his throat. His threshold loomed and he tumbled over it, pleasure and amazement washing over him at the same time. His muscles clenched and unclenched as he emptied himself into her, taking almost more enjoyment from the pleasure on her face than in his own feelings. She held him inside of her long after she was finished, and he planted his hands on his hips, looking down at her with a gentle, contented smile. She leaned back on her elbows and looked up at him, panting. His smile broadened and she growled at him, using her legs to topple him onto her. He laughed as she grabbed him on either side of the face, taking fistfuls of his hair and pressing her mouth to his.  


After she was finished kissing him he finally withdrew from her, rolling onto his side and gazing at her with adoration. His long, shapely finger traced the curve of her collarbone as he smiled at her, contented. She snuggled down into the pillows, tucking her arms behind her head. After a while she looked over at him devilishly. So, you're feeling better, I take it, she murmured.  


He sighed and stretched against her, reveling in the feeling of her soft, warm skin against his. I think I'm cured, he said.  


she said with a smug smile. Are you glad you trusted me?  


You saved me, Lina dear, in more ways than one, he replied softly, snuggling against her. By the way, what was it I had?  


She waved a hand in the air, watching his fingers draw lazy circles on her stomach. Oh, just the flu, she replied nonchalantly. Nothing to worry about.  


He shuddered against her and buried his head in the curve of her shoulder. Well, thank you, he murmured.  


She rolled him onto his back and rested her head on his chest. No problem, she whispered in return. If that's the way you thank me, remind me to save you more often.  


A laugh escaped him, his first truly genuine laugh since becoming human. Oh, Lina dear, I think I found something that's better as a human than a monster. Honestly, it has never felt quite like that before.  


Not for me, either, she muttered against the skin of his chest. I'm glad that you've finally found something.  


As am I, he replied, gathering her into his arms and smiling against her silky hair. As am I.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

He felt her stir beside him and his eyelids fluttered open, watching her wake up. She yawned and stretched, brushing against him, and instantly froze. He raised an eyebrow and looked at her, wondering what was going on, when a foot planted itself in his midsection, pushing him out of the bed. He hit the floor with a thud, yelping as the cold wood hit his bare skin. He jumped up, dancing from one foot to the other on the freezing surface as Lina let loose a scream and a barrage of spells. A gasp escaped him as he desperately cast spells to contain and dissipate hers, hoping that she would calm down quickly. he shouted, whirling about naked. It's just me!  


she said, pulling the sheet up to her neck and blinking at him.  


He grabbed the nearest thing he could find and covered his groin with it, blushing furiously. Good morning to you, too, he said archly, reaching down and slipping on some woolen socks.  


Lina looked at him and snorted, eyes beginning to water, and then broke out into raucous laughter. Good morning, Xellos! she guffawed, slapping the mattress with her free hand.  


Xellos frowned and looked at her, putting a hand on his hip. What's so funny? he asked sharply. The first thing you do upon waking is kick me, nearly unmanning me, and then you laugh about it?  


I didn't mean to kick you, or hurt you, she giggled, cheeks rosy. I'm sorry, really.  


Why? What did I do?  


You didn't do anything, she snickered in between chuckles. I just didn't recognize you at first, and didn't want some naked stranger in my bed.  


You've known me for years! How could you not recognize me?  


Lina collapsed backwards, still laughing. I'm sorry, I don't wake up well, she chortled.  


He exhaled sharply, suppressing the desire to stamp his foot. What's so funny?

  
She shook her head and wiped her eyes, still quivering with laughter. It's just perfect, she replied. You standing there, obviously peeved, wearing nothing but wool socks and a dinner plate.  


Xellos looked down, apprehension scrawled across his features, and saw that what she said was true. He must have cut a ridiculous figure. You want to laugh? he said, raising an eyebrow, his eyes glittering dangerously. I'll make you laugh.  


What are you doing? she gasped, backpedaling to the corner of the mattress and pulling the covers all the way up to her eyes.  


You'll wish I had stuck with the dinner plate, he growled, setting the dish down and using all his strength to jump onto the bed. She squealed and tried to move away, but he ripped the sheet off of her and tackled her, tickling her ribs, stomach, and anywhere else his fingers found. Her whole body shook as she laughed uncontrollably, her mirth mingling with his as he attacked her. Are you sorry you laughed? he chortled. Are you sorry?  


Yes, yes! she cried, giggling. I'm sorry.  


You're what? he said loudly, pretending not to hear.  


I'm sorry! she shouted, squealing as he renewed his efforts. Finally he gave up tormenting her and collapsed onto the bed next to her, closing his eyes and smiling. That's more like it, she said.  


That's my line, he replied.  


She sighed and crawled over him, immediately dressing. Well, I've played around too much, she grumbled, the cadence of her voice still happy.  


he replied grudgingly. Sure, he had finally something worth being human for and she had to up and leave.  


I'll be back this evening, she explained, pulling on her boots.  


He pulled the sheets up around him. Is there anything in particular I should be doing?  


She shook her head as she pulled on her winter cloak. Not today. I'll be bringing home some books for you to look at, though. They're not written in languages I can read.  


I'll await your return, then, he replied. Do be careful, Miss Lina.  


She shot him a smile and opened the door. I will, she murmured, and then was gone.  


He woke up after nightfall, growling at himself for his laziness. He supposed it was normal to sleep an entire day away after being ill, but he still hadn't wanted to be abed all day. He wanted to tidy up a bit and perhaps tinker with some cooking, since neither were Lina's strong suits. Instead, however, he opted for a bath. He wrapped his winter cloak around him and stepped into the snowy night air, shivering as she approached the water's edge. One well-placed fireball later he was soaking in the water, sighing as his muscles relaxed. He still felt tired after the trauma of the previous days and the night before's activity, but at least it was over and he could work on rebuilding his strength. He splashed water with his fingers, gazing up at the dark, snow-filled sky. It wasn't as thrilling as being a Monster, but he supposed he could get used to being human, especially if he was with Lina. He didn't really know how he had managed to seduce her the night before, but he found himself wishing desperately he could do so again. He wouldn't want to have her tire of him, though. If he had his way he would take her and make love to her until dawn, but he wanted it to be her decision. After all, she cared more how she spent her time than he did.  


He was still musing on the night before when he saw the lights in the cabin go on. Lina had come home. He heard his name being called and a grin spread across his face. Casting a quick wind spell, he created a sphere and encased himself in it, lying flat on the bottom of the pond. The water had already cooled significantly, and so she shouldn't notice the temperature change. Still, he wasn't sure she wanted to be around a constantly-naked man and wished briefly that he was wearing something, but it couldn't be helped. Besides, who knew what would happen. Lina was unpredictable, for the most part. He still had a pretty good feeling that she would be along at any minute, once she didn't find him inside.

  
he heard again, the sound muffled by the water, and he held perfectly motionless, barely daring to breathe inside his bubble. A spell was launched, heating the water up significantly. A few moments later a set of pale toes broke the surface of the pond and she slid the length of her body into the water. He let himself drift toward her, finally dissolving the bubble when he was only a few inches from her. Slowly rising from the water, he snuck up behind her.  


Lovely weather we're having, he murmured into her ear.  


Lina shrieked and whirled around, fists flying. He barely managed to dodge a punch and laughed madly, drifting to the opposite side of the pond. she growled. You scared me half to death!  


He held up his hands, hoping she didn't decide to just blast him then and there. I'm sorry, he said. I just couldn't resist. Besides, you would have done the same if you were in my shoes.  


she said with a snort, covering herself with her arms.  


He shook his head and sighed. Would you like some tea? he asked, pushing over to the shore nearest the cabin.  


she said, looking away with a blush as he crawled out of the water and quickly threw on his cloak.  


He reappeared a few moments later with a tray, which he set upon a rock before sliding back into the water. He waded over to her and handed her a cup, pouring her tea carefully. he asked, offering her a bowl. She raised her eyebrow and took some, immediately setting the cup down. Something wrong? he asked, stirring his own tea.  


What did you put in it? she asked, glowering at him.  


He cocked his head. Nothing, I assure you, he said, leaning against the stones and sipping from his cup.  


Are you sure?  


Of course, he replied, watching as her eyes traced his chest. Some sort of thoughts were running through her head, and he would have paid to know what they were.  


she said, drinking her tea in silence, keeping her eyes on him the entire time.  


He sighed, a little put off by her distrust. Oh sure, he had done some questionable things in the past, but he had been a human for several months now, and she should have known better. So, how was your day? he asked, moving closer to her and studying her face.  


It was fine, she muttered.   


Would you like me to scrub your back?  


She examined him for a moment, then sighed. Why not. Go for it.  


Turn around, he said, producing a cloth. She looked over her shoulder at him, but did what she asked, arms still clasped across her chest. He took the cloth and began washing her, his strong hands applying just the right amount of pressure. She sighed and leaned into his touch as he traced the groove of her spine and lovingly followed the curve of her shoulder blade. he asked, and she nodded. He smiled and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning his head against her back. His cheek pressed against the warm, bare skin of her shoulder blade, his breath stirring the water that was only a fraction below his lips. He held her like that for a long time, feeling as if she were the only rock he had to cling to in the tumultuous ocean of life. Life was hard, very hard, and he even had someone like her to comfort him. Being mortal was so different, so lonely, compared to being a Monster. As a Monster he had a constant connection with the entire astral plane, always aware of the others moving about upon it, but there was no such sensation as a human. Each mortal was trapped into his or her body, disconnected, for the most part, from the rest of the world. It was so very lonely. His body trembled and he clenched his jaw, cleaving to her as if it was the end of the world.  


She turned in his embrace and pressed his head to her chest, slowly stroking his hair and not saying a word. He squeezed her tightly and relaxed, listening to the beating of her heart. The steady expansion and contraction of her ribs as she breathed comforted him somewhat. After a few moments he felt somewhat stronger and gently released her, moving through the warm water to sit on the rock ledge at the edge of the pond. She disappeared beneath the surface for a second and reappeared next to him, her eyes only shadows in the snow-filled night. He shivered as the snowflakes fell upon his wet hair, sitting lower in the water to stay warm. Floating over, Lina put her hands on his knees, looking into his face. It isn't so bad, is it? she whispered. Being human?  


It used to be worse, he murmured. But it will never be the same.  


Some things shouldn't stay the same, she breathed. Life is about change, even for an immortal.  


He held his breath as her slippery body slid into his lap, her arms snaking around his neck. She buried her hand in the thick hair at the back of his head and pulled his face to her, sucking on his lower lip. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, gingerly putting his hands on her hips as she wrapped her legs around him. He could feel her pressed against his pelvis and began to react, clenching his jaw against her kiss. Her hair hung around them like a wet curtain, curling over his shoulders and chest as she moved her mouth to underneath his ear. Her water-slickened fingers traced the taut lines of his chest, her palms moving over his hardened nipples. His grip on her tightened and she reached between his legs and gripped him, eliciting a moan from deep in his chest. He leaned his head back and rested it on the snowy edge of the pond, breathing rapidly. She braced herself on his chest and leaned forward, running the tip of her tongue over his Adams apple. Reaching down, she unwrapped his arms from her waist and slowly took his hands, raising them and placing them on her breasts. She put her hands on top of his and pressed them to her, kissing him and sliding her tongue into his mouth. He smiled gently around the kiss as he realized that it was her turn to seduce him. He began to move his hands on her body, wondering if this was what it meant to be a mortal man. As far as he could see, there really wasn't much of a difference between mortal men and women other than their bodies, unless it was a difference that the human race decided to create. Still, if this was what it meant to be a human man, he was fine with it.  


She must have had enough of her game, because as he mused she lifted her hips above him and drove herself downward. He sat up stiffly with a cry as she drove him to the hilt. His whole body seemed heavy with heat and he sank down lower into the water, his mouth barely above the surface. She gripped his shoulders tightly and sighed as she swiveled her hips slightly. He nearly choked on the water as she began to move on top of him, his conscious thoughts melting away as his entire attention became focused on what was happening between their bodies. Why did this particular woman have such an effect on him? He knew that even if they had done this when he was still a Monster it would have been different than with the others. She ripped a cry out of his chest as she ground against him and it was all he could do just to hold onto her hips beneath the water. She gasped against him, her breath warm where she pressed her cheek to his temple, and increased the tempo, a soft sound coming out of her with every movement. He exhaled sharply as he finished, holding her hips against him tightly as she thrust them forward and followed his lead, falling against him and resting her forehead on his shoulder. Lina panted there for a minute or two, then pushed herself away from him, floating lazily through the water. He put his hands to his face and rubbed his skin, not entirely sure of what had just happened. She was a strange one, that Lina Inverse. Xellos was wondering if she had just used him for her own comforting, and for the first time it occurred to him that there might be more to this little hiatus of hers.  


As he sat against the edge of the pond, the water cooling around him and the last ripples of lovemaking euphoria fading, he wondered what her true objective on this journey was. She had needed him to aid in finding the libraries and would have him translating things for her shortly. The fact that she would take for granted that he would simply do her bidding and that she would just allow him free access to whatever it was she was looking for rankled a bit. He was still stronger than she was, and perhaps she wasn't showing his power the proper respect. Sighing, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sharp contrast of the cold snowflakes and warm water. Well, he wasn't about to make her fear him. He wasn't interested in losing whatever it was he had at the moment. Still, there was something more to this than her research. He knew, for example, that there had been something going on between her and the blonde swordsman. The thought of Gourry made something sharp and angry rise in the depths of him, and he realized that Lina must have been sleeping with the man. Not that bothered him now, particularly. She was his, for the moment, by her choice. Still, he had smelled the swordsman on her in the past, and he wondered why she had left him. He was happy for it, but it didn't make sense. He narrowed his eyes as he watched Lina crawl out of the pond and make a mad dash for the cabin. A lot of things about her situation didn't make sense. Had she really loved Gourry, and if so, why did she leave him? Even more interesting was the question of why she was making love to him if she did still love the large blonde. And what was she searching for up there in the mountains? What knowledge lay in the Library that she needed to leave all she cared about behind? Sighing, he waded over to where the tea implements from earlier sat and climbed out of the pond, desperately wrapping his cloak around him and trotting to the cabin. He didn't have the answers now, but he would, by all that the world held sacred, he would.

After supper, which had come late, Lina immediately retired, climbing into the large bed and curling up. He cleaned up and readied the fire for the duration of the evening, slowly moving about and putting things in their place. Honestly, Lina was so untidy. Oh well, he supposed there were worse things to be, and it wasn't like he really had anything else to do. He was ready to retire himself when he realized that he didn't know where he was supposed to sleep. The bed looked much more comfortable than the cot, but Lina was already there. Even after the hijinks of the past two nights, he wasn't sure if it wouldn't be presumptuous of him to just crawl in next to her. Well, she had initiated that particular evening's entertainment, even if she hadn't said a word to him throughout dinner. In fact, she seemed rather embarrassed about the whole thing. Perhaps he was better off sleeping in the cot. Still, the bed was much cozier, and it would be warmer as well. He knew how much Lina hated the cold. Well, he would give the bed a shot. He made sure the drawstring of his sleeping pants was well-tied and began to lower himself onto the mattress. Oh, no you don't, she growled, eyes still closed.  


Well, so much for that plan. He rose and shuffled over to the cot, arranging the blankets to the optimum softness, and settled down for the night. He thought, right before sleep claimed him, what a confusing beast Lina was, and then dropped off to dream about her.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

He awoke the next morning to find her already gone. She had restarted the fire and left the mess from her breakfast all over the place. Sitting up, he groaned as he stretched out the kinks the cot had put in his back. He threw on an extra shirt and his woolen socks and padded across the room, setting the kettle on the fire. A glance out the window told him there had been significant snowfall during the night, and he worried about Lina for a moment. She really did hate the cold. Well, she could Ray Wing over the deep patches, and once she got to Lorander she wouldn't have to worry about the weather. As far as he could tell, Lorander's pocket dimension was completely static. It made him wonder how his little home pocket dimension was faring without him.  


Sighing, he went about cooking his own breakfast. It took him far too long to do so, and he had no idea what he was doing. Everything was far too crispy, and he kept finding long strands of his own hair. He shook his head and ended up throwing most of it out. By the time everything was cleaned up and put away, he realized that it was close to mid afternoon. He had slept far too long that morning. He made the cot and even straightened Lina's bed, sweeping the entire place out. When he was finished it looked quite presentable. The only thing that hadn't been tidied was Lina's side table, the one where she did her reading and piling of books. He went over to the table and sat down, prepared to just shut and shelve all the volumes, when he noticed that several of the books were open to similar subjects. An old scroll, close to disintegration and deeply creased, even sat to one side. Curious, he looked everything over and realized that all the books were talking about the pollen of some plant. Of course he recognized the plant, he remembered that there had been a brief frenzy about it around a thousand years ago, shortly after the whole War of the Monsters' Fall business. The flower was nearly extinct now as a result of that frenzy, which had actually lasted a couple of hundred years. Since its medicinal properties had been largely forgotten once the plant became scarce, however, it was probably making a comeback. He sighed. Such things went in cycles, he had come to realize, and they were easy enough to see if one lived long enough. He left the books open in case he was able to make sense of what was going on and refer to them later when he saw a scribbling in the margin of one of them. It was something about a parasite, cysts, pollen, and epidemic. He scowled, something tickling the back of his brain, and unrolled the old scroll carefully. Winter-flower, eh? That was a strange plant, but its use made sense in light of an epidemic. It put the body in a state of pseudo-stasis, deadening nerve endings and motor activity. Wait, was the epidemic the margin had talked about the same discussed in the scroll, and where had the scroll come from? He frowned and shut the books, shelving them, and took a last look at the scroll. Lorander. Everything had happened in Lorander, which was probably one of the reasons the dragon had helped to seal the city. Still, why would Lina have been looking for this sort of information? He pressed his lips into a tight line, knowing that there was some connection he wasn't making. Well, it would come to him eventually, and in the meantime he knew that there was even more that Lina was keeping from. Well, let her keep from him whatever she wanted to. He understood what it was like to have secrets. Perhaps the best-kept secrets were the secrets best kept. Besides, she was a human, and although he was as well, he also had centuries upon centuries of experience at discovering information. In time he would know everything.  


Lina entered the room violently, the door banging off of the wall as she stood in the doorway. The snow-laden wind whipped into the room and he paused in his cooking, staring at her. She growled at him and lurched into the room, slamming the front door behind her. She stamped her feet on the floor and took off her snowy boots. Um, bad day? he asked, setting down the knife and wiping his hands on a towel. He walked over to where she sat next to the door, unwinding a scarf from around her neck. Standing before her, he crossed his arms over his chest and inclined his head to the side. Different emotions warred within him, something he had never really experienced before. One the one hand he wanted to take her by the shoulders and force her to tell him everything. However, he could understand that a person had things they wanted to keep private. He also wanted to take her into his arms and soothe away all her anger, frustration, and fatigue, but he didn't dare do that. Lina had never hauled off and slapped him, but he wouldn't put it past her. Besides, she had confused the matter by taking him the night before and then leaving him to sleep alone. Which he could also understand, in a way. He had never spent the night with any of his past copulation partners. It made sense that she had just wanted sex and then a good night's sleep. What was frustrating was that he didn't know what she really wanted or what she was actually thinking, and as such had no idea what to do about it.  


Awful day, she growled. This is getting ridiculous. I spend all damn day going through books, and hardly any of them are spellbooks! You'd think a city full of damn sorcerers would have had a few spellbooks lying around.  


He nearly reached out for her then, but restrained himself, rather surprised he even had the instinct to want to comfort her. He had never felt such things as a Monster. I'm sorry, he said. I'm making dinner, if that helps.  


I'm starving, she grumbled, standing up and dumping her snow-laden cloak on the ground. That doesn't help my research.  


He went and picked up her cloak, hanging it on a hook, then stowed her boots and other garments she had discarded. he said, putting away the scarf, You could always try checking people's personal libraries as well. Or perhaps there's a specific magic library. Honestly, it was a little too long ago for me to remember very clearly.  


Maybe I'll try that, she muttered, sitting down on the bed and pulling off her socks. He returned to the table and dumped the chopped vegetables into the pot, stirring slowly. Checking the recipe, he was dimly aware of her moving about the room, and then became completely absorbed in the soup's directions. He really didn't want to mess up the meal, especially if she was in such a foul mood to begin with.  


The soup was fine, he decided as he lifted the wooden ladle to his lips, closing his eyes to better focus on the taste. Yes, it would do. He reached up under his kerchief and scratched his skull, wondering if he should put a little more pepper in. At least this time he had remembered to gather back his hair before cooking. Lina shouldn't have any complaints over dinner this go around. Speaking of Lina, where had she gone?   


As if answering his thoughts, the back door creaked slowly open, a cold gust of wind blasting through the room. Lina appeared, quickly shutting the door behind her, ice already forming at the ends of her hair. She pulled the robe around her more tightly and shivered. I hate the cold, she snarled. I don't know what possessed me to rent a cottage this far north.  


He tapped the ladle on the side of the kettle, turning his attention away from her long enough to see that the soup didn't boil over. I believe it was because you wished to be closer to the Library of Lorander, he murmured, stirring their supper slowly.  


I didn't actually want you to answer me, she muttered, and he could hear her slip out of her shoes and pad across the floor, coming closer to him.  


My apologies, he replied. Supper will be ready in a moment or two. I just want to be sure that the potatoes are soft enough.  


He heard her laugh behind him. The first time I ever saw you cook I thought we'd all die from the stench.  


Well, it was a recipe designed to kill dragons, he said with a chuckle. I hope my skills at feeding humans have improved since then.  


she mumbled, and he could hear her rustling.  


Lina dear, would you prefer wine or water with your meal? he asked absently, looking about for a potholder. He waited for an answer, but she didn't volunteer one. Turning around, he spotted a potholder on the table, and as he reached for it her hand caught him by the wrist. He looked up at her, puzzled, and nearly dropped the ladle as she let the robe slide from her shoulders. Eyes wide and surprised, he breathlessly took in the sight of her, his heart pounding in his chest. he whispered.  


Just be quiet, she growled. Sometimes dinner can wait.  


He gasped as she pulled him to her, thrusting an arm beneath his armpit and grasping his shoulder blade while roughly removing the kerchief in his hair with the other. Her fingers grazed his scalp as she gripped his hair, tilting his head back and exposing his throat. He closed his eyes and sighed with pleasure as her lips, still slightly cold from being outside, explored the skin of his neck. Her mouth found his Adams apple and caressed it tenderly, eliciting a deep groan from him. His hands hesitantly touched her, her skin still warm from soaking in the hot spring just outside the door, and she felt like silk beneath his fingers. He freed himself from her grip, trying to grasp her around the waist, when she pulled away violently. His hands followed her motion, his brow furrowing in confusion, as she reached up and gripped the fabric of his shirt. He raised his eyebrows and blinked at her in surprise, nearly flinching as she ripped the front of his garment down the middle, baring his chest. he shuddered as she thrust her hands inside, fingering his ribs.  


Don't ruin this by talking, she murmured, and he leaned into her touch as she drew her hand down the cleft of his spine. Her other hand played lightly over the surface of his pectorals, dancing delightfully across his collarbones and sternum until coming to rest in his shallow navel. Again he attempted to catch her, but she moved more quickly than he expected and had him by the wrists. With a few deft motions she guided him to the table, using his body to clear the surface of assorted kitchen implements. He had the time to be relieved that nothing she knocked on the floor was actually breakable, then she cleared his head of all thought as she gripped his hips and began to kiss his bare chest, moving up to his neck and flicking his throat with her tongue. Somehow she managed to remove his shirt altogether as she forced him down onto the table, her long, naked limbs snaking around his as she rested her weight upon him fully. He moaned as she ran her hand down the inside of his thigh, her touch setting him aflame even through the fabric. You are mine, she said roughly through her teeth, and for a moment he caught a glimpse of her ruby eyes glistening in the firelight. She moved her head down to his navel and traced his muscles with her tongue, her heavy, silky hair spilling over his abdomen like liquid fire. Her hand came to rest where his leg joined his pelvis, her fingers digging into the tendons there, and he decided he had had enough.  


He rolled off of the table to a standing position, clutching her naked body to him as he did so, navigating over to the fire. He lowered her onto the rug by the hearth, letting his mouth play over her collarbones as his hair trailed across her bare breasts. His hands gently ran up and down the soft lines of her back, and she arched as he moved his head downward, taking a nipple into his mouth. A low sound came from the depths of her chest, and she slowly wrapped her legs around his hips, using the strength in her thighs to bring him closer to her. Enough of these games, she whispered, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down into a fierce kiss. Simultaneously she undid his belt and thrust her hand down the front of his pants, gripping him roughly. His eyes shot wide open and he inhaled sharply, then shuddered as she moved her hand down even further between his legs. He felt his limbs weaken as sensation flooded his body, and he nearly collapsed on top of her, lost. Beg me, she said softly into his ear, tone sharp.  


he moaned, gasping as she took his earlobe between her teeth.  


she hissed, arching her back and pressing her breasts into his bare chest.  


I won't, he panted, pulse racing. He couldn't tell if the fever of his skin was caused by the fire in the hearth or the woman beneath him.  


She used her toes to slowly push his trousers around his ankles, then kicked them off of him completely, so they lay entangled on the rug. I think you should.  


So she wanted to play a game, did she? A twisted smile wound across his face and he rested his full weight on her, pinning her. Whom should be the one to beg? he asked slyly.  


Lina Inverse never begs, she said, the firelight reflected in her eyes.  


He began to laugh, but his mirth changed to surprise as she planted her feet beneath her and thrust up with her hips, launching him an inch or two into the air. Before he knew what was going on, he was flat on his back, his wrists pinned to the floor. Perhaps the situation warrants reevaluation, he murmured.  


she whispered, leaning down and finally kissing him on the mouth. He freed his hands and gently gripped her jaw, sliding his tongue into her mouth. She made a soft noise against him, and he sat up, her legs seeming to wrap around him of their own accord. Still kissing her, he gripped her rear and lifted her onto him, reveling in her shudder as she wrapped herself around him. He began to move against her and she broke their kiss, tilting her head back and gripping her own wrist behind his neck. He watched her arch with half-closed eyes, taking in the sight of her body moving in tandem with his, the shadows her curves created on her skin changing with every slight shifting of position. His body quivered with the intensity of being inside of her, the soft skin of her thighs gently passing over his waist. It was as if, for one moment, they became one animal, each reaching inside the other and grasping the inner fire there. He heard her whimper softly and she thrust her hips downward, making him cry out as she drove his entire length into her. He grabbed desperately at her sweat-slickened body, praying it would never end, that they would be able to move like this for all eternity. Her fingernails dug sharply into his back and he grunted with the penetrating pleasure of her grip, feeling her body tighten around his and break out into a multitude of spasms, her breathing ragged in his ear. He gripped her by the back of the head, burying his fingers in her thick, shiny hair, and crushed her to him as he felt the universe break apart inside of him and he blissfully spilled over, panting against her neck.  


she moaned, and he was able to stop his trembling long enough to kiss her tenderly, sucking gently on her lower lip.  


I think I am yours, he murmured, falling backwards onto the rug, chest heaving. He looked up at her as she planted her hands flat on his chest, propping herself up. Their eyes met for long moments as their breathing slowed in unison, the sweat drying upon their bodies. He ran a hand through his hair, unsticking his bangs from his forehead, and then laid his hands atop hers. I think a part of me always will be yours.  


I know, she said, and smiled.  


This is really good, she mumbled around a mouthful as she shoveled soup into her mouth several moments later.  


He stared at her, disbelieving, as he always was, that such a small person could eat so much. She was so petite, and yet she was also anything but dainty. It would have been better, but it started to boil over, he said, politely spooning soup into his own mouth.  


Are you complaining? she asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow.  


Oh, heavens, no, he said quickly, blushing. I just wanted my first attempt at human cooking to be the best, that's all.  


It's plenty good for me, she replied, words muffled by the food in her mouth.  


Well, I'm glad you like it, he said, brows twisted in his war between admiration and confusion.  


was all she managed as a reply.  


It wasn't long before they were finished with supper and he had cleaned up and put away the dishes, leaving her to lounge in a chair by the fire, a hand on her distended belly. he asked slowly, wiping the final dish dry and stowing it in the cupboard.  


  


What was I really sick with?  


I told you, the flu.  


Does the flu have anything to do with Lorander or winter-flowers? he asked mildly, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.  


I dunno. Does it?  


Very evasive, Lina Inverse, he thought to himself. It was what he had come to expect. Well, he was able to play her game as a Monster, he didn't suppose it would be too much different to play it as a human. I was wondering why the mere flu would necessitate use of the winter-flower. It is a way to deaden nerves and motor function temporarily.  


Oh, is that right? Maybe we should get some, then.  


A small smile crept across his face and he was thankful his back was to her. The reason I bring it up at all is because I found some residue in one of the cups. He waited for her to answer, but the room's only sound was the crackling of the fire in the hearth.  


  


So I was wondering what you were using it for, if not to cure me. He turned around, barely able to contain his smile, knowing that he had her. Her face was tightened into a scowl and she was glaring at him fiercely.  


I thought to put you out of your pain, she snapped. I'm sorry. I'll be sure to never do you such a favor again.  


He raised an eyebrow. Oh, please forgive me, Miss Lina. I didn't mean to put you out of sorts.  


She darted him an evil look. Whatever. I'm going to sleep. Have a nice night in your cot.  


Sighing, he watched her crawl into the bed. Good night, he muttered, and continued to tidy things up.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Oh noooo! she wailed the next morning, kneeling on the bed and looking out a window.  


Xellos opened his eyes, squinting, and propped himself up on an elbow. Eh? What? he mumbled, trying to wake up.  


It's a blizzard! Lina moaned, flopping back down on the bed.  


Xellos blinked and looked out the window, unable to see anything but a blinding white. Oh, my, he whispered. That will put a kink in your schedule.  


Kink? I can't go out in this at all! It doesn't just put a kink in my plans, it ruins them, dammit!  


He sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around their blanketed mass. The cot shifted beneath him, swaying as he moved. That's too bad.  


It's worse than too bad, it's awful!  


Well, you brought back some books, didn't you?  


  


Then let's take a look at them together, shall we? You said that you'd appreciate my assistance with some translations, anyway.  


She sat cross-legged on the bed and studied him carefully. He looked at her askance and rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what she was thinking of. All right, she said finally. But make breakfast first.  


He threw off the blankets and swung his feet over the edge, pushing them into his slippers. Standing, he stretched and scratched his head. As you wish, he mumbled, and shuffled off to the kitchen.  


Hours and hours later, Lina was standing by another window, staring out at the snow falling in the darkness outside. This just doesn't make sense, Xellos growled. What are they talking about? After a while he noticed what Lina was doing and looked up at her. Her features were relaxed as she looked outside, and her gaze was far away. He wondered what she was thinking about, and also was aware of thinking how beautiful she was. For a moment he entertained the idea of going up to her and holding her, but he still had no idea where she was coming from. She had made love with him three times in as many days, but sometimes she seemed more distant than ever. He itched with desire for her, but he wasn't about to give into it unless she gave him a signal. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck with a homicidal Lina in a shack during a snowstorm.  


He glanced around the room, noting that the hour was late and she would most likely not want anything else that evening. Sighing, he stood and walked over to his cot, removing his shirt to change into his sleeping clothes. As he reached down for his nightshirt he felt a cool palm against the muscles of his back and he froze in mid motion. I'm not tired, she said, and he turned around slowly, his shirt falling back onto the cot from his numb fingers.  


I'm sorry, he said softly, looking down at her. Is there anything I can do?  


She shot him a half-smile and ran her index finger down the cleft between his pectoral muscles, her smile turning into a sly grin as he shivered under her touch. I was thinking we could play a game.  


He cocked his head to the side, fiercely battling the urge to scoop her up and kiss her. Ah, raging hormones were definitely a toss up between good and bad aspects of being a human. What sort of game? he asked with a raised eyebrow.  


It's pretty easy for you. Here, sit down in this chair.  


He let her lead him over to a chair by the hearth, sitting down when she pushed on his chest. he said uneasily, looking around. What sort of game was this? The twinkle in her eye was making him a little nervous.  


Are you sure you want to play? If you want to stop at any time, just let me know and we can do something else.  


No, I suppose I'll play, he said slowly. What do I do next?  


Lina leaned down close to him, smiling. She reached up and touched him on the forehead with her finger. she said, and he was swallowed up in the drowsy darkness of her spell.  


He came to slowly, feeling very disoriented and stiff. He belatedly realized that she had cast a sleeping spell on him, and when he moved to rise from the chair, he found that he couldn't move. Looking down, he saw that she had tied him, wrist and ankles, to the chair. He also wasn't wearing any clothing. What's going on? he asked sharply, very confused. There was really no telling what was going through Lina's head, and the idea worried him.  


Lina stepped out of the shadows and smiled, her eyes licking over his body. Do you still want to play? she replied softly, her fingers going up to the collar of her shirt and undoing the first several fasteners.  


Xellos swallowed hard and blinked rapidly. He would have no problems breaking free of the ropes if he used his magic, and he knew that Lina was aware of the fact. No, she had something else in mind, and the fact that she had gone through all the trouble of taking his clothes off and tying so many knots indicated that she had a definite plan. I'm not sure. Will it be fun?  


I think so, she murmured, walking over to him.  


His heartbeat thundered away in his ears as she raised a leg and put a foot on his knee, smiling wickedly at him the entire time. He took deep, deliberate breaths, determined to keep control of his body. She slowly undid a few more closures of her shirt until the barest hint of the swell of her breasts was revealed, then she sat in his lap with one smooth motion, running her hands through his hair. Do you want to quit? she whispered.  


he said with conviction. It seemed to be plenty of fun so far.  


She answered with a smile and put her hands gently on either side of his head, pulling his head to hers. She flicked the corners of his mouth with her tongue, gradually working her tongue inside his mouth. He closed his eyes and leaned into her kiss, wondering somewhere in the back of his mind what it all meant. She certainly was being forward with him.  


Still sitting in his lap, she undid more of her shirt until he could very clearly see the cleft between her breasts, her soft skin the texture of silk in the firelight. She pulled the hem of her shirt free from her belt and let it hang open far enough that her nipples were just barely covered. He wanted very much to reach forward and run his fingertips over that silky skin, or feel her taut nipples against his palms, but the ropes held him tight. Lina, dear, he began, twisting slightly where the ropes bound him.  


Ah, ah, she said, shaking her head. Not so soon. The fun hasn't even started.  


His brow creased as she stood, deftly removing her leggings until all she stood in were her shirt, which hung open, and her panties. The long, smooth planes of her legs were bared in the firelight, her fingertips running over where her underwear passed over her slim hips. Don't you think this is fun? she asked as he squirmed.  


You know I could break free of this easily, he said roughly, pulling against his bonds.  


Oh, I'm aware of that, she replied nonchalantly, reaching up and tossing her thick mane of fiery hair over her shoulder, the fabric pulling to the side with the motion and momentarily baring her breast. That's why your cooperation is necessary.  


Why should I play?  


A slow, devilish smile crossed her lips and she wagged her finger at him. Don't you want to see how it all turns out? she asked in return, putting her hands on her hips. I've never known you not to be curious.  


He scowled slightly, relaxing against his bonds. Damn her, she was right. The sight of her was nearly maddening, seeing written on her face her desire for him and yet toying with both of them. He really did want to see how this game was played, and so far it hadn't been painful. Perhaps it would be fun. He liked to have fun, after all. Why play this sort of game? he murmured, closing his eyes and trying to control himself.  
She smiled again, leaning forward and tracing his jaw with a finger. I guess it's a sort of revenge, she said softly, her breath against his cheek. For all the times you toyed with me, now I will toy with you.  


I suppose that's fair, he said breathlessly, turning his head and trying to catch her finger in his mouth.  


Glee lit up her eyes and she grinned, quickly pulling away from him. I think you'll play this game well, she murmured.  


I do everything well, he replied with a smile. You're lucky I'm not still a Monster.  


She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over his chest and presented her back to him, her high, firm rear moderately covered by her undergarments. Oh? And why is that?  


Because then ropes wouldn't even slow me down, he said, holding back the things he wanted to say. She was driving him crazy, standing just out of reach. He would have to break the ropes if he wanted to touch her, and that would be in violation of the game. It was her excuse to do whatever she wanted to him, and for him to let her. Still, on this particular snow-filled evening, just the sight of her was enough to make him want to bear down upon her and take her in every way imaginable. he said, his tone almost a snarl.  


She laughed, looking at him over her shoulder, and let the collar of her shirt slide down a bit, exposing the skin of the top of her shoulder blade. Pulling her hair off of her neck and holding it atop her head, she turned to him, her shirt hanging open to one side, exposing half of her. Isn't this fun? she murmured as he strained against his bonds once again. I can blow your mind and you can't do anything about it unless you break the rules.  


We'll see, Xellos growled, eyes fixed upon her.  


She giggled again and moved behind him, her light touch spreading across his straining shoulders. She picked up the weighty, silken mass of his hair and cleared it away, uncovering his neck. Slowly she began to kiss from the base of his skull to the knobby vertebrae at the end of his neck. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes as her warm lips and tongue moved over his skin and set off his nerves like fireworks. Her hands moved around to his chest and gently traced the grooves of his muscles, toying with his taut nipples as she continued her ministrations. His whole body felt aflame and she suddenly took his ear into her mouth, nipping the lobe ever so slightly. He gasped and lurched against the ropes, dimly aware of her satisfied chuckle. Still chortling, she abruptly released him and moved around to his front side again, always keeping her fingers barely trailing on the surface of his skin, as if to keep him aware of her presence through means other than simply sight, as if he needed any other clue than the enormous heat her body was putting off to guide him to her.  


A gasp escaped him as she knelt between his legs, slowly drawing her hands up the insides of his firm thighs, letting her fingertips rest in the notches created by where the tendons of his legs met his pelvis. You have wonderful skin for a man, she murmured, leaning down and kissing the inside of his leg gently.  


He drew a ragged breath in reply and moaned softly, tilting his head back. It was driving him insane to have her so near, and not have the freedom to hold her, to touch her. he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.  


Say my name again, she murmured, and wrapped her hand around him. He gasped as she took him into her mouth, his head spinning with the sensation, and he wasn't sure if he was actually moving or not. Everything seemed to melt together, the feeling of her lips upon him the only truth in the new universe she was showing him. He groaned aloud and thrust his hips forward, and just when he thought he would break into a million pieces, she drew her head away and stood, laughing softly.  


He opened his eyes and stared at her flatly, his gaze practically glowing with desire. You're right, this is a fun game, he panted, his eyes eating every ounce of her uncovered flesh. However, I think I know one even more entertaining.  


She cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips. Oh, really? she snorted. And what might that be?  


A slow, evil smile wound across his face, his eyes two amethyst embers beneath the shadows of his heavy bangs. he said quietly, and with a glance the spell was cast.  


Lina's body stiffened and her eyes opened wide. What the? she gasped, struggling against his spell.  


Xellos' throaty laugh resounded throughout the cabin. It's just the beginning of my game, he said, quietly disintegrating the ropes that held him. He stood, stretching out the kinks in his muscles. Yes, her game had been fun, but he knew he was going to like his better.  


With a small gesture of his hand he raised her to his eye level, smiling slightly as their gazes locked. How can you be this strong? she whispered, eyes still the size of saucers. You're only a human now!  


You have always underestimated me, Lina Inverse, he murmured in return, tracing her jawline with a finger. He watched her face intently as he raised a hand and moved the fabric of her shirt aside. She clenched her jaw and stared him down, as if daring him to do anything. He slowly touched the skin of her breast, not wanting to rush things and spoil it. Besides, she had so much wonderful, flawless skin, it would be a shame not to cherish every single square inch of it. He tenderly thumbed the skin around her taut nipple, a sly smile crossing his face as her body spasmed slightly and a frown appeared upon her face.  


Suddenly he paused, his brow creasing, and he put his knuckles to his chin. Oh, dear, he said, closing his eyes and tilting his head towards the floor. I forgot to ask you if you wanted to play my game. You did ask me, after all, and I would hate to deny you the same courtesy.  


He raised his eyes to her face, watching the pride and desire war in her eyes. Her mouth twisted with indecision, and finally her lips parted in a smile. It's only fair, I suppose. I had my fun with you.  


He lowered his eyelids a bit and placed both his hands on her hips, slowly bringing her through the air towards him. It was tempting to just take her then, he could tell she was ready, but he forced himself to wait. Prolonging pleasure was never a bad thing. I'm glad you see it that way, he murmured, lifting a lock of her shiny hair and raising it to his nostrils. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes, and rubbed the hair against his cheek. Absolutely phenomenal, he whispered, then moved her hair to the side, exposing her neck. Leaning forward, he gently placed his lips on the side of her throat, nibbling gently with his teeth and tongue until he reached the nerve bundle behind her ear. He took her earlobe between his incisors and pulled slightly, feeling her shudder the length of him.  


Suddenly he put his hands on her shoulders, shaking his head and making a clicking noise with his tongue. It's hardly fair that you're wearing so much more than I am, he said, and raised a finger in front of her face. Her eyes locked onto it with curiosity, following its motion as he waved it in the air. With a snap of his fingers her clothes disappeared entirely and she cried aloud with surprise. Reaching out, he lightly traced the curve of her back with his slightly calloused palms and sighed with delight. Much better, he murmured.  


This isn't fair, Lina blurted suddenly, face stained with a deep blush of desire. I only tied you up. You could have escaped at any time, but I can't get free of your spell!  


He laughed again, pulling her to him tightly. Life isn't fair, he growled passionately. That's one thing I've learned so far.  


  


he continued, interrupting her. Do you really want to escape?  


The flush on her cheeks deepened further and she looked away, biting her lip slightly.  


I thought not, he chuckled, drawing the tip of his tongue over her collarbone. With a movement of his arm he spun her around, drawing patterns on the slender plane of her back with kisses, cupping her breasts in his hands and pushing himself against the soft cleft of her buttocks. he whispered into her hair, closing his eyes and once again smelling her. She sighed and relaxed against him as much as she was able, and he began to nuzzle her neck, spreading a hand over the flat surface of her belly. He drew a little circle around her navel before traveling downward, feeling mild surprise when he encountered moisture on the insides of her thighs. Gently he parted her legs and slid his fingers inside, her groan sending electric threads of desire through his entire body. He moved his hand, smiling against her neck as she trembled from his tender ministrations. He decided he wanted more of her, and so knelt, gently setting her shoulders on the ground while keeping her hips on a level with his head. What goes around, comes around, he whispered, enjoying the half-drunk expression on her face.  


With that he set to work upon her with his mouth, closing his eyes and tasting her, little thrills running up and down his spine every time she strained against his spell, which was getting harder and harder to maintain as his discipline deteriorated. she cried, and he lost all reason.  


No matter the game, you are always the prize, he said firmly, raising her into the air above his head and immediately releasing the spell. She yelped as she fell downward and into his waiting arms, her smooth, silky body pressed against his sculpted chest. He walked smoothly to the bed and laid her down on it, closing his eyes in bliss as she curled her arms about his shoulders. She spread her legs and he completely abandoned his control, their cries simultaneous as he rammed into her. She groaned and clutched at his back furiously, the short gasps of her breathing seeming like thunder in his ear. He moved against her as quickly as he could manage, reveling in the soft collisions of their bodies. Reaching down, she clasped his rear and pulled him farther into her and cried out, her body arching as she disintegrated into spasms. He let loose a long sigh and followed suit a few minutes later, collapsing on top of her, utterly exhausted. He panted into the pillow beside her head, feeling his hair and hers sticking to his skin. Her fingers lazily traced the lines of his back and he remained inside her for quite some time, feeling as if even their pulses were evenly matched. For a moment he couldn't tell where he ended and she began, so close were they. Would he ever have other means than physical love to show her what she meant to him?  


You were right, he said, the pillow muffling his voice. That was a lot of fun.  


I agree, she replied, still holding him tight. My genius surprises even me sometimes.  


He propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at her with a gaze full of tenderness. I'm afraid I won't have the energy to play like that for a while, he murmured.  


I'm surprised you managed to hold those spells as long as you did. Levitation is very draining, especially when cast on someone else, and I have no idea what you were using to keep me from moving.  


That, my dearest Lina, is-  


A secret, she finished for him.  


He laughed and rolled to the side, still clutching her to him. She spread a hand out on his chest and nestled into the curve of his shoulder. He put his finger beneath her chin and tilted her face upward, kissing her with everything he was, pouring all the feeling he could muster into his kiss. She responded and opened her mouth to him, and they lay locked like that for several profound moments. Finally he released her and she quickly kissed him on the chin. You always have to have the last say, he whispered, but she had already settled her head on his chest and was beginning to snore, fast asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

He shivered madly as he bounded back across the blizzard-darkened room, the chilly air on his bare skin seeming unbearable after the warmth of the bed. Someone had the start the fire, though, and he just wished he would have taken the time to put on some sort of clothing. With a final leap he plunged back under the covers, snuggling close to Lina and stealing some of her warmth. She moaned and pushed against him, apparently wanting to have nothing to do with his cold skin. He rolled onto his side and watched her wake up, her ruby eyes fluttering open and focusing on him.  


Good morning, Lina dearest, he whispered, running the back of his fingers over her cheek.  


Oh, hey, she murmured. Were you up just now?  


He nodded, running his hand through the hair at her temple. I had to start the fire, he replied softly, gazing at her as if she were the finest treasure the world had ever produced.  


She stretched, her silken limbs grazing his skin, which was beginning to warm up again. Eh? Is it morning?  


  


She sat up, peering about and tucking the covers around her chest. But it's so dark!  


I fear the blizzard is still going on, he said gently, watching her antics as he supported his head on his hand.  


But we'll be totally snowed in! What will we do then?  


We already are snowed in. We have plenty of food for another week or so. Well, we have enough food for a month for me, but only a week for you.  


Shut up, she growled, turning her attention back to him.  


I don't think you need to worry, he murmured, laying his head back down on the pillow.  


I'm losing too much researching time, she hissed, glancing out the window again.  


We can find other things to keep ourselves occupied, he replied, gently reaching out and taking her around the waist. He pulled her under the covers and pressed her warm body against his, closing his eyes and snuggling into her neck. She sighed and relaxed, cuddling him back, her hand lazily wandering over the sculpted muscles of his upper arm.  


It feels like we're a million miles away from the real world, she breathed.  


He smiled and held her closer, enjoying the simplicity of just holding her, his legs entwined with hers underneath the heavy comforters. It's just the two of us, he agreed, his fingers lacing with hers, and he realized he had never just sat and held her hand. He had seen a lot of human couples do it, and he felt an odd closeness as he took her hand in his.  


Where can this go, Xellos? What will you do once spring comes?  


He shrugged, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it softly. Does it matter if this goes anywhere? he wondered aloud. Isn't the point to have fun?  


I suppose, she said, eying him with skeptical scrutiny.  


I don't really know what I'll do when the winter goes. Perhaps I'll wander the land, making talismans and charms and peddling my wares and knowledge. Maybe I'll seek fame and fortune. Who knows, I might even hire myself out to warring kings and make my living decimating armies. Really, I suppose the sky's the limit.  


Her eyes wandered over his face and a blush appeared across the bridge of her nose. Well, I was thinking, she muttered.  


  


You could wander with me, if you wanted to. If we happened to be going the same way, I mean.  


He smiled and pressed against her more tightly. Well, if I happen to be going the right way, I might very well join you. Who knows, it might be fun.  


It might be, she agreed, and the two of them lay in comfortable silence for several more hours, watching the snow fall outside as the fire in the hearth warmed the room.  


After a meal, they both sat on the rug in front of the fire, not bothering to dress themselves. Xellos sat behind Lina, his legs cradling her on either side, and a thick blanket wrapped around both of their shoulders. See, look here, she said, pointing at a word in the heavy book she held, and he rested his chin on her silky shoulder, looking down his nose at the text.  


  


What does it mean?  


He squinted at it a little and wrapped his arms around her marginally more tightly. She was covering most of the page up with her hand, but finally he spied the word she was pointing at. he said after a few brief moments of thought. That's the closest translation I can come up with.  


What's that?  


What, soul-fire?  


  


He pursed his lips and glanced up at the ceiling as he thought. Well, it's actually an archaic term for an astral body, of a sort, he replied slowly. Perhaps more like a melding of the astral body and the soul. You see, each living being not only has an astral body, but also an essence that is the same in both the astral and the physical plane. That's what everyone seems to refer to as a soul'. Why, is that part of a spell?  


she said quickly, closing the book before he could glance at it again. He felt her put a subtle spell on the book. She couldn't lock it against him, but she could find out whether or not he had looked.  


He stored her actions away in his memory for further examination, then sighed. Well, you can't get at the soul unless you destroy one of the bodies or another. I suppose that a person can express their soul and share it through using either the astral or physical body. Everyone's astral body looks different, also. You, for example, look very much like some sort of flame. Your outlines are constantly moving, but your body overall is strong and bright. You're fairly easy to spot.

And you? What did you look like on the astral plane?  


He laughed softly, amazed that he could feel anything other than the pain of loss when he thought about his life as a Monster. I, my dearest Lina, was rather like a large, black cone.  


She made a little gasping noise of completed mental association and looked over her shoulder at him. That's where those things came from! she breathed. Saygram's body warped in the shape of a cone before he died, and you used those during the whole Darkstar and Valgaav ordeal as well!  


he said, reaching up and tapping her on the end of the nose. She scowled at him fiercely, causing him to laugh at her. So, why do you need spells like that, Lina? he asked, chortling softly. Why are you so interested in the astral plane?  


I really don't want- she began.  


Why would you possibly need to manipulate astral energy, Lina dearest? he asked, all signs of mirth sloughing away. To what end do you search for astral spells?  


She kissed him by way of an answer, turning in his arms. Grabbing the back of his neck, she leaned back and pulled him down on top of her, and thoroughly distracted him so that his question lay in his mind, forgotten, for a couple of more hours.  


It's never been like that, she muttered, her breath still coming in short bursts as she covered her face with her hand.  


Xellos rolled to the side and pulled her close to him, watching the fire in the hearth leap playfully. You mean it was never like that with Gourry, he said, his heart constricting in his chest, and he had to make a conscious effort not to grip her with everything he had.  


She didn't move or even tense up, and when she finally spoke it was with numb resignation. You knew, then.  


I could smell him on your skin, Xellos murmured. It was a different sort of feeling for me, back then.  


I see.  


You left him.  


There was another long silence. There were things I had to do. There still are.  


And you're worried that Gourry might not be the man for you.  


That's part of it.  


Xellos quietly mulled everything over in his head, the machinations of his brain speeding along. So, she had felt tied down, and so had freed herself completely instead of struggling onward. It made perfect sense to him. Therefore, if he didn't want to repeat Gourry's mistake, he would have to let her go if he wanted to keep her. Well, then, I hope you find the perfect man. Best of luck.  


She squirmed slightly in his arms. You don't want to be that man?  


A rush of heated satisfaction flooded through him, pleased that he could still get people to do exactly what he wanted them to. Oh, I'm not what you need, I think. After all, I'm far too powerful, for one. I know you wouldn't want to play second fiddle. I'm also not going to let you run my life. Besides, I think you'd rather get treasures all by yourself, instead of splitting the spoils of marauding with someone else.  


His words had the effect he had hoped they would. She turned in his embrace and looked up into his face, expression full of wrath. I'll have you know, mister, that you're not that much stronger than me, and you won't be at all for much longer, especially if I can get the spell, I mean, once I get my research finished. And who are you to make judgments for me? I generate my own decisions, thank you very much, she snapped. I'll say who's the perfect man for me.  


I know, he whispered, reaching out a hand and smoothing out her unruly hair. I understand your mind, Lina, and what drives you. No other being on this planet can claim to do that.  


Her eyes grew wide and he saw something flickering in their depths. Oh, why was this woman so important to him? Why was he willing to do so much just to see her smile? she whispered, and craned her head to kiss him.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Two days later Xellos sat in a chair, heels propped up on a side table, quietly turning pages of a book in the firelight. The sky was just beginning to lighten, and he fingered a page, looking at the words but not reading. His glance stole over to where Lina was still sprawled in the bed, tangled in the heavy bedclothes and snoring softly. He smiled softly to himself, recalling the countless times during the blizzard that they had made love, the infinite number of intimate discussions while holding one another tightly. He was happy, he realized, perhaps for the first time in his existence. Oh, he had sampled glee, pleasure, satisfaction, et cetera in his life, but never such happiness. The feeling seemed to saturate his entire being, and he felt as if he could relive the past few days and never tire of them. He wondered, for the very first time in his memory, what the future held for him. Where would he be in twenty years? What did he want? An image of an older version of himself came to mind, sitting in a chair by the fire, grey at his temples and a great big book in his lap. Lina would be there, he would do his best to see to that, and perhaps even children, or grandchildren. A smile wound across his face and he shook his head at himself, thinking that it wouldn't be so bad, to live a mortal life. In the end, he could accept his mortality, if he could live it out with her.  


A small sound roused him from his thoughts and he looked toward the bed, where Lina was waking up. Sighing, he put down his book and went to sit on the edge of the mattress, gently stroking her hair until her eyes fluttered open. Good morning, Lina dear, he whispered.  


she grumbled. Why are you up? You should be in here, keeping me warm.  


The blizzard stopped, he said by way of explanation. I imagine you'll be going back to the Library tomorrow, and I needed to catch up on the texts you wanted me to read. After all, you haven't given me very much free time in which to translate things.  


Excuses, excuses, she grumbled, reaching up and tracing the muscular grooves in his torso. He snatched up her wrist and kissed the soft skin on the inside, earning himself a purr.  


Three more months, he said, releasing her and standing.  


Until what?  


he explained, finding that he dreaded it. He knew Lina was up to something, and he wanted to be wandering again, but he had gotten used to their little, cozy life. He knew he was a bit nervous that Lina would decide to up and leave him. It would be bearable if she did, but it wasn't something he wanted to happen. What will you do in the spring, Lina? I never asked you.  


She sighed and bunched up more pillow under her head and he tried to ignore the nervous pounding of his heart. Oh, I don't know, she replied. I don't think Lorander's giving me the whole picture. I thought I found what I was looking for, but it turns out that they're only half the books from a set. I need to read the others to really know what's going on. They aren't here, though. I suppose when the snow melts I'll go find the other parts of the set. I think they're in a place called Moleccia.  


Xellos whispered, eyes narrowing.  


Yeah. I figured you and I would head there as soon as we can.  


One of the things he liked least about being a human was the way emotions could wage wars inside of him. A horrible battle was going on in him at the moment, between dawning horrified realization and aching joy that she wanted him to continue journeying with her. Joy won the struggle, and he broke out into a grin. Then that's where we shall go, he said, going to the window and looking outside. Snow covered almost the entire window, so deeply was it piled outside. He stood with his back to her, leaning against the wood and unintentionally blocking her view of the snow. A scowl broke over his face and he glared outside, his misgivings surging to the surface again. Yes, it was very nice that she was going to have him stay with her. However, Moleccia had been an ancient capital for research in the time before the War of the Monster's Fall. It was famous for its endeavors to find a way to defeat Monsters once and for all. Was that what Lina was after as well, or was it merely a coincidence that the volumes she was searching for were in Moleccia?  


You know, her voice said from the bed, and he smoothed out his features before turning to her with his customary smile.  


  


I was always curious about you, before.  


He slowly opened his eyes.   


She smiled lazily at him. Yeah. I wondered what your body was like underneath all those clothes. I was curious if Monsters in physical form were similar to human men. I also wanted to know how your tastes ran.  


Well, my body looked exactly the same before, he explained, eyes following her as she gracefully rose from the bed, wrapping sheets around her and going to where he had tea brewing on the hearth. As for my tastes, I think you know them by now.  


She laughed and poured herself a cup of tea, leaning a hip against one of the many tables in the cooking area. You like everything and anything, and so far you haven't done the same thing twice.  


He raised an eyebrow, stepping away from the chilly wall and folding his arms across his bare chest. I could say the same for you.  


Her laughter resounded through the cabin again and she smiled, putting down her cup as she watched him come over to her. It's just so much fun, she murmured, putting her hands on his shoulders and placing her head on his chest. She trailed her fingers down to his cold-hardened nipples and drew little circles around the sensitive flesh, making him smile.  


I'll play as long as you like, he said softly in reply, taking her hand and pressing it firmly to his chest so that she could feel his heartbeat. Looking down into her eyes, he realized that he cared very deeply for this woman, would die for her if necessary. It wasn't the same caring he had for her before; back then he had only cared for her like a pet or a favorite toy. Now, however, he found he was truly happy to spend every waking second with her.  


Lina whispered, and stood on tiptoe to kiss his neck.

Knowing that all her bare skin was just fractions of inches away from him, he decided that now was as good a time as any to start a round of lovemaking. His long, elegant hands turned her away from him and towards the fire, his fingers tracing her neck as she leaned back into him and sighed. With a single pull he released the drawstring on his pants and stepped out of them, pressing his body the length of hers as he let his hands wander beneath the sheet. He gently caressed her body, finding all the little spots she was fond of and manipulating them, his touch becoming more and more impassioned as time wore on and her reactions became more violent. With a single gesture he lowered her to the rug in front of the heart and pushed the sheet up over her hips, shuddering as he drove into her from behind and she cried out. Lina was a noisy lover and he found that he thoroughly enjoyed it. After all, his objective was to take her to higher states of euphoria each time he touched her, and her sounds seemed to be a good gage of how well he was doing.  


He spread her legs with his thighs and pushed himself to the hilt, gently rubbing her back with his palms as he felt her stretch and change to accommodate the new position. He leaned over her back and rested his head between her shoulder blades, closing his eyes and controlling his breathing. He didn't want to rush it, and so fought the desire to begin immediately. Her muscles tightened around him and he emitted a low sound somewhere between a growl and a groan. He began to withdraw as slowly as he could manage, feeling her skin clinging to his as he moved. A long noise left her, like an elongated sigh with a deeper timbre, and he saw her dig her fingers into the rug. He pushed himself into her again, once more going as slowly as he possibly could, aware of the fluctuations of her inner muscles as he did so. He buried himself in her as deeply as he could, closing his eyes and shuddering as her fluids began to work their way down the front of his thighs. That was one more spectacular characteristic of Lina's: it didn't take long for her to be worked up beyond belief. Her own natural passion made his job very, very easy.

  
He repeated the slow process several more times, finally clenching his jaw with the effort of going at such a pace, Lina crying out as she allowed her torso to collapse to the rug. Her ragged panting was one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard, and he smiled as he pounded into her faster, earning himself a yell. He gripped her hips tightly, stabilizing them as he began to move slightly more quickly. She cried out and the sound encouraged him, his breathing beginning to come more deeply as he closed his eyes and reveled in the feel of her. Leaning over her back, he delighted in the sensation of her smooth, flawless skin against his chest and cupped her breasts in his hands, fingering her nipples and taking the back of her neck in his teeth. He heard his name shouted as he increased the tempo yet again, sliding in and out of her easily. He bit down harder on the skin of her neck and was rewarded with a passionate cry as she pushed her torso level with the rest of her body, making it easier for him to get at her neck. Finally it seemed like reason abandoned him altogether and he moved against her as quickly as he could, carried along by her escalating sounds. He had the fleeting thought that he was very happy they had no neighbors, then tumbled over his limit violently. His entire body spasmed and he cried aloud for the first time, but he continued moving until she also came. She collapsed entirely beneath him, and he felt a split-second of panic as he crashed down on top of her. He pulled out of her and rolled to the side, taking some of her sheet and pulling it over the both of them. She lay flat on the floor, smiling at him from underneath half-closed eyelids.  


We need to buy a new rug for the hearth, he said, putting a hand over his eyes and stretching his muscles. I'm afraid we've ruined this one.  


We can take care of that when we get back into town, she murmured, sidling over to him and lying with her head on his chest. Her hand snaked down between his legs, wiping her fluids from his skin. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, the afterglow still filling him with a loose, warm feeling.  


Yes, we can discuss that later, he mumbled, and closed his eyes, just enjoying being next to her.  


Half an hour later, Lina rolled over and rubbed the back of her neck. They still hadn't moved from the rug in front of the hearth, nor had shown any inclination to. You left a mark! she said, fingering her skin.  


He reached over and pushed up the heavy length of her hair, eyes widening when he saw a red little nip-mark on her skin. Oh, I'm sorry, he said, leaning in and kissing the skin.  


It's okay, she murmured. I sort of liked it.  


His eyebrows raised fractionally. All right, he said. I'm still sorry for leaving a mark.  


She laughed and pushed him back down on the rug. Don't apologize all the time, she said sharply, but with humor.  


I'm sor. . . er, okay, he replied, watching her suspiciously as she straddled him. Suddenly she leaned down and bit him sharply where the muscles of his neck and shoulder joined, making his whole body leap with surprise. He clapped a hand to where she had bitten and looked up at her, eyes wide. What are you doing? he asked breathlessly. She didn't answer, leaning down and nipping him in a different spot. He yelped and tried to squirm away, but she held him fast. They repeated the process numerous times, and he stared up at her in disbelief, fingering the small red marks she had left upon his skin. he protested.  


Don't you like it? she murmured.  


He blushed, his gaze darting away. I didn't say that, he muttered. A movement caught his eye and he looked at her, watching as she reached down between her own legs, then put her moist fingers to his lips. Desire began to flicker in him once more as he tasted her upon his lips, a shudder running the length of his body. Sometimes he wasn't certain if she was for real, or if he had actually died upon becoming human and it was all one amazing dream. Oh lord, again? he whispered.  


she commanded gently, grabbing his hand. In one motion she guided his fingers inside of her and leaned forward, biting him on the side of the neck. He yelped and moaned simultaneously, producing a strange, garbled noise.  


But it was just half an hour ago! he said.  


She pushed his fingers farther inside of her and he put his head back and gasped. Reaching around behind herself, she gripped him between the legs, his body responding immediately to her touch. See, you're ready, she said with a raised eyebrow, removing his fingers from her. You're not really complaining, are you?  


He blinked at her, not sure how to react. Well, no, but-  


Then shut up, she growled, leaning down and biting him again. He gasped and reached for her, but she had turned around and was kissing the inside of this thigh. Before he could grasp her, she took his length in her hand and drove herself down upon him, facing away. He watched in fascination as he disappeared inside of her and she wasted no time, going at him fast and furious. His arousal level rose to match hers, and he sat up as much as he was capable of doing with her upon him. She cried out and gripped his ankles, finishing almost immediately. He gasped and she attempted to move off of him, but he grabbed her left ankle and pulled her back down. She tried to turn around but he drove into her with all his might, making her gasp. She reached behind herself and he grabbed her right wrist, twisting her torso slightly. Her muscles contracted as she tried to struggle against his grip, but he just pulled her down onto him more tightly. She alternately moaned and growled, tugging on his grip, but he would not be denied. Besides, her struggling wasn't what he knew she was capable of, and her position was like nothing he had ever felt before. His stomach muscles burned with the effort of keeping everything in place, and before he knew it she was coming again quite noisily, crying out with pleasure and struggling even harder than she had earlier. He followed suit and spilled over, finally releasing her limbs and allowing her to collapse. Her buttocks clenched against his stomach as her body was wracked with spasms and he let himself fall back onto the rug, panting. He closed his eyes and wiped the sweat from his forehead, wondering how he, who had spent so many thousands of years trying to help destroy the world and therefore humankind, had stumbled into earthly paradise. Lina was his heaven and his earth, and he had a feeling that no matter how hard he might try and hide it, she knew.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

I still can't get it open! she shouted several hours later. They had dressed, eaten, and were currently trying to find a way to get out of the cabin. The snow was so deep and so heavily pressed against the doors that there was no way to open them. Who the hell builds a house where the doors swing outward? Lina cried, pounding her fist against the door.  


This isn't a particularly well-crafted cabin, Xellos offered, shouldering the back door. At this point in time it might be better to try to get out the window.  


I am going through the damn door! Lina bellowed, readying a spell. Xellos gasped and dashed across the room, tackling her onto the bed.  


Xellos said sharply. If you cast that in here you'll destroy everything!  


I don't care, just get me out of this place! she screeched, struggling against him.  


He pinned her down by the shoulders and looked down into her face. Calm down, he said sternly. We'll get out of here.  


What do you think you're doing? she hissed, gripping his wrists angrily.  


He smiled and leaned down, kissing her gently. She sighed as he sucked on her lower lip, removing his hands from her shoulders and placing them on her waist, letting his body weight pin her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, and finally she was calm enough that he felt comfortable setting her free. Don't worry, Lina dearest, he murmured, tenderly clearing the bangs from her forehead. I'll just take the doors off of the hinges and we can make our paths form there.  


she growled haltingly, sitting up when he moved off of her. But make it quick.  


He turned his back to her and sighed, silently rolling his eyes. Oh well, that was Lina for you. I'll do my best, he muttered, and rummaged through some drawers until he found some suitable tools. In a few moments he had the front door off and they were staring at a wall of snow.  


It's my turn, now, she said with evil glee, and before he could stop her she had cast a Flare Arrow and melted a huge path in the snow. She brushed her hands off on one another with a clapping noise and put them on her hips. How's that?  


Very effective, Xellos said. We're lucky no one lives across the road or you would have taken out their home. That goes for travelers, too.  


Oh, shut up, she snapped. It worked out fine, didn't it?  


he agreed. But you never think about the consequences of your actions.  


She grunted and turned away from him. she said angrily, flopping down on the bed with a book.  


Xellos sighed and put the front door back on before moving to the rear of the house. When confronted with a wall of snow, he simply cast a fire spell a few feet in front of him and walked forward, creating a neat, clean path to the pond, which had frozen and was buried under several feet of snow. In no time at all he had created walkways to the shed and other outbuildings as well, freezing the walls of the paths to keep them sturdy. The last thing he needed was for the walls to come down on Lina when she was walking around. He melted the pond last, which took a lot more time, considering he wanted it heated as well. He sorely needed a bath, and wondered how Lina could stand to be around him. That was one awful side effect of being mortal- it was possible to smell just awful. Water's ready, if you'd like to bathe, he said, coming inside and beginning to put on the back door.  


Lina perked up immediately, tossing the book on the floor. she said, stripping rapidly and throwing on her robe. She shoved him and the door aside and rocketed to the pond. Are you joining me? she shouted.  


He sighed and rubbed his temple. In a moment, he called back, finishing putting the door back on. He went over to the bed and folded her clothes, then picked up the book she had discarded. He'd be happy when they were back on the road again. He wouldn't have to pick up after her nearly as much. Undressing, he placed his folded clothes next to hers and wrapped his cloak around him. He wandered out to the pond and slipped into the water next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and kissing her on the temple.  


This is great, Lina purred, sinking underneath the steaming water up to her chin. I was getting really ripe.  


Xellos replied without thinking.  


Are you telling me I smelled? she growled.  


He looked at her with alarm, then let an evil smile crawl over his face. Yes. You had the most awful, detestable smell I have ever had the misfortune to experience.  


Lina's face went beet red and she narrowed her eyes angrily. she hissed flatly.  


He nodded. In fact, you still smell that way, he added, his grin widening. I think I should rub that smell right off of you. With that he pounced on Lina, dragging her under the water and tickling her madly.  


she screamed, giggling.   


Oh, you're still stinky, he growled, running his hands all over her body. She squealed and batted at him, then they fell into an embrace. He closed his eyes and pressed himself to her, then kissed her on the neck and took a step back, disappearing under the water. It really does feel good to be clean again, he said with a sigh.  


Lina agreed, blowing bubbles under the water.  


We'll need to make a trip to town soon, Xellos said, leaning against the stones at the side of the pond. We're almost out of provisions.  


How long can we last? I'd like to go back up to the Library tomorrow.  


Xellos frowned and counted things off on his fingers. Well, I could last another few weeks or so, but I think for you we only have a couple of days' worth.  


I HATE the winter, Lina growled. You can't get fresh anything to save your life. See, this is why I don't live in cold places.  


If I was still a Monster I'd just teleport to one of the southern ports and get some delectable goodies for us, he mused.  


He felt her hand grip his under the water. It doesn't matter, really, she said, her face graced with a rare expression of earnestness. I'm glad you're not a Monster anymore.  


He smiled softly at her, putting an arm around her and pulling her close. Thank you, he replied.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

As the months went by he wondered how different things would have been if he had stayed a Monster. Suppose that Orkalym and Anemony had never shown up, for instance. Would Lina have left Gourry anyway? If so, would she have accepted him? Perhaps once or twice, as a lover, but never on the levels she did at present. Was this what Gourry had felt when he was around her? His thoughts traveled to the swordsman for the first time, wondering what he was doing. Had Lina's departure broken his heart? Xellos knew it would break his if she left, and that thought frightened him. He had barely become used to having a real heart and couldn't fathom it being broken. Not liking the feeling of melancholy that was passing over him, he looked outside and paused in his cooking. The winter had passed and buds were starting to appear on the trees. The grass was already green again, and Lina was actually coming home before dark. Soon it would be time to move on and see how things went in the wider world. It was one thing to be with Lina in the solitude of their own home, but he wondered how she would treat him once they were in public. Once again, his thoughts turned to Gourry. She had usually treated Gourry very poorly in public, disavowing any intimate connection with him. He wondered if she would do the same thing to him. Perhaps not; he was a different man than Gourry was, and he was certain Lina was different with him as well. There was really no point in worrying about it. He had learned that humans really couldn't do anything about their situation until the time was upon them.  


Lina crowed throwing open the door.  


He smiled and set down his knife, taking the heavy bag of books from her. You found more?  


she said, rubbing her shoulder. And they're heavy! A few of them might be in dragon, but I couldn't tell.  


If they are then I can't read them, he said, placing the bag neatly on the floor next to the bookshelf.  


I know, but I thought you could at least give it a shot, she grumbled. Oh, that was such a long walk!  


Well, you're nearly done with the Library, aren't you? he asked, putting his arms around her.  


She leaned into his embrace, closing her eyes as she rested her head on his chest. Yes, I suppose, she murmured. I'll be glad to get on the road again.  


It will feel good, he said, leaning his cheek against her hair.  


But you know what? I've really grown fond of this place. It has been a really long time since I had anywhere I called home. It's been sort of nice.  


It has been, hasn't it? he murmured. Oh well, there will be plenty of time for making a home later on.  


she said, pulling away and grinning up at him, and he mentally patted himself on the back. After all, we're young and need to have some fun. He laughed, shaking his head. She raised an eyebrow, then joined him in laughing. Okay, so I'm young, she amended. For being as old as you are, you look great.  


Thank you, Lina dearest, he said. I'm just lucky that my mistress didn't put me into a body my real age. I fear I wouldn't have lasted very long during one of our little sessions.  


You wouldn't have even lived to see our little sessions, she chuckled. But you know, Xellos, she's not your mistress anymore. You're a human, and you don't serve anyone or anything unless you want to. You're free.  


He cocked his head, considering. I suppose you're right, he said. I'm doing exactly what I want to, and it feels very good.  


I like it, too, she replied with a smile. Now hurry up and finish dinner.  


He shook his head and reached up, fixing his hair into a better ponytail, the sides still falling in front of his ears. I would have finished already if someone hadn't interrupted me by entering so loudly, he said with a grin.  


It's not my fault you can't help but be stunned by the most beautiful, clever sorcery genius ever to walk the planet! she declared, throwing her cape wide open.  


He laughed and tossed some more onions into a pan. I suppose it isn't, he agreed, and finished up the meal.  


They sat down at the table and Xellos watched as Lina shoved as much food as she could into her mouth. I was thinking, Xellos said slowly, That we could go to the festival in town the day after tomorrow.  


Lina stopped her shoveling and looked up at him, noodles hanging down her chin. What kind of festival?  


Oh, it's just one that celebrates the arrival of spring and whatnot, he explained with a wave of his hand. It's sort of fancy, and I thought it might be a nice change of pace.  


I suppose, she said haltingly. Do I have to wear a dress?  


I was sort of hoping you would, he replied.  


But I don't have one.  


I thought we could go into town tomorrow and have our outfits assembled then. I don't have anything to wear, either. We could leave in the morning, spend the day doing our respective things, and then stay the night in an inn. It would probably be best to go early anyway, since then we can be certain we have a room for the night of the festival.  


She shrugged and began eating again. Okay, whatever. I guess it wouldn't kill me to do what someone else wanted to do for once.  


Xellos sighed. He wanted her to be excited about the festival, and it was his chance to test the waters on how she felt about him. Well, if you don't want to go then we don't have to. I just thought you might want to, considering that they're serving dragon cuisine, and I know you never got a chance to sample it.  


Her eyes went wide and she grinned. He could almost see her eyeballs sparkling at the thought of gourmet food. Dragon cuisine? Well, I suppose it'll be somewhat fun, then. What time do you want to leave?  


He smiled, satisfied. I figured I'd pack breakfast tonight and we can get on the road fairly early. I'd like to take the time to find a truly wonderful outfit.  


You gotta look your best if you're going to keep up with me, she said with a sigh. I understand.  


He blinked, floored, as always, by her arrogance, and started to laugh. It's a date, then, he chortled, and began to eat.  


The next day they started out shortly after dawn, still wearing winter cloaks in the early spring chill of morning. Xellos adjusted the heavy leather bag at his hip and gripped his staff firmly as he walked along a few steps behind Lina. The sun shone warmly down upon them, and he found himself whistling tunelessly as birds flitted from tree to tree. They stopped briefly at a farmhouse, visiting the farmer who they were renting the cabin from and giving their regards to the farmer's mother. All in all, the trip seemed brief but pleasant, and they actually arrived in town more refreshed than they had been upon waking.  


It feels good to really be able to move about again, Lina sighed, stretching as they made their way towards the market and shops.  


It was a long winter, he replied mildly, scanning for an inn. Somehow I found it very bearable.  


Hmmm, wonder why, Lina said with a devious smile. Maybe I should live in cold, snowy places more often.  


Do you have a preference on where to stay? he asked, still looking about. Some of the townsfolk passing through were giving them odd looks, and he realized that they must seem strange indeed, with him in his black robes that hinted at priesthood, and Lina was very obviously a sorceress.  


Lina turned, examining their surroundings. Someplace off the main square, she replied. I don't want to be in the thick of things tomorrow night.  


he said, pointing down a side street with his staff. I hear there's a good place down that way.  


Then what are we waiting for? she asked, latching onto his arm and tugging him in that direction. Her fingers wound around his, and he wondered if dragging him was only an excuse to hold him in public. Whatever the reason, he let her lead him to an inn.  


Once inside, he walked directly to the counter and asked for a room. Two nights, please, he requested politely.  


The innkeep nodded. You and your wife in town for the festival? he asked, taking out a locked box and opening it.  


Xellos glanced at Lina, wondering if he should correct the man or not. She raised an eyebrow and blushed, but didn't say anything. Xellos replied. We are.  


Well, it's a good thing you young ones got here early, the man replied, shuffling through the box of keys. Town will be an absolute zoo tomorrow. What name shall I put this under?  


Xellos' eyes widened. He didn't have a last name. He had always been just Xellos. He sent a panicked look at Lina, who stepped forward. Xellos and Lina Inverse will be fine, thank you, she said sharply, glaring at Xellos, who blushed.  


The innkeeper eyed them for a few moments, standing silent. You two been together long? he asked.  


Er, only a few months, Xellos answered quickly. Since the autumn.  


The man behind the counter nodded and pushed a piece of paper at him, handing him a pen. Congratulations. Sign here. You'll also have to put down a damage deposit. Not that I don't trust people, but things tend to get rowdy during the festival.  


I understand, Xellos replied, and picked up the pen.  


Lina leaned over his shoulder, reading and snatched the paper away before he could sign anything. This is nuts! she said, brandishing the paper at the innkeep. You expect us to pay this for only two nights' stay? What do you make your furniture out of, solid gold?  


Oh, Lina dear, please, Xellos said, motioning with his hands.  


This is crazy, Xellos! Lina snapped, pointing violently at the paper. No one should pay this much for a room, ever!  


I'm sure the man has his reasons, Xellos said gently, trying to find a way to weasel the paper out of her hands.  


Hell no, Lina said, slamming the paper down on the counter. Strike the price by a third and you'll have a deal.  


But you'll get most of the sum back upon checking out, provided the room is undamaged, the innkeeper stammered.  


I don't care. You cut us some slack or I'll tell everyone that you run a disease-infested establishment!  


Xellos protested, brow wrinkled with alarm.   


You stay out of this, she hissed at him.  


Feisty wife you've got there, the innkeep said to him. Lots of spunk. Best of luck to you.  


Thank you, Xellos said dejectedly.  


About that price cut? Lina reminded the innkeep, her voice taking on a dangerous tone.  


Xellos sighed. Sir, I recommend you do what she says. My wife is a highly accomplished sorceress.  


I'd like to know why a priest has a wife at all, the innkeep said, becoming testy.  


Xellos grinned, turning on every ounce of harmless charm he could muster. I'm afraid I left the order when I met her, he explained. Please, she's very short-tempered.  


Who are you calling short-tempered! Lina screeched, pounding her fist on the counter. Am I going to get my good price or not?!  


Cut it by a quarter and we'll call it even, Xellos interjected.  


An eighth, the innkeep countered.  


Hell no! Lina shouted.  


A sixth, and that's the highest we'll go, Xellos said firmly, putting on his most disarming smile.  


The innkeep sighed. Okay, okay, he muttered, reaching over to the paper and scribbling in some new numbers. Sign here.  


Thank you very much,Xellos said brightly, signing the paper with his neat, flowing handwriting.  


We want a copy, Lina snapped.  


The innkeeper quickly filled out a new form and Xellos signed that one as well. he said with a raised eyebrow.  


Thank you! Lina said, her tone of voice not matching the sentiment of her words. Xellos took the key and put it in his pocket as he was towed upstairs by Lina once again. She found their room and entered, examining the paper she held. You have beautiful handwriting, she said, putting the paper down on the table.  


Thank you, he murmured, embarrassed at the scene she had caused downstairs.  


Xellos Inverse. . .has an interesting ring to it, she muttered. From now on, though, I think we need to find you a last name.  


I don't suppose I can use Metallium, he said with a sigh, leaning his staff against the wall and taking off the leather bag.  


No, too many people will associate that with the Dark Lords, Lina replied, hand on her chin as she thought. Oh well, I guess Inverse will have to do until we can think of something better. I do sort of like the fact that someone else has my name, though.  


Xellos laughed and shook his head. I'm glad it amuses you, he said.  


As if Lina Inverse would ever take a husband, she snickered.  


You wouldn't? I thought you desperately wanted to be married someday.  


I used to, years ago, before Hellmaster and Darkstar. Now, however, I don't think that the ceremony is worth the trouble. I don't want to be owned ever, you know?  


Xellos looked down at his gloved hands, remembering the feel of her skin beneath them and wondering what it would be like to be bound to her for the rest of their lives. I think that the man who would want to marry you would understand that you're no possession of his. If he wanted you to marry him, it would be because he loved you.  


Lina paused in her perusal of the room and shot him a level look. I am just as capable of loving someone outside of marriage as inside, she replied flatly.  


Well, perhaps the man would want to marry you out of simple pride, to let everyone know that of all the men in this world, he was the one that you picked.  


She raised an eyebrow and looked at him. What are you saying?  


He blushed and glanced out the window. Nothing, I guess, he said softly.  


she replied. Because I don't think I can ever choose between you.  


He didn't really catch what she said, but let it slide. She obviously wasn't comfortable talking about it, and he wasn't particularly at ease with the conversation either. Still, if she ever wanted him, he was hers. Perhaps it is time to go about our separate business, Lina dearest?  


She sighed and turned back to him, a big smile on her face. I think so. I'll meet you back here for dinner, all right?  


All right, he said, tucking his money purse inside his belt, and walked out the door.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Xellos was walking down the street several hours later, his new clothing in hand, when he passed a jewelry shop. He wouldn't have noticed it ordinarily, but there were several strange items in the window that he noticed had magical properties. Curious, he opened the door and went inside. From the street the shop had looked dusty and cluttered, but once inside he found everything impeccably clean and organized, with plenty of cheerful light streaming in through the windows. Looks can be deceiving, a little old man behind the counter said, sucking on a pipe.  


Xellos smiled mildly and looked through the cases. Lovely collection, he commented softly.  


Isn't it? Plenty of rare things in here. Are you looking for something in particular?  


Xellos straightened, putting his things down on the counter. I'm looking for something for my. . .wife, he said gingerly.  


What sort of price range? the little old man replied.  


Well, would you be willing to trade anything for these? Xellos asked, reaching into his cloak and taking out several stones.  


The old man picked one up and peered at it, looking at it through the light. These are just glass, he grumbled.  


Xellos cast about and found the man's jeweler's glass. Please, take another look, he urged, handing the glass to the man.  


The old man raised a bushy eyebrow and did as Xellos asked, gasping. These are flawless gemstones, he breathed. Where did you find these?  


I made them, Xellos replied. They are ready to be cut and set into jewelry, if that's what you see fit to do with them. They're also magical.  


  


Xellos replied. The red ones hold powerful physical protection spells, the green ones offer astral shields, and the blue ones hold light spells.  


What do you want for these?  


Xellos looked around. I'll choose first and then we can speak.  


Take your time.  


Xellos turned slowly, examining the multitude of cases. He should get Lina something pretty for the festival, but he also wanted something more meaningful. Walking around, he selected a comb made of carved firefly stone, the shaped, multicolored pieces creating a soft glow in the shape of a curled dragon. The vivid greens and blues would look marvelous in her hair. He kept walking around the cases until he saw, in a corner somewhat dusty, a pair of rings. They were on a little velvet pillow, tucked almost out of sight behind a large display of necklaces. The rings were a dull gold in color and simple in design. There was no ornamentation whatsoever on the exterior, but on the inside there were faded markings. Xellos looked more closely and realized that the language was an ancient one. Wherever the rings had come from, they were very, very old. The metal was strange, too. It looked like gold, but seemed much, much harder, and tickled the edges of his magic-sense. His eyes opened wide- could these rings be made of amurium? If they were, the likes of them hadn't been seen since the War of the Monster's Fall. Amurium had the unique ability to absorb a single spell and make it unbreakable for all time. The metal amplified and focused the spell, and anything cast on amurium would be a very, very difficult spell to interfere with. By the looks of it, the rings hadn't had a spell set on them yet, and he felt excitement leap in his chest. He wasn't sure what he would do with them, but he knew that when the time was right he would figure it out. I'll take that dragon comb and these two rings. I'll need two orihalcon chains to go with the rings as well.  


Those rings? Why would you want those old things?  


They suit me, was all Xellos would say.  


The old man shook his head and shuffled over to the case, drawing out the rings. Whatever you say, my boy, he grumbled.  


Will three of each color stone be fair? Xellos asked.  


More than fair, the old man replied. Even including the orihalcon chains.  


Be sure that they are pretty chains, please, Xellos called. He doubted that Lina would ever wear a ring on her hand, but she might do so on a chain around her neck.  


All my chains are pretty, the old man grumbled, leaning down and rifling through some boxes.  


Xellos looked around, excitement building in his chest. He couldn't believe he had made such an important and impossible find. Lina might not be the jewelry type, but once he explained the import and value of the ring, he was sure she would love it. Now, if only she'd hold onto it instead of selling it. Still, the rings had come in a pair, which was rare. They must have bee from the same forging, which was a rarer find still. He had to be certain to find a wonderful spell to cast in the rings and wait for the right moment to give it to her.  


the old man said, shoving several chains his way. Pick two.  


Xellos hummed to himself as his long, gloved fingers plucked deftly between the chains, picking two of the finest orihalcon. And here you are, he replied, pushing nine of his talisman jewels across the glass countertop toward the old man. Might I have the comb wrapped?  


The man nodded, sweeping the talisman gems into his palm. Right. For your wife? You two here for the festival?  


Er, yes to both questions, Xellos replied, sliding the chains through the rings and sealing them in a linen envelope before dropping them into his bag.  


Well, I hope you have a good time. This town knows how to put on a good party, the man answered, handing Xellos an exquisitely wrapped box. I think she'll like the comb.  


Thank you very much, Xellos said politely. I hope you can fetch a good price for the jewelry you can make from those stones.  


Oh, I have no doubt of that. You have a good day, now, the man said, and Xellos walked out the door.  


He spent the next few hours simply wandering around, looking at bookstores and shops. Magic was rare in the region, which he found ironic, with Lorander having been so close by. As he browsed through the bookstores, waiting for the hour to dine with Lina to arrive, he found several books of history and had a good chuckle over them. Having lived through most of what had been recorded, he found the mortal point of view quite interesting. He wondered if they ever even questioned the accuracy of their records, for what he had known was far different than what the books said. Still, it was interesting and educational for him, just not informative in the way the books' authors most likely hoped. Reading through the books, however, made him a bit nostalgic for the past, when every human being knew what a Monster was and what they were for. In fact, mortals had even known his name during the War.  


The town's clock struck and Xellos shut the book, shoving it back on the shelf as he rushed out of the shop. Lina would be furious if he was late. A glance at the sun's position told him that he didn't have long, and he'd never make it by running. Besides, he was laden with clothing and gifts, and racing along with them was quite cumbersome. Casting a quick spell, he took to the air, speeding along above the buildings as people gasped and pointed at him. He smiled mildly down on them, finally able to ignore the slow ache of loss using magic left him with. He landed lightly in front of the inn and dashed inside only to find Lina already waiting, hands on her hips and an angry stare fixed upon his face. he said as sweetly as he could, trying not to wince under her unwavering gaze of fury.  


she said coldly. You're late.  


Only two minutes, he said, wondering if she was going to cause a scene.  


That's two minutes that I could have been eating sooner, she hissed.  


Xellos glanced from side to side, his brow becoming warm as he realized people were starting to stare. I'm sorry, Lina dear, he said gently, laying his things on a chair and wrapping his arms about her.  


What the- she began, but was stopped when his lips met hers. She was tense at first, but her body slowly relaxed. When she was putty in his hands he tenderly released her, running his thumb over her full lower lip.  


Do you forgive me? he whispered.  


Lina blushed and growled something beneath her breath. she finally said.  


Xellos pulled out a chair for her and made sure she was seated. Go ahead and order, he said. I'm going to put these things upstairs.  


No peeking at my dress! she called after him and he waved in acknowledgement.  


By the time he returned, Lina was gesturing madly at the menu and talking animatedly to the waitress. And three of these, she finished up as he seated himself.  


And you, sir? the waitress said, veins standing out at her temples as she eyed Lina warily.  


Xellos sighed and glanced at the menu. Just the roast, please, he murmured, handing over his menu. The waitress nodded and left, leaving him to focus his attention on Lina. Did you find anything you like?  


I guess. Just the same old stuff. It had better be good.  


It's fairly good, but nothing compared with what's to come tomorrow.  


Dragon cuisine, Lina said, leaning back in her chair as her eyes glazed over.  


Uh, yes, he said slowly, putting his chin in his hand and listening to her prattle on about different kinds of food.  


The meals came and were immediately consumed by Lina. Xellos was surprised when Lina suddenly tried to attack his roast, but he was too quick for her, snatching the entire plate out of her grasp before she could spear anything. He wondered briefly how Gourry had managed to feed himself all the years he had stayed with the ravenous sorceress. Soon, however, Lina leaned back in her chair and patted her full belly. Oh, there's nothing like a full stomach, she sighed.  


Well, what would you like to do now? he asked, stacking the dishes neatly.  


Read and go to bed, she murmured, eyes drifting shut.  


I think I'll go for a walk, he replied. I'll be up in a while.  


Suit yourself, she said, and sighed again.  


Xellos stood and walked out the door into the moonlight. He pulled his cloak more closely around him, marveling that they had actually taken so long to eat. It was already full night, and as he looked up into the sky he realized that the moon would be full on the night of the festival. He wandered around town for quite some time, every once in a while stopping to watch the activity in the brightly lit houses. He saw old couples sitting quietly by the fire, sharing silent companionship, young couples that were never more than a few inches away from one another, no matter what the task, and people with families, mothers rounding up children as fathers held their offspring close. He wondered where he fit into all of that interaction. Of course, not many men were powerful sorcerers that used to be Monsters, nor were the women anything like Lina. As he wandered towards the river he found himself curious where he would end up. Would he be one of those old men sitting by the fire, grandchildren at his feet, or would he be a man who died young and violently in battle? Or would he simply just fade away, alone? He sat down on a rock and drew his knees up into his chest, reflecting. He had become comfortable with his humanity. Not happy, not by any means, but definitely comfortable. It seemed as if he had experienced the full gamut of the emotions he was capable of. He had felt the will to live leave him and then return with vigor, had nearly had his heart ripped from his chest when he thought Lina might be dead, had been gravely injured, had fallen ill, and felt great, great pain. There were also the good things, however, like having his nose buried in Lina's warm hair as she slumbered on his chest at night, or feeling her hand clasp his in the darkness. Some days her smile was all the light he needed in the world, and her body the only universe he needed to inhabit. What had happened to him, to feel so much? What that really what being human was all about? Was the brevity of their lives the reason all the feelings were so sharp and undeniable? Again the future loomed before him, and he shuddered at its enormity. As an immortal, oddly enough, he had never given thought to the future, not really. Having an eternity meant not worrying about the next few moments of existence. If things didn't go his way it was irritating, but ultimately tolerable, since he had forever, more often than not, to remedy the problem. Now, however, he wanted desperately for things to go the way he wanted them to. Nothing less would satisfy him. So what, exactly, did he want out of his life? Power? Fame? Fortune? If he wanted it, the world could be his. Even as a mortal he possessed magical power that surpassed any human that had ever lived. Lina was the only being that could even hope to fight against him, and he knew all her tricks while she had no idea about his true power. Yes, he could conquer the world with ease. However, what would he do with it once he had it? He didn't desire to control petty human lives, but now that he was human, he didn't know if he really wanted to destroy them. In fact, he had noted a change in the way his mistress thought after the Darkstar incident. She seemed to have realized that fighting with the gods was futile, since neither could ever win. The gods were dying off just as quickly as his previous race was. Humans, both good and evil, would be what determined the fate of the world.

  
The wind picked up off of the stream and blew through his cloak, chilling him. He looked up at the sky and shivered, gazing at the clear, cold stars floating on the sea of darkness above him. It was getting late, and he had been musing far too long. Lina was most likely not waiting for him, or even wondering where he was. It should have bothered him, but he knew it was simply a sign of trust on her part. She respected him enough to think that he could take care of himself, and he recognized that. In fact, it was one of the things he liked about her. Lina would never coddle anyone.  


He nodded at the innkeeper once he returned and crept up the stairs, boots clomping on the wood despite his best efforts to be quiet. The inn was full to capacity, and he really didn't want to deal with waking anyone up. He found his room and slipped inside, locking the door behind him and leaning against it. Lina was curled up on the bed, a fire in the fireplace slowly winding its way towards being mere embers. A book rested near her head, her waves of coppery hair spilling over its pages. She looked so vulnerable sleeping there. It was hard to believe that in the next moment she could be filling the room with fire, or flailing about with blade and fist. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, smoothing the hair away from her face. Taking the book and closing it, he set it down on the bedside table and turned back to her, tracing her lovely features with his finger. He gently and quickly removed most of her clothing, leaving her only in her undergarments, and picked her up easily. He unfolded the bed covers and laid her inside, undressing himself before crawling in beside her. She turned to him and blinked sleepily. You never have worn underwear, have you? she murmured, then dozed off again.  


He smiled and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms about her and inhaling the scent of her hair deeply. Her breathing slowed and she nestled against him in her sleep. He ran his hands over the soft skin of her arms and sighed his contentment, knowing that for all his musings and wonderings, the now was all that really mattered. Lina was real, and for the moment he had her. The rest would come in time, he just knew it.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

They spent the day of the festival wandering among the booths, admiring the crafts on display. There were several wandering magicians doing cheap tricks at several spots in town, and Lina scoffed at all of them. Xellos kept his amusement private, wondering what the point of parties and festivals was at all. Musicians and storytellers were on the prowl as well, and even pockets of intellectuals and philosophers had gathered to exchange ideas and opinions. Lina gorged herself fully on dragon cuisine, Xellos looking into his purse and sighing as he found it seemingly emptying itself. Still, Lina was having such a splendid time he found it hard to complain. Besides, there were some truly amazing confectioners at the event, and sweets were his absolute favorite. The morning and afternoon passed pleasantly, and as the sun set it was time for the real festival to begin.  


He dressed in the changing rooms of the bathhouse, since Lina wouldn't let him anywhere near their room as she got ready. He dressed quickly in his suit, which was made of black wool woven so fine that it moved as smoothly as silk over his trim frame. He adjusted the cuffs and collar of his shirt, which really was silk. The wine-purple of the shirt offset the color of his eyes perfectly, and he liked the way his reflection greeted him, dashing and slightly evil, from the mirror. He thought for a moment about tying the black cravat around his neck and pinning it with the ruby tack they had given him, but in the end stuffed it in with his old clothes. He liked the open collar better- it wasn't as formal, and he preferred to fly in the face of convention. Besides, he knew Lina appreciated his throat, and it wouldn't hurt to tantalize her for a change. As he gazed into the looking glass he knew he cut a handsome figure; the cut of the suit accentuated the broad musculature of his shoulders and slender waist. Oh yes, he would knock them dead tonight, he thought as he ran a comb through his heavy, silky hair. When he was finished he called an attendant and directed them to take his old clothes to his room and inquire about Lina's state of readiness. The boy came back with a hand print on his face and the message that Xellos could just sit and cool his heels until she was damn well ready to come down. Xellos sighed, telling the boy that he should have knocked before going into the room, and sent him off with a coin. He wandered into the common room, where he was exchanging smiles with some of the single women, when he heard a step on the stairs.  


He turned and looked in the direction of the steps, his mouth falling slightly open as he saw her. Lina was walking demurely down the stairs, eyes cast downward as she descended. Her feet were clad in black velvet slippers with just the slightest of heels, and the dress she wore was made entirely of wine-colored silk, nearly the same color as his shirt. The gown was sleeveless and sleek, not billowing out at the waist as so many dresses did, instead accentuating her slenderness. It followed her curves all the way down to her calves, where it flared out slightly before dangling just below her ankle. Her hair was curled and piled on top of her head, ruby earrings sparkling from her earlobes. The pale sheen of her skin contrasted sharply with the dark red-purple of the dress, and her entire being seemed to shimmer softly as she walked. He wanted very much to run his fingers from her exposed shoulder to where her elbow-length gloves began, and even though he wanted her suddenly and very badly, she looked too stunning in her outfit for him to even consider getting her undressed. After long moments she reached the bottom of the stairs and raised her eyes, ruby meeting amethyst. He watched as her gaze swept over his figure and her cheeks stained with a gentle blush. Oh yes, his attire was having an effect on her as well. He went over to her and took her hand, bowing slightly as he bent to kiss it. You look stunning, he whispered. You're enough to make a man give up immortality.  


I was before I put this on, she murmured archly, allowing him to take her hand and escort her through the room.  


Still, it's missing something, he mused as he walked her to the door.  


She scowled, ruining the demure affect of her accouterments. What's that supposed to mean? she growled.  


It means that you need this, he said, producing the dragon comb.  


Where did you get it? she breathed. This is fabulous! It looks like a Fantini, but he only made twenty or so hair ornaments!  


Xellos' eyes widened, unaware that he had chosen so well. No wonder the shopkeeper he had purchased it from had seemed pleased. I'm glad you like it, he said, placing it gently in her hair so that it caught the light just right.  


It's wonderful, she murmured, fingering the comb.   


You're welcome, he began, but fell silent as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe, kissing him. It was the first time she had ever made the move to kiss him in public and he felt his insides quiver like gelatin.  


Let's get dinner, she said, taking hold of his arm and letting him guide her to the town square.  


Once there, they found a table underneath the tent, the perimeter of torches and large fire in the middle making the chilly spring night bearable for less than insulating attire. Your husband is just gorgeous, one woman of a group said to Lina. Are there more like him where you come from?  


Lina blushed and glanced up at him. Oh, I'm afraid he's one of a kind, she said softly. Sorry, girls.  


The group of women laughed gaily and moved off into the crowd, some dispersing to find partners. Xellos smiled and looked down at Lina, who was still blushing furiously. Husband, eh?  


Lina's blush deepened. Well, I've been called your damn wife enough times on this trip to choke a horse, she said, but there was no sharpness in her tone. He smiled gently at her and an awkward silence grew between them, the air heavy with words that would never be said. He knew that it wasn't her way to speak about what she felt, and he really had no idea what was going on. He only knew he was enjoying it.  


Let's eat, he said with apprehension. He didn't want to picture Lina eating at such a formal event. How many plates would you like me to order for you?  


Just one, she replied, sitting down gracefully in the chair he pulled out for her.  


Only one? he gasped, wide-eyed. Are you well, Lina dear?  


She frowned slightly at him and nodded. I already ate, actually, she grumbled softly. I figured they'd probably give us pretty puny portions at this thing.  


Well, the food is a delicacy at this festival, Xellos replied, making sure she was situated. Besides, you don't want to be too full to dance.  


There's dancing? she said, suddenly paling a bit.  


Of course. It's a festival, he explained, beginning to move off.  


But you don't want to dance, right?  


He paused, turning to look at her. She was grasping the edge of the table tightly, and despite the covering of the gloves he knew that her nails would soon be turning white from the pressure. I thought it would be fun, actually, he replied.  


Dancing's silly, she said indignantly.  


A slow smile crept across his face and he turned to face her, crossing his arms over his waist. You don't know how to dance, do you?  


Shut up! I do so!  


Then you must not be very good at it, he said, his grin widening.  


Shut up and go get my food, she snapped, turning away from him and hunching her shoulders.  


Very well, he chuckled, and did as she asked.  


He sat, watching her finish up her meal, when the music started. Leaning back in his chair, he observed the gathering crowd until he was able to surmise where the single women were amassing. Are you certain you don't want to dance? he asked, looking out at the couples beginning to move slowly underneath the tent.  


Dancing is for morons, she snapped, turning her nose up in the air.  


He shrugged and rose smoothly, straightening his coat as he did so. Well, if that's how you feel about it, he replied, and moved off towards the single women. He could feel her eyes burning a hole in his back and a satisfied smile crept over his face. He chose a voluptuous blonde from the flock and moved her onto the dance floor, keeping his eyes away from the deep cleft of her bosom. The music picked up the tempo and he glided off with the blonde, twisting and turning through the throng of dancers, then choosing another well-endowed woman for the next dance. It wasn't long before he saw Lina come up behind the woman and tap her on the shoulder.  


Excuse me, Lina snapped, But get the hell away from my man.  


Is he your husband? the woman replied archly, gripping Xellos more tightly.  


Lina blinked and stammered for a moment. Well, he-  


Because I don't see a ring, honey, the woman replied.  


Xellos winced, waiting for Lina to clock the woman, but instead she took a deep breath. What we share transcends such petty material attachments, she stated coldly. Now remove your hands from him.  


The woman sniffed and pushed away from Xellos, Lina quickly taking her place. He saw her sneak a look down at her own cleavage, then bare her teeth at the departing female. Did I do something wrong? he asked mildly, masking his glee.  


Shut up, she snarled. You're here with me.  


A laugh escaped him, threading above the music and up into the heights of the tent. Do you really think I'd have it any other way? he chortled. It was you who didn't want to dance.  


I changed my mind, she said angrily. Now dance, dammit.  


He felt the tension in her grip and suddenly crushed her to him, looking down into her eyes. Relax and follow me, he murmured. We'll have you dancing in no time.  


I can dance fine, she replied. I just don't often dance like this.  


You'll be fine, he reassured her. As talented as you are at everything else, I think this will be a snap for you.  


Of course, she said with a toss of her head.  


He took her hand and pressed her to him with his other arm, feeling her breasts shoved up against his chest. The music slowed and he held her, moving in slow circles until she learned to read his movements and relaxed. The melody seemed to wrap around them and hold them suspended in time, and he looked into her eyes, feeling lost within their depths. he whispered. You are very special to me.  


I know. I always have been, she replied.  


It was only a few hours until dawn before the crowds began to disperse. The torches were put out and people gathered their cloaks, moving off to bed. Xellos ran his fingers over the silken curve of her shoulder, her skin gleaming softly in the silvery light of the moon. He leaned down and kissed her flesh, his lips warm upon her skin. See, you dance wonderfully, he murmured, watching from half-lowered lids as a flush bloomed up her neck.  


she replied huskily, her nipples showing through the thin fabric of her dress.  


Shall we retire? he asked, offering her his hand.  


she whispered, taking his extended appendage.  


He gripped her hand and whipped her to him, pulling her into his arms and hefting her as if she weighed nothing. Then let's go, he murmured, and carried her all the way back to the inn.  


He laid her gently on the bed, running his fingers under the strap of her dress and kissing the place where her pulse beat away in her neck. 

she moaned, arching against him.  


He closed his eyes and sighed against her as her deft fingers came up and began to undo the buttons of his shirt, sliding her hand over his taut pectoral muscles. He shrugged out of his jacket and ran his hand up her smooth leg, resting it on her hip underneath her dress. She flicked her tongue against the corner of his mouth and he kissed her deeply, his tongue sliding like hot glass against hers. She made a small noise and writhed slightly, burying her hands in his thick hair and pulling him to her. He reached up and pulled the comb and pins out of her hair, sighing as the fiery lengths spilled over the pillows. She slid the shirt off of his shoulders, gripping his muscles tightly. It wasn't long before their outfits were strewn on the floor. Xellos lit the logs in the fireplace with a gesture and slid down next to Lina under the covers, closing his eyes to better experience the feeling of her body against his. He knew that he could live a million years more and never experience anything quite as intense as what he felt when he was with her. His lips played over her skin, her fingers answering him, and the lines between then began to blur. He felt a deep peace as he lifted her legs over his shoulders, watching her face as he gently entered her. Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back, inhaling slowly and deeply. He began to move inside of her, watching her expression and feeling the world around them fading away. They became the only two beings in the universe, and within that universe they even ceased to be two separate people. He had no words to describe what he felt when he was with her, nor did he think he would ever find them. As they came together and collapsed, sweating and shaking, he wondered if she felt the same way. Her hands came up and rested on his cheeks, pulling his face to hers in a deep kiss. After she released him he stared into her eyes, and in their sparkling depths he knew that he wasn't alone in his awe of the intensity of the situation. No more words needed to be said, and he laid his silken head down on her chest, letting her run her fingers through his heavy hair. The feeling that something very special had happened between them that night pervaded him, and with that sensation within him he fell asleep, listening to the beating of her heart.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

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Come on! Lina called, waiting for him to begin walking again. He was standing in the middle of the road, staff in hand, and staring at the little cabin they were leaving behind. She watched as the wind blew his cape to and fro, his dark-clothed frame stark against the lush spring landscape of the mountains. The expression on his face was unreadable as he studied the place they had called home for seven months, and she wondered what he was thinking. Actually, she wondered that often. Sometimes she would catch him staring off into space, an oddly cold look on his sculpted features. For the millionth time since she started journeying with him she compared him to Gourry. Where the swordsman was thick, Xellos was slender and wiry, strong without being bulky. Xellos was quick efficiency in every single one of his movements, and she had actually come to enjoy watching the machinations of his mind behind his clear, amethyst eyes. She liked to think that her curiosity about him had been satisfied, but she knew that would never be the case. There was more to him than she would ever know, and that fact just made her want to try even harder. He answered her on so many levels, and she knew that he understood her mind and her body.  


However, just because he was now a human didn't mean that he understood her heart. Gourry was the only person who had ever seemed to comprehend the way her heart worked, and at times she longed for that. She had to remind herself however, that Gourry had never even had an inkling of how her mind worked, nor of how to enjoy her body to the fullest. Well, Xellos had that down to an art, that was for certain. She had never felt the way he made her feel when they were making love. It was as if she could let the rest of her life go and live in the moment whenever he was inside of her. He seemed to trust her, and she grudgingly admitted that she trusted him in return. That didn't stop her from worrying about the future. The festival, for example, had blown her mind. She didn't know where an ex-Monster like Xellos had learned to dance, but he had done it excellently and with flair, even able to cover for her mistakes. He had looked like some warped fairy tale prince, tall and handsome in his tailored suit, with his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and sultry smile that could slay a woman from a dozen yards away. He had still looked exciting and dangerous, however, with the collar of his shirt hanging open and his hair blowing loose in the wind. He was a beautiful demon of a man, and sometimes she wondered if all the Monster was truly gone from him.  


she called again, growing impatient. What was taking him so long? He looked at the cabin one last time and turned to her, his customary mild smile on his face. She had come to think of it as the expression he used when he wanted to hide something, and she wondered if he was even aware he was doing it.  


I'm sorry, he said gently, catching up with her. I was just thinking what a nice little home that was for the winter.  


A twinge of something caught at her insides and she actually had to make an effort not to wince. It was nice, too nice, and that scared her. The cabin actually had felt like home, and it had been difficult to leave the cocoon of domesticity she and Xellos had made for themselves. The problem was that she could actually see herself years down the road, still traveling with him. If anyone could help her realize her ambitions, it would be him. Still, stray thoughts of Gourry snuck in every so often, and she knew that she missed him. Well, don't let it slow you down, she said sharply. I'd like to get there soon. At least it will be warmer.  


Yes, it should be quite lovely this time of year, he replied, putting his hand on hers.  


She smiled up at him against her will, adoring and hating simultaneously the warmth his touch spread through her entire being. She wanted to give in to him very badly, but something within her wouldn't allow her to. She didn't know what was holding her back. If he was going to really lay claim to her, he would have done so already. Even though he had played along with their marriage charade in town, he had never once brought it up for real, and she knew he never would. For an ex-Monster he was very unpossessive, instead preferring to follow her lead. It was strange, for although Gourry had never asked her to do anything or be anything, she always got a sense that he wanted more of her. There was never that sort of pressure from Xellos. In fact, just being near her made him happy. What frightened her was that just being near him, now that he was human and had no ulterior motives, made her happy as well. He was what she had always wanted in a man, and the fact that he hadn't always been human slipped her mind more and more often of late. The prospect of him being around for a long time to come was oddly comforting, and it was great to actually have someone to hold intelligent, complex conversations with. She hated to admit it, but she was learning a lot from him, not only about magic and history, but also about herself.  


Let's go, she said, and squeezed his hand.  


A month later they were still on the road, winding their way southward. They had passed through many small villages and a couple of large cities, sometimes stopping to see if there were any interesting old books to be found. Their searching yielded nothing, however, and so they continued to work their way down the coast. She awoke every morning with her head resting on his chest, safe and warm in the gentle, strong embrace of his arms. The feeling of his long, muscular limbs wrapped around her thrilled her every day, and she loved coming awake to the steady beating of his heart. He was an absolute angel when asleep, his heavy, dark hair spilling over the pillows like the silk of night. She adored his pale throat and the way his Adams apple jutted out ever so slightly, his pulse visible as it beat away. His elegant, powerful fingers always rested reverently on the skin of her shoulder, and when she went to sleep at night she found herself looking forward to waking in his arms. The moment when those deeply amethyst eyes found hers in the morning light thrilled her without fail, and she felt she could live her entire life and never truly know what went on in their depths. Xellos simply had so much history that she was fairly certain she would never tire of his company.  


She walked along, lost in thought, only dimly aware of his quiet footfalls behind her on the road. he said quietly, voice strained, and put a hand on her shoulder.  


she replied sharply, annoyed that he interrupted her musings until she saw the look on his face. It reminded her of when he was a Monster. She had only seen it a few times, but it was the same expression of quiet, tense study that he had worn during their battle with Darkstar. Something was very wrong, and the fact that he seemed so alert frightened her.  


he repeated, his grip on her tightening as his dark eyes scanned the woods. His fingers wound more firmly around his staff and he took off his leather bag, handing it to her. Reaching into a pocket, he pressed some stones into her hands. Here, take these, he whispered, looking past her through the trees and down to the shoreline. They amplify healing spells, but since I don't know any, they'll do you more good.  


But what- she began, but he silenced her with a finger against her lips. She scowled and prepared to tan his hide, but the look of intense, fearful concentration stopped her cold. His face was pale and drawn beneath his thick bangs.  


Something's following us, he murmured, stepping between her and the sea protectively.  


She clutched his bag to her and quickly searched the trees. It was starting to bother her, too. There was something strange in the air, making the hair on the back of her neck rise. Something was coming for them.  


Stay still, he warned softly, pushing her behind him and lowering into a battle stance.  


She opened her mouth to protest but instead jumped back as a dark streak barreled out of the woods, engaging Xellos immediately. Xellos brought up his staff and blocked the blow, teeth bared as his hair and cloak billowed backward in the wind created by the attack. A flurry of blows was exchanged, the pace so quick she could barely follow it. She was impressed by Xellos' hand to hand skills, and his speed was even better than Gourry's. He didn't have the might to inflict the same kind of damage that the swordsman did, but she wagered his technique was just as good. Xellos with a staff and Gourry with a sword would have been an interesting match.  


She gasped, eyes wide, as Xellos took a hit, rolling backwards into a standing position. He wiped at the cut in his cheek with the back of his glove, ignoring the wound. he hissed, eyes narrowed dangerously as he crouched defensively.  


I've come for your life, Xellos, the attacker said, straightening, and Lina saw that it was a rather nondescript man in shabby clothing.  


I wish I could tell you it was a pleasure to see you again, Easwied, but I have a feeling we both know that would be something other than the truth, Xellos said coldly, standing up to his full height.  


Save your words, the man replied. You'll pay for helping a human to kill Orkalym and Anemony.  


Lina's eyes widened as she realized the man before her must be a Monster, one of Deep Sea Dolphin's. Was he another one of her generals or priests? It would be one of Anemony's lackeys who would throw themselves into a battle they know they can't win, Xellos replied with a cold smirk. Lina shuddered at the look on his face, wondering if there wasn't some Monster left in him still. So, the new Monster was one of Anemony's goons. From what she could tell, Xellos and Deep Sea's priestess hadn't gotten along at all.  


Easwied laughed, the sound harsh and grating. Have you forgotten, Xellos? he asked. You're no longer a rival of the Dark Lords in power. You're just a mere human.  


A mere human defeated Phibrizzo, you know, Xellos said emotionlessly, raising his staff.  


I've heard the story, the Monster replied, And I am not impressed. Besides, the human could never have defeated Anemony without your assistance.  


You would do well to remember my assistance. Now how did you find me? Xellos said, voice for the first time hinting at underlying anger.  


That's a secret, Easwied grinned, and Xellos went pale.  


I can't believe it, he murmured. You asked, and she told you.  


Of course. Monsters stick together, and now you're only a human.  


Xellos held up a hand, palm downward, and chanted something under his breath. Lina looked around, feeling enormous power building up, chilling her to the bone. She had no idea what he was casting, and yet it was gigantic. Kroi Fahn, Xellos said softly, and Lina barely had time to throw up a wall spell before it hit. The ground opened up in long, angry cracks, lava bursting from the cracks and sailing into the air. A ball formed a few meters above Easwied's head, quivering for a second before raining down upon him with crushing force at the same time rock spikes burst from the earth. Lina held her forearm in front of her eyes as the spell exploded, rocking the ground around them, trees burning and falling in every direction. When the smoke cleared she could see Xellos standing calmly, eyes focused on the point where the Monster had stood. A second later she could see the figure of his adversary step through the smoke and fire, a cold smile on his face. His clothes were badly singed, but he seemed otherwise unharmed. Xellos' expression twisted slightly, marring his sculpted features. I will not let you win, he told the Monster.  


I doubt you have a choice, Easwied replied, and Lina realized that the Monster was nearly as strong as Anemony had been. The Monster phased out just like Xellos used to do, and her lover turned slowly, eyes searching.  


Lina gasped as the Monster rematerialized directly behind Xellos, aiming a blow right for the back of his head. Xellos closed his eyes and leaned to the side, the strike missing him by a mere inch. He raised his staff and it began to glow with a terrible light, sparking as he plunged it into the Monster's midsection. Easwied snarled and fell back, rubbing his stomach. Lina's gut turned as the Monster began to shift forms, twisting into a tall, webby creature with slick skin. It was just the sort of thing she would expect to come from the sea. Nice try, but I'm afraid you'll have to do better than that.  


Xellos didn't reply, just turned and gazed at his adversary flatly, dark eyes betraying nothing. Lina felt a shiver race down her spine. Whatever spells Xellos had just used, they were nearly as powerful as the Dragon Slave, and yet they had no effect whatsoever on the Monster. Easwied was far too quick for her to use the Ragna Blade on, and she had no desire to alert the Monsters to the product of her research. If Xellos couldn't defeat him she had no idea what she was going to do. As the thought materialized in her mind, he turned to her and opened his hand, fingers spread. She stared right into his eyes and realized that he had no idea how the battle would end. He hadn't lost confidence, though, and before she knew what was going on he had encased her in a Ray Wing and sent her soaring over the tops of the trees, away from him. She shouted and pounded against the spell, unable to break it and terrified that she could not. If his power as a human was so great, what must it have been like as a Monster? She recalled the amount of energy he had managed to summon while fighting Darkstar, and even then he must have had reserves left. She was suddenly very, very glad that he had never turned against her. She had about as much of a chance defeating him as she did a Dark Lord, which meant a successful Giga Slave or nothing at all.  


An explosion rocked the bubble she was encased in and she fell backwards, eyes wide as a ring of destruction a mile wide radiated from Xellos' form, baring the earth all the way to the dirt. The Monster howled and fell back, wounded, but not badly. Xellos seemed like an ant next to the large, wet form of Easwied, and it didn't help that she was too far up to really see what was going on anyway. If Xellos was tossing around spells like that and was still having to effect, she really didn't see what chance she had.  


The next spell he cast was one she recognized, a Blast Bomb. It leveled the already-bare countryside, and she was glad that no one lived within miles of that portion of the coastal road. Xellos had hurt the beast enough that it could no longer maintain a human physical form, but he didn't seem to be having as much luck with its natural physical form. He threw spell after spell at it and still was making no obvious headway. She pressed her hands against the bubble she was in and held her breath, desperately trying to see what was happening. Xellos' tall, dark, and slender form moved quickly, engaging the Monster, and soon she could no longer tell them apart. The air shimmered strangely around her, and she knew that he was attempting astral attacks. Easwied's astral form was too strong even for Xellos' great power, and soon the bubble she was encased in began to quiver and fade, a sign that Xellos' strength was waning. Of course it was leaving him- he was used to having an unlimited source of energy, and as a human was becoming drained quickly. she screamed, bursting away from his spell and levitating downwards. She landed just in time to see the Monster rip its claws down Xellos' arm, spraying the ground with his blood as his staff fell to the side and he crumpled. The human screamed in pain as Easwied slowly picked him up, Xellos' arm flopping uselessly at his side. Xellos narrowed his eyes at his opponent, the rest of his face remaining static and cold as blood ran down from his hairline and over his pale cheek.  


she screamed, her raw cry ripping from her lungs as the Monster dug its claws into Xellos' stomach, slowly rotating its hand. Xellos bellowed in pain, gripping the the arm that held him by the collar weakly. His fingers tightened around the enemy appendage and he hoarsely whispered some words, and suddenly the whole world seemed to explode with light. Lina shrank back and covered her eyes, dropping Xellos' bag. He had tried a flare spell and failed. Her heart constricted in her chest as she saw his body sail through the air, landing with a wet thud on the dirt. Easwied howled and clawed at its eyes and she took the opportunity to dash over to Xellos' side. She dropped to her knees in the dirt beside him, reaching for him and gasping when her hands encountered warm, sticky dampness. She pulled her gloves away and choked back a scream as she saw they were covered with blood. she groaned between clenched teeth, pulling his limp form into her lap, heedless of the blood that stained her clothing. She gripped him tightly, feeling his breath coming in shallow, ragged gasps, his muscles spasming weakly. Don't you dare leave me, she moaned, tears welling up in her eyes. It felt as if someone had taken a knife and shoved it clean through her chest, shattering her ribs and removing all her organs. Her whole body was full of fearful aching, and she knew that she didn't want to lose him, not after what they had been through together. He meant something to her, he meant a lot to her, and as he faded from life's grip she knew that she cared deeply for him, maybe even loved him, after all their months together. He might not understand her heart, but he understood her mind and her soul, and that was more than any other man had done, and more than any other man would ever do.  


Move, human, a deep voice grated, the sound ugly against the pounding of blood in her ears. She clutched Xellos to her tightly, tears still on the verge of spilling. You'll get your turn in a moment.  


Don't discount us yet, she hissed, looking up at Easwied hatefully. The Monster laughed and she gazed down at Xellos, who slowly raised his arm and touched his bloody fingers to her cheek.  


The pain is fading now, dearest Lina, he whispered. I'm sorry...there were things I wanted to tell you. . .  


She gently laid Xellos back down, watching as his eyes began to become glassy. I'm the one who defeated Phibrizzo and Deep Sea Dolphin's minions, she said to the Monster, rage burning through her. No one hurt someone she cared about and got away with it. The last time someone had threatened the man she loved she had destroyed him with the power of the Lord of Nightmares, and this time she was far better prepared. It was as good a time as any to test out what she had learned in the Library of Lorander.   


So, it was you, Easwied said with a toothy smile. I've heard of you.  


It's the last thing you'll ever hear of, she snarled, and raised her hand.  


I think not, the Monster growled, sinking into a crouch and launching himself at her in a whirlwind attack.  


Bonds of darkness, heed my call and take strength from my spirit, she muttered, and began her spell.  


Easwied collapsed mere centimeters from her face, sinking into the dirt, twitching occasionally. he hissed, fishlike eyes shut in pain.  


I'll never tell, she said with a cruel smile, and gestured upward with her hand, casting the second part of her spell. Easwied screamed in agony, his physical body twitching every which way as she partitioned off his astral form. Her breath came harder as she sweated with the effort of controlling the spells. Give me strength, she whispered, closing her eyes and chanting her final spell.  


the Monster shouted.  


Ragna Blade! Lina screamed as the dark sword came into being between her hands. With a feral yell she raised the blade of dark energy above her head and brought it down with all her might on the prone form of the Monster. A tremendous screech echoed across the scorched earth, sparks flying everywhere as she cleaved Easwied's body in two. There was a flash of light before a dark mist began to rise from the Monster's form, and soon nothing of it remained but a charred patch of dirt. Lina fell to her knees, panting. It had worked, her spells had worked. She coughed, feeling bile and blood rise at the back of her throat. She had beaten a Monster all by herself.  


She heard a wheezing noise behind her, and remembered that Xellos had considerably weakened the Monster before she took it on. she cried out, stumbling across the dirt to him. She fell several times before she made it to his side, gently pulling him into her lap.  


He blinked up at her, trying to speak but unable to summon the energy. he finally managed to wheeze, and in his eyes she saw everything he wanted to say to her.  


I know, she murmured. I know, now.  


He smiled faintly and sighed, his head rolling to the side as his eyes slid shut.  


she whispered, looking down into his face with horror. She shook him gently, but there was no response. Frantically checking his pulse, she found it weak and thready, but still there. A healing spell came to her lips and she immediately began to cough up blood. Oh no, she was too weak to cast the spell, she realized, feeling sick. She only had one chance to save him, and she was too spent to do it. She would lose someone she cared about simply because she didn't have the energy. A cold, nameless pain ripped through her and she curled around his body, which seemed to be growing colder by the second. The ground was so soaked with his blood that she could actually hear it squelch beneath her as she shifted her weight, and she choked back the tears she felt burning behind her eyes. She cradled his head in her arms as she rocked back and forth. It couldn't end this way, it just couldn't..  


It was then that she remembered his bag and the stones he had pressed into her hand. She set him down gently and crawled over to the discarded leather bag, desperately rifling through the compartment she had dropped the stones into. Her fingers encountered their smooth surfaces, and she took the whole lot over to him, setting them all on his chest. Please, hold on, she muttered, wishing dearly that she had Amelia's skill with white magic. She had to save Xellos, she just had to. she choked, putting everything she had into the spell, and the stones began to glow a sulfurous yellow.   


The stones ignited with power, nearly throwing her backward. She shut her eyes against the wind created by the amplified spell, absolutely floored by the power of the talismans. Xellos' body twitched and rose a few inches above the ground, lost in the light from the stones. She didn't even wait for the stones to fade once his body dropped back to the dirt. Her power was completely spent, and she felt consciousness begin to slip away from her. Using the last of her strength, she crawled over to his still form and rested her head on his stomach, tightly gripping his hand. 

she murmured, and blackness rose up and claimed her.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

He sat next to the fire, prodding the burning timbers with a stick as he watched her silently. She was still unconscious and he was starting to worry. It had been several hours since he had come to, Lina resting her head on his abdomen amongst every single white magic talisman he owned. She had certainly gone all out for him, that was for certain.  


As he looked down at her, he wondered if she would have used those new spells on him, had he still been a Monster. He had still been conscious for the whole ordeal and had seen what she did. Even though he could no longer actually see on the astral plane, his senses concerning that state of being were still unnaturally sharp. The first spell she had cast bound Easwied's astral form, restricting all movement on that plane. It was a simple spell, but required quite a bit of power to maintain. Lina obviously had that power. It was more effective the larger the astral body, actually, which was why it had worked so well. He was not surprised that a fool like Easwied had been bound by it.  


The second spell she had woven stretched the Monster's astral form, tightening it into segments, much like he had seen butchers section off sausages. The second spell hadn't been as clean- she must not have perfected it yet. Still, it divided the Monster's power somewhat, which was, as he knew, an excruciating experience. He wondered if she was aware of how much astral division hurt. He had thought he was going to be obliterated altogether when his mistress separated him from his astral form when turning into a human, it was so painful. Lina had assured Easwied an agonizing death when she cast the second spell.  


With the astral body trapped and somewhat segmented, it was easy to destroy the whole thing with a spell like the Ragna Blade. A Rah Tilt would have worked as well, since the second spell basically turned one big, strong astral form into several little ones. Once Lina had divided Easwied, even one of her friends, like Zelgadis or Amelia, could have destroyed the Monster. It wouldn't work as well on a Dark Lord, since their astral forms were most likely too big for even the segmentation spell to be completely successful, but it would have helped a lot. She had almost tried a third spell, he had felt it, but hadn't known for certain what it was supposed to do. He suspected that it would disintegrate the astral segments of a Monster's body, but he couldn't be sure. He was, however, suddenly far more confident that he knew what was in the books she was looking for.  
A cold shiver ran the length of his spine and he looked at her passionlessly, not knowing how he felt. A part of him understood the logic of her quest; after all, most of his former race was out to get her, and it only made sense for her to try and protect herself and those she cared about. However, she was using that spell against his former people, and although Monsters didn't really care about one another, they still felt loyalty to the race. He might be a human at present, but he hadn't always been that way, and it was difficult to bear watching a human defeat one of his previous kind. It was also hard to swallow that a mere human had beaten a Monster, even one of Easwied's power, not to mention that he, who still had significantly more power than she did, had not even come close to defeating his opponent. And, to top it all off, it was his former mistress who had tipped the Monster off to his whereabouts. That meant two things: one, she was watching him and knew where he was at all times, and two, she most likely had some other purpose in mind when she sent Easwied on his trail. He scowled into the night, stirring the embers at the edge of the fire with his stick. Damn them all; wasn't there anyone in this world that he could count on?  


A wry smile crossed his face, but it held no humor. He hadn't needed to count on anyone when he was a Monster. Now, however, the game had changed. Humans needed one another, and he was one of them. He realized that he finally understood why Lina was so much more powerful than most other humans. Lina counted on her friends to watch her back, and they did so. Together they were far more formidable than a lone human. Just look at what they had accomplished as a team. He had been a part of that team, whether he had been aware of it or not. Still, now that he knew for certain what Lina was up to, could he rely on her? He wasn't sure what the worst part of his penance for his mistakes was- to be punished for his actions against his own kind, the loss of his power and his immortality, or to come to understand that even the people that one held dearest were capable of deception. Oh, there were ugly, ugly sides to humanity, as dark and unholy as any Monster. Humans, it seemed, were both angels and demons.  


He sighed and glanced over at Lina again. So she hadn't betrayed him, exactly. In fact, he owed her his life. He had seen the tears form in her eyes, and she had fought so hard to protect him. He actually meant something to her, he realized, and she meant the same to him. It was time to let it go entirely, he decided. He had a choice: he could worry about the ramifications of her spell against the Monster race, and decide to turn against her out of loyalty to a people that was no longer loyal to him, or he could join her and finally embrace his humanity. It was a simple choice, really, life with Lina or life without Lina. As he lay dying in the dirt, body wracked with pain and mild shock that he actually had blood, that he was actually bleeding to death, his mind had turned to all the small moments he had shared with her over the past months, such as the feel of her breath on the skin of his chest, or her hand in his. Hovering on the edge of oblivion, he decided that it had been worth it. All the horror, disappointment, and pain of being human was worth being with her. He knew that she was the only person he would ever be able to feel that for.  


And so, as he sat by the fire and studied the woman that had changed his life, he chose Lina. At that moment she stirred softly, groaning and holding her head. After a few minutes she sat up slowly, wincing at the bright light from the fire. She seemed to come back to consciousness fully and looked around, eyes frantic until they came to rest on him. He smiled at her gently and she staggered to her feet, face beaming. she cried, and lurched over to him, falling into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. He hugged her back, closing his eyes and listening to her breathe. Yes, it was worth it. She was the right choice to make.  


Suddenly she leaned back and grabbed him by the collar, shaking him back and forth for all he was worth. Don't you ever do something stupid like that again! she shouted, baring her teeth. I almost lost you, do you know that?  


But, Lina dearest, he protested, holding up his hands.  


Shut up! I won't tolerate that sort of behavior ever again, do you understand me?  


He gathered her back into his arms and looked down at her face. I never want to be lost by you, he murmured. Thank you. You saved me.  


I'll always save you, she said gruffly, running a hand through her hair, but she smiled as he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. After all, what would I do without you?  


He smiled for real then, meeting her eyes and seeing himself answered. Be terribly bored, he replied, moving aside her thick mane and kissing her throat.  


We should get out the blanket, she murmured, watching as his fingers slowly opened her shirt and bared her chest.  


I'll keep you warm, he whispered against the skin between her breasts, and not another word was spoken until after the sun rose the next day.  


Are you all right? he asked a week later, watching Lina emerge from the bushes. She had been ill consistently for several days, but it always seemed to pass by mid-day.  


I'm fine, she growled, looking miserable as she trudged back onto the road. Are we there yet?  


We'll leave the main road sometime mid-afternoon, I imagine, he replied, walking over to her and rubbing her back. He was very worried about her, especially since she had never been sick in the entire time he'd known her. If she fell seriously ill he really didn't know what to do. It was very unlike her to be unwell, and it disturbed him deeply. In fact, her vomiting wasn't the only thing wrong with her, he realized. Her breasts had become just slightly swollen and were very tender when he touched them during their lovemaking, and he wondered if she hadn't contracted some sort of disease.  


She groaned and leaned back into his touch, closing her eyes. That feels good, she murmured. He smiled and massaged her more vigorously, more moans of pleasure reward enough for him.  


Are you sure there isn't anything more I can do? he asked softly, kissing the top of her head.  


She turned around and leaned her cheek against his chest, putting her arms about his trim waist. I'm sure, she murmured into his shirt. But thanks.  


Anything you need me to do, I will, he said, holding her close. It seemed as if he lived for these moments, anymore. If he thought they were close during the winter, it was nothing compared to what they shared now. She had slowly begun to show him how she felt about him after their battle with the Monster, and his past happiness seemed like a shadow when juxtaposed with his joy at present. Lina was his world, and as long as she was happy, the rest of life could wait.  


I know, I know, she muttered, pushing away from him and starting back down the road. He lengthened his step and caught up with her, walking alongside as she took his arm. They strolled along in companionable silence unti he finally signaled them to leave the path.  


It took them most of the afternoon to beat their way through the thick forest, the vegetation of which bordered on jungle. Couldn't we ever go to ruins that are easy to find? Lina growled, pushing some vines out of the way.  


If they weren't hidden, odds are people would still live there, he replied mildly.  


Shut up, she snapped in return, blushing, and he smiled. She was so darling and indignant when he pointed out silly statements she had made. He took the lead, whacking plants out of the way with his staff and making sure she didn't slip on anything.  


See, it wasn't so bad, he said, gesturing at some stones that jutted out of the forest floor.  


She blinked at the stones for several moments before glaring at him with a raised eyebrow. You're a foot taller than I am. Of course it wasn't hard for you to crawl over all those damn logs! she snarled.  


He sighed and examined the stones.   


Well what? Don't tell me this is it.  


He levitated to the tops of the trees, unable to see anything but where the road cut across the land a few miles to the west and a hilltop, bare except for a couple of trees, a short distance away. I'm afraid so, he replied, landing lightly next to her. This is where your books should be.  


She turned around, studying the small clearing. But there are two sets of ruins.  


So there are. One set must be older than the other.  


Which one do we look in?  


I really don't have the faintest. Didn't it say anything in the first books you read?  


No. I guess we'll have to look in both. I'll take the one on the left.  


All right, be careful, he said, eying the ruins skeptically.  


I'm always careful, she answered, not even bothering to turn around as she waved at him. He watched her slip into the half-buried cracks of the ruins before plunging in himself.  


The ruins were dank and cold, the walls and floors lined with slippery algae and water. Foul, still air met his nose at every turn, and he raised the corner of his cloak to his nose to protect himself from the stink. His light spell reflected off the slick walls, making it difficult to search for hidden passages. Even if he found where the books had been kept, he doubted he would find the volumes. Unlike Lorander, these ruins were completely unprotected, and the damp of the forest had most likely caused the books to decay. He wasn't sure he wanted to stay in the ruins much longer anyway. When he had placed his hand on some of the stones for balance the rock had crumbled beneath his grip and entire tunnels had shaken. Lina was most likely in the same situation, and the thought made him turn around immediately.  


Just as he did so, the entire ruin shook, obviously a tremor of something large falling. He stood perfectly still, waiting for it to pass as the others had done, but instead it grew stronger. Tendrils of cold shot down his spine and paralyzed him as he realized what was happening. The ruins were collapsing, which was starting a domino effect. If he didn't get out soon, the entire place would be rubble and he'd be crushed along with it. He braced himself against a column as the shaking continued, noticing with horror that it wasn't his ruin that was caving in. That meant only one thing- Lina was in danger.  


he screamed, immediately breaking out into a run, completely heedless of the slippery floors or dangerous tremors. He considered just blasting a hole straight to her, but he had no idea where she was and didn't want to risk making the collapse worse. Lina was a survivor, and he was sure she was on her way to the exit. Still, after so much time, she was certainly deep within the ruins and no amount of running would save her. Even if she managed to cast a spell in time to keep herself from being crushed, she would run out of oxygen unless he could free himself, locate her, and blast her out of the rubble without killing her.  


he shouted again, knowing she couldn't possibly hear him. He tripped on an outcropping and tumbled, skinning his hands and knees on the porous floor. He scrambled to his feet and continued to run, lungs burning and heart racing as he desperately tried to find his way out. He had to save her, he just had to. Life would be so utterly dull without her, and he would be alone, so alone. She was all he had, and she was worth anything he could do to save her. The rumbling became too violent for him to stand, and so he cast a quick spell, speeding through the darkened tunnels. Oh no, he knew she was trapped, he could feel it in his bones, and there was no way he could get to her before she died. It was over, everything was over, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. Burning tears formed in his eyes and streamed down his face. He couldn't reach her in time. He hoped with every fiber of his being that she wasn't afraid or already dead. Oh please let him be in time, he said silently, chanting her name like a protective mantra inside his head. He had to save Lina, but there was no possible way. . .  


Just as his lungs felt like they were about to burst from his mad sprinting and massive expenditure of magical energy he was struck down by excruciating pain, falling into a writhing heap on the dank floor of the collapsing tunnel. Rock rained down upon him as every nerve in his body was set aflame, agony completely taking over his consciousness. He screamed as the pain burned into him, shaping him, and suddenly it was there, the vast darkness of the astral plane, like a sea of power before him.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

For a moment he thought he had died, then realized that he suddenly had the power to rescue her. Whatever happened didn't matter, he had to push through the anguish and save her. She was the only thing that mattered, and so he summoned his energy and pushed, feeling his physical body dissipate into nothingness. Then she was there, her small astral form pulsing with expended energy, and he knew she was trapped. He went to her as quickly as he could, popping from the astral into the physical before he even knew what had happened. There she was, pressed against the wall, teeth bared as rocks began to rain down upon her. Without thinking he stepped in front of her and picked her up like a child. she breathed, then shut her eyes and winced as the ruins crumbled on top of them. He clenched his teeth and pushed again, and the next thing he knew they were standing on the bare hilltop, watching clouds of dust rise from the forest floor as the ruins caved in upon themselves.  


He set her gently on her feet but did not let her go, instead pressing her to his chest as he began to comprehend what had happened. _Xellos_, a voice said in his mind, a voice he had known for centuries and always would know. _Come home_.  


He scowled and shook his head, refusing, and slowly reached out with his power. Yes, it was still there. The vast power of the astral plane was at his disposal. His body was still wracked with pain as the sounds, sights, and smells became sharper than before at the same time that his other senses died. The light of the setting sun no longer felt quite so warm on his skin, and Lina's weight against him seemed inconsequential and surreal. His eyes flew open wide and he felt the aging of his body stop, the decaying of his physical form coming to a complete and total halt. He blinked once, twice, and then realized that precious little felt the same as when he had been human.  


A shudder wracked his body and he released Lina, refusing to look into her eyes. He hung his head slightly, letting his bangs obscure his eyes in their shadows as the sun set. Lina breathed, still leaning against him. He could feel her breathing, feel her still clutching him, and he knew within the next few moments he would lose everything once again. It was the true nature of his penance, he decided, to feel the pain of losing humanity.  


Lina looked up at him, concern written across her pert features when he didn't answer her. she asked softly. How did you do that? He still would not reply. She clutched at him more tightly, shaking him gently. Xellos! What's wrong? she cried, brows furrowing.  
He closed his eyes and raised his head, wishing desperately that Monsters could weep. He waited until he felt her gaze on her face, then slowly opened his eyes. She gasped and put her hands over her mouth, shaking her head. Oh, no, she whispered.  


I'm sorry, he choked. I'm sorry.  


You're. . .again. . .  


He closed his eyes again and looked away, unable to tolerate the raw look of pained shock on her face. he breathed. I am.  


_Xellos_, the voice said inside his head, and he felt her pull calling him home, dragging his essence toward her against his will.  


Change back, Lina said, looking up at him with moist eyes. Change back!  


He was thankful for the deadened emotions of a Monster as he examined her carefully, memorizing every feature. Dearest Lina, he murmured, running his hand through her hair. Beautiful Lina.  


Don't go, she demanded, eyes welling with unshed tears.  


He felt his mistress' spell of compulsion sweep over him, and again he resisted it with all his might. He didn't want to leave her, not just yet. Damn his mistress- he wanted the choice!  


Lina said softly.  


He suddenly knew what spell he wanted to put into the rings he had bought at the festival. Reaching into his bag, he drew them out and settled them in his palm, holding the orihalcon chains in the other hand. He cast the spell quickly and slid the smaller of the rings over the chain, reaching out and fastening it around her neck. These rings are made of amurium, a metal that hasn't been forged for hundreds of years, he explained. Even when the metal was being made, it was rare for two pieces to come from the same forging. I managed to find these two at the festival we were at. They're priceless, you know.  


She fingered the ring, looking down at it. she breathed again, tears silently streaking down her cheeks.  


He felt his chest tighten, and he knew that if he was still human he would have been sobbing like a child. Amurium is valuable not only because it was so difficult to work and therefore rare, but also because it can contain spells, casting the magic indefinitely with the same potency. The orihalcon chain will keep the spell from leaking, so anytime you want to use the spell, simply slip it off the chain and hold it in your hand.  


What spell? she whispered.  


Lina, dearest, whenever you hold this ring in your hand and call for me, I will come to you immediately and no matter what I'm doing. This immortal is yours, he murmured, putting a finger under her chin and tilting her face up to his. He kissed her tenderly for long moments, then crushed her to him with all his might. Power was grand, immortality was invigorating, but nothing compared to what he had shared with her as a human. For you, I would have given up everything, he whispered into her hair, squeezing his eyes shut. If I am ever allowed to choose, I know the choice I would make.  


With that he let her go, forcing himself to look deep into her eyes and realize that they could never be together the same way again. Goodbye, Lina Inverse, he murmured, memorizing her face. If you need me, I'll come.  


And with that he vanished into thin air.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!! 

******************************

Lina stood, struck dumb, for several moments. It was over, it was all over. She couldn't be with a Monster. So many things had played over his face as he had stood before her, his beautiful eyes looking at her with slitted pupils. If she tried she could still feel his warm hands on her skin and his full lips upon hers, his silky hair falling around them like a curtain as he bent to kiss her.  


She clutched the ring in her hand, feeling her heart shatter into a thousand pieces at her feet, and bowed her head. Xellos was gone, and she had only just realized she loved him. She wondered what his real punishment had been- condemned to death as a human, or condemned without love as an immortal. She wished the choice had been his to make. Perhaps it someday would be, and she wondered what he would truly choose.  
Lina sank to her knees, the sun's last rays dying behind her, and watched the light catch the dull gold of the amurium in her hand. she breathed into the wind, and cried her heart dry until nighttime overtook her.


End file.
